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The Southern California Polyamory Meetup Group Message Board The Southern California Polyamory Meetup Group Discussion Forum › anxiety inside a communication guideline

anxiety inside a communication guideline

A former member
Post #: 5
hey everyone! i went to my first meetup back in November and it's really great to have a resource like this available to everyone! I quickly skimmed a lot of the articles and information posted in what looks like a wiki!

it's been quite an adventure on this side of the fence since Nov - found a friend really open to having an "intimate friendship" the way I've envisioned it for years and it's taken a lot shedding and honestly and cleaning up (not with just her, even with my parents!) to get to a place where we were comfortable just cuddling in bed so a brave new world it's been! :)

I'm wondering if anyone might have something to contribute around my experience w anxiety & peeps who go out of touch and/or MIA. you know creating "no news is good news..."

it was a bit of a wake up call today when i realized I have the same thing going on even with men - a good friend of mine came back to the table and shared what was going on for him and get that it's not about me. it was really great to talk about intimacy at this level - i could feel myself really relating.

I took on agreeing to a communication guideline with another friend - like agreeing we're both busy during the week and have bandwidth during the wkd to touchbase. doesn't seem to work - finding myself anxious and i guess what's frustrating is when the wkd comes, i realize quickly everything is not as I imagined and it's all good. if anything, I realize if trust were present, things could be quite spectacular!

well - it's been 2 wkds in a row inside this agreement and thought I'd take the time to listen to any wisdom before the next one arrives - thanks! :)
Midgey
user 9380902
Burbank, CA
Post #: 3
I have a suggestion that may or may not work for all parties involved.
When you find yourself feeling anxious, maybe send an email or text stating you're just venting your anxiety. At the same time, do it without expecting a reply (or, at least, an immediate reply). This way, you get that urge to know what's going on out of your system and at the same time you're letting the other person(s) know what you're going through without imposing. After a while, you might find yourself not needing to do this anymore and the anxiety might subside.

Just a thought.
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