Damian Conway

  • May 17, 2012 · 6:30 PM
  • Pace University

Temporally Quaquaversal Virtual Nanomachine Programming In Multiple Topologically Connected Quantum-Relativistic Parallel Spacetimes...Made Easy!

Watch in terror as Damian writes a Perl program to extract square roots using nothing but quantum mechanics, general relativity, and the very fabric of the space-time continuum.

Along the way we'll also investigate: Wittgenstein's dark secret; the diminishing returns of physical computation; Roman philosophy; when Super Science Adventures go wrong; the greatest Lego kit of all time; the secret identity of Sith; carbon logic vs silicon logic; the giants of 1930's physics; elementary spin-half quanta under relativistic motion; CAT scans; Will Smith; bongos; drunken bets involving penguins; algorithmic consistency; God's dice and the problem of free will; intrinsic self-inconsistency; the many worlds outside Copenhagen; and the inventor of stage diving.

What happens when Dirac meets Deutsch meets Damian? Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world!


IMPORTANT: You must use your full name on your Meetup profile so your name will be on the guest list with Building Security. (One Pace Plaza is the large building at the northeast corner of Park Row and Spruce Street, close to the on-ramps to the Brooklyn Bridge.)

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  • Hani Z.

    Great Presenter, sweet venue, well organized, and nice crowd.

    May 19, 2012

  • Nick B.

    Awesome presenter.

    May 18, 2012

  • Belden L.

    I had a great time being trolled by Damian.

    May 18, 2012

  • Belden L.

    The earlier link to the 2008 OSCON talk crashed my browser (I run blahblah on yaddayadda). This link worked though: http://tinyurl.com/6jc9mzb­ Plus this shortened URL which has the very handy mnemonic, "Six Jumping Conways? Nein! Mein Zeal Blocks!"

    (See, look: you memorized it already.)

    May 18, 2012

  • David G.

    @Sandeep, Damian's response about Timelike::Loops: "the module is based around selective automemoization and isn't a good interface to it for general usage. They would be better off with Memoize (already on CPAN)"

    May 18, 2012

  • Packy A.

    The man was an amazing speaker, and I got to see a great deal of thought-provoking and totally useless code! Exactly what I was expecting!

    May 18, 2012

  • jeff o.

    always an awesome speaker!

    May 18, 2012

  • Bennett T.

    As always, entertaining and thought provoking. Very well crafted talk, by the end he'd explained the title well enough that we felt we understood it well enough to follow his train of reasoning. "and then I implemented it" is an improbable punch line, but he made it work.

    May 18, 2012

  • A former member
    A former member

    The time characteristics of qubits versus the model simulated by Quantum::Superpositions was a little blurred, but otherwise a great talk!

    May 18, 2012

  • Ali Sinan U.

    As usual, Damian provided us with an exciting window into the universe.

    May 18, 2012

  • David G.

    Awesome talk, as usual. As Gag Halfrunt might say, "Vell, Damian's just zis guy, you know?"

    May 18, 2012

  • David G.

    I don't think the materials themselves are online, as Damian makes his living as a trainer and speaker, but he gave this talk as a keynote at OSCON 2008 and it's online here if you want to see it again (and with some different jokes, even): http://technocation.org/node/57...­

    May 18, 2012

  • Howard S.

    It's great when someone who is obviously brilliant can poke fun at himself and his interests in such an entertaining and hysterical manner as Damian did. I'd love to see him make a guest appearance in Big Bang Theory.

    May 18, 2012

  • Milan

    Could we get a link to all the presentation material. I would really be interested in dissecting the code to wrap my mind around it in every dimension be it in the future or in the past or vice versa.

    May 17, 2012

  • Milan

    Really good speaker! Got me motivated to get back into Perl again...

    May 17, 2012

  • David G.

    I'll ask him.

    May 17, 2012

  • Sandeep C.

    can we get Dr Conway to post his Timelike::Loops to cpan ?

    May 17, 2012

  • David G.

    I'll be onsite at security. If you're bringing a guest, we should only need the meetup member's name.

    May 15, 2012

  • David G.

    (Truly pseudonymous individuals — e.g. Skud — should contact an organizer for special accommodation.)

    May 15, 2012

  • David G.

    Note: you must make sure your Meetup profile has your full name so it's on the guest list at security. (I.e. both a first and last name -- something that reasonably convinces a security person to let you in.)

    May 15, 2012

  • Christopher M.

    If Damian is ok with video streaming, I will get something set up.

    May 15, 2012

  • David G.

    We're working on getting a larger space. Details coming soon, I hope. So if you're interested, go ahead and get on the waiting list.

    May 15, 2012

  • John N.

    Does anyone have video streaming equipment? At the last meetup we had a number of people that attended remotely and I'm hearing requests for the same?

    May 15, 2012

  • John N.

    Hey, looks like we need to up the number of allowed spots and squeeze some more chairs in that room!

    May 15, 2012

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