user 10393775
Round Rock, TX
Post #: 3
This came up in discussion at last week's meetup so I thought I would pass the info along.

Poly-Austin hosts a monthly Poly 101 discussion group (in addition to weekly dinners). An experienced poly Austin member leads the discussion. It is generally a small group and a good way to explore ideas, ask questions and get to know people. Poly 101 happens on the first Sunday of each month from 5-7pm. They have been meeting at Genuine Joe's coffee but they are looking for a new space to meet in so no guarantees future meetings will be at that location. For July the date falls on July 4th. With the holiday I don't know if they will actually be meeting or not.

If you are interested, I would suggest subscribing to the Poly-Austin yahoo group, but you may want to use the digest mode. Once you join, you will receive notifications of events and can see the calendar.

Go to and search for "poly-austin".
user 12067033
Austin, TX
Post #: 1
TY for info!
Nicholas H
user 10861941
Denver, CO
Post #: 53
Some helpful material

_Various Configurations of Relationships_

Poly fidelity is when a group of more than two people are exclusively romantically involved with each other. A closed relationship of more than two people.
A triad is a group of three people who are all involved with each other.
A vee is a group three people; one person is involved with the other two, but those two are not involved with each other. However, the non-involved two are usually friends.
A quad is a group of four people. There are two forms: each person is involved with two others, but not necessarily all three, or everyone is involved with the other three (also called a cross-quad).
We think we might be the only ones who use web to describe the myriad configurations of a group of more than four people.
Many people people have a network-like dating style in which they're involved with several people who are at least involved with one other person.
We can't forget the poly couples: sometimes two people people are only involved with each other, for various reasons (time management, strengthening their relationship, etc.), or they might be established as a couple in which the partners may have other partners, just less serious ones (what many people think of when talking about an open relationship).
Not all poly people are in current relationships. We can't leave out the single poly people!

_Polyamory vs. Polygamy_

polygamy means having multiple spouses.
polygyny means having multiple wives.
polyandry means having multiple husbands.
Some people who consider themselves married (whether because of a ceremony and/or they got incorporated as a group and/or live as a household) will use these terms, but many poly people shy away from them, especially "polygamy", because of their associations with abusive relationships in which one person is taking advantage of several or many.

_Some terms_

A permissive mono is a someone who is okay with their partner having polyamorous relationships but who aren't themselves interested in dating more than one person at a time.
Your metamore is your lover's lover.
Compersion (or frubble in the UK) is often described as the opposite of jealousy. It is, essentially, feeling happy when your partner is happy with someone else.
Some people use spice as the plural of "spouse" (like "mice" and "mouse").
I use faux-poly to describe someone who says they're poly but who doesn't act like it. This can take many forms.
New relationship energy (NRE) refers to the distracted, infatuated, butterflies-in-your-stomach-like feeling people often get when starting a new relationship. It is a state in which one's judgment can be affected and one might do silly things. It can be annoying to one's already established partners.

_A Few Concepts_

Jealousy vs. envy: it can often be helpful when trying to mitigate negative feelings to recognize them for what they are and identify where they come from. For example, jealousy is when one wants to keep something or someone all to him/herself and/or fears losing it/them, whereas envy is when one wants something that someone else has.

Some people use a hierarchy to describe their relationships. It is not used so much as a way of grading how important someone is or how significant your relationship is, but more as a convenient way of describing the level of involvement. For example: if you have to move to another state, your primary says, "When are we leaving?", your secondary says, "When can I visit?", and your tertiary says, "It was nice knowing you".

Non-monogamy: some people don't like the word "polyamory" for various reasons. However, other people argue that "non-monogamy" is mono-centric. Also, there are quite a few people who have relationships with multiple people but who shy away from labeling themselves or their relationships.

_Book Suggestions_ (I might start a discussion just for this topic)


The Ethical Slut by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy - many people refer to this book as the bible of polyamory. Whether or not that's true, it's a very famous and influential book and has a lot of good information and advice. Make sure you get the new edition, though. It just came out. The old version is by Dossie Easton and Catherine A. Liszt.

Open: Love, Sex & Life in an Open Marriage by Jenny Block - a memoir by Jenny Block about the process of opening her marriage.

Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships by Tristan Taormino - Tristan Taormino is an award-winning author and sex educator. This book talks about various forms of non-monogamous relationships. The website, http://www.openingup....­ set up as a resource and community for non-mono and curious people.

Relationship Dancing - I'm not sure. Amazon doesn't have a listing, but Jessy mentioned this book.


Woman on the Edge of Time by Marge Piercy- my favorite book! A complex story about a woman in a psychiatric hospital in the 1970s and her ability to psychically connect with a utopian/dystopian future. The people she meets in the future are polyamorous and gender neutral, among other things.

The Fifth Sacred Thing by Starhawk - another utopian/dystopian future with a pagan spin on it and some elements of polyamory.

A lot of people associate Robert Heinlein's writing with polyamory.
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