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The OC Young, Fun and Nerdy Meetup Message Board Young, Fun and Nerdy Topics › RSVP Etiquette...take two.

RSVP Etiquette...take two.

Newport Beach, CA
Post #: 67
I always viewed the "Maybe" option as the "I may be there, I may not" option. I didn't see my no show as a flake out for that reason. But I did stopped RSVPing "Maybe" when the first email/notice went out (for me that was after the first 80 plates meetup).

I'm more of a spontaneous person, and mean no one any disrespect with my past no show. I just choose to decide last minute what I want to do. The idea might seem fantastic when it pops in my email, but on that day I might not feel like being with anyone or doing that something. So I like that freedom.

On the other hand, as mentioned before, I do respect that others do not have the same views as I do. Therefore, I now decide on the day, and if there aren't any spots open, I move on.

Hope this helps other spontaneous types like myself, and of course the organizers and assistant organizers from future flake outs.

I'm also not a fan of the deposit.
A former member
Post #: 12
I can understand the Organizers' frustration. It's obvious a lot of planning and effort goes into these events and it can be upsetting and inconvenient when it seems like attendees don't show as much care. But I can't say I'm comfortable with the deposit idea for screening events either. While I try to revise my RSVP to Meetup events at least a few days beforehand if my schedule becomes iffy and I can't guarantee I can attend, I can see that things come up for other people -- emergencies, last-minute schedule changes or obligations, or just lack of energy. I know the last one seems like a cop-out, but as a naturally introverted person, I can empathize with the feeling of "I just don't think I can try to be more outgoing than I really am right now."

I'm more comfortable with the deposit idea for things like restaurant outings, especially when reservations or an upfront group deposit is required. But generally I prefer an overall three-strikes policy, where you get a strike for being a no-show or changing your RSVP to "No" within 24 hours of an event. It can even be within 48 hours of an event for events like potucks which require contributions from the attendees.
user 10026463
Irvine, CA
Post #: 23
Thanks for the input gals. We need to hear your take on things! cool
user 10401756
Cerritos, CA
Post #: 70
I second James' comment--thanks for the input!

To me, this really all depends on the nature of the meetup event. If it's a free-for-all where there are no RSVP limits or especially if they're "no host" events, clearly flaking out is not such a big deal. If, however, it's an event which takes more planning, and one which a no show will detrimentally impact the event, then of course there is more onus on the attendee to take some thought about the commitment of their RSVP. Good examples of this would be things like potlucks where a critical item like plates or drinks might be missing...or restaurant meetups where reservations are most likely made...or perhaps events where you're the designated driver for a carpool. I guess the possibilities are endless. Persistent zero-effect no shows might be a concern...but consistent flagrant no shows that impact an event should be treated more harshly.

As an organizer, I take great pleasure in scheduling meetups so that a maximum number of people (without creating a mob) can enjoy them. From the feedback above, I can go the extra step and include a flake factor in my meetups. I've decided that for certain events, and if time permits, I'll allow "Maybe"s the week before deadline, and during the week I'll send out an email to all members for confirmation. Only those who email back with a solid commitment and follow all the instructions in the post will be given priority by chronological order of their response--that's only fair. Of that group a no show will certainly get a strike. Again, persistent no shows to other events should perhaps get half a strike...or something to that effect.

This can all really get quite cumbersome. Most of us here are adults though...and the concept is quite simple to me. Some RSVP's bear more thought than others. If you have any questions, I suggest you contact the organizer for their individual opinion as early as possible. We're an email away. Until the organizers have their meeting to discuss new possible rules, this idea works for me.

Regarding extenuating circumstances...that should also be left to the discretion of the organizer. I may be an RSVP nazi, but an emergency is an emergency. I'm reasonable.

Lastly, regarding deposits...if someone is willing to go through the trouble of reserving their spot in a meetup w/ a deposit, that's fine w/ me. Also, perhaps people can pay off their strikes with fines, which will go towards fees at future meetup events, or perhaps a charity organization.
user 10401756
Cerritos, CA
Post #: 84
FYI. New official rules as per our organizer meeting last weekend to be posted soon. For now, be advised... Repeated no shows (RSVP of yes or maybe & then not showing up...aka flaking) may be subject to a three strike rule, as in three strikes may constitute removal from the meetup group. Extenuating circumstances notwithstanding of course... Considering the organizers are volunteering their time to the group, and that we're all adults here, I think this is reasonable. Cheers all.
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