Embracing Imperfection: Is It Possible to Find Peace as a Parent
Details
Article summary and topic for group discussion. Meetup facilitated by Jean Chuang Menges (http://wisdomhouseny.com/about/jean-menges/), L.Ac., AdvCBP
A Moment of Truth
Embracing Imperfection: Is it Possible to Find Peace as a Parent?
By Teresa Graham Brett, J.D.
Pathways, page 70
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Throughout the course of my life, my definition of peace has changed. I used to think peace was the absence of anger and conflict. Then, at 36, I became a parent. For a while I thought peace might mean being able to go to the bathroom by myself. Peace is holding the many conflicting ways we feel as human beings about ourselves, our relationships with each other, and the world around us all together in one space. If we believe peace can only be achieved through perfection, we set ourselves up for failure. We can create peace amid all of this if we allow ourselves to see the beauty in the messy process of life, in the back-and-forth process of learning, and in the sometimes painful process of growing. I don’t have to be a perfect parent. I do have to be willing to engage my imperfections. I have to be willing to understand the ways I need to let go of expectations about how they should be, and be willing to be in the messiness of how they are right now. Maybe even more important, engaging my imperfections means that I am willing to see myself as imperfect, understand that my imperfections are a part of who I am, and still love myself. I have to be willing to love myself enough to not excuse myself for my behavior when it hurts someone else. I have to love myself enough to forgive myself for my imperfections, so that I have room to grow and expand as a parent and a human being.
Resources
Parenting for Social Change (http://www.parentingforsocialchange.com/)