Dinner Party Club Purpose

Dinner parties are back in vogue. They are the most refined and sophisticated theatre for authentic human contact. I have personally hosted dinner parties at my home for thousands of people over the years and I have come to learn that most people sitting round the table has a story to tell, uniqueness about their life, a touch of worthiness inside them. Yes there has been the odd occasion when someone has not lived up to that expectation but without a doubt, the good I have discovered in people has far outweighed the bad.

I made a decision many years ago that I wanted my house to have laughter inside the walls (that’s how I grew up). As a woman living alone I had only two choices, watch crappy sitcoms alone and hope for a chuckle or two, or fill my house with wonderful people once in a while who would bring laughter, joy, warmth and fun, so that long after they were gone I would still feel the sense of home in my house. So I started entertaining, throwing dinner parties for friends, having singles parties, inviting couples over, girls nights, etc. Now, every time I look at the wear and tear on my house I am reminded of all the wonderful times that’s been had there. Every scratch on the floors and every red wine stain have a story.

Before the advent of the thousands of eating establishments in our cities, people socialized in one another’s homes, and there was a connectedness, and a sense of warmth and comradery which developed. With the fast-paced lifestyles that most people live today, we have lost much of that. As a result, society has become such that people are finding it more and more difficult to really connect with one another, to build friendships, and there’s a greater sense of distance amongst people. These dinner parties are an attempt to change that. This dinner party club is another one of my efforts to keep this fine art of dinner party socializing alive.

Who Should Join?

This club will consist of members 40 years of age or over, who love good food and conversation and who love people; and who add positively to the group dynamic. This club will offer an alternative way to meet new people, build new friendships, network, and socialize in the company of likeminded people. I will arrange dinner parties for groups of people who share common interests and backgrounds. This dinner party club will consist of single men and women, couples, etc.  Reliability is a MUST.  Once you committ to attending a series of dinner parties you must be able to follow through with that committment.  Being a no-show or cancelling before any dinner party is unacceptable.  If you die before the dinner party takes place your executor must attend :)

Membership Requirements:

When approving memberships, I will be looking at whether or not you have the space, ability, and willingness to contribute to the group by sharing the hosting responsibilities. If you do not have a home environment or party room access (for those living in condo’s) that’s conducive to hosting a dinner party for a minimum of 6 people, your membership in this group may or may not get approved, as everyone is expected to contribute and participate and share the cost and responsibilities of hosting. Having said that, there are times when someone may not have the space or privacy to host a dinner party at their own home but would like to team up with a co-host and share the costs, work load, etc of hosting at another person’s home. Some of our dinners will allow for this type of arrangement.

There are also times when an individual or couple may wish to participate in a dinner party series but may prefer to make their contribution monetarily as opposed to sharing hosting responsibilities. This will be considered also at times, depending on the style of dinner party series being planned. In an effort to maintain fairness for everyone, all members will be expected to contribute and do their share. If a member has not contributed to the group within a reasonable time frame, their membership will be revoked.

You do not need an estate home, fancy chandeliers, crystal glassware, or china dishes to become a member of this group and to participate. These are not the things that make a great dinner host. When you have had guests at your home for a dinner, they will likely not remember the style of your dishes or the look of your drapery; most educated, genuine people are above being impressed by those things, they will look more toward the inner core of a person and the energy that’s being emitted. People will remember if you created a warm, inviting, caring, giving, fun environment. What you own is not nearly as important as who you are. Your goal is to make sure your guests have a great time, not that they be impressed by your cooking or envious of your home.

You do not need to be a gourmet chef, an experienced cook, or have entertaining experience or skills to participate in this group; however a willingness to learn and develop those skills will be needed. Some people will choose to participate in this club because they want to develop their entertaining/hosting/cooking skills and that’s ok. Others will participate because they already love entertaining and cooking and want to utilize those skills as a way to meet new people and build new friendships, etc. There are many faucets of a successful dinner party and the taste of the food is just one small part of it. In this club we are not so much concerned about whether or not your flan flops, as we are about the effort you put in, your willingness to do your best, your sense of team work and cooperation, and the warmth and kindness you demonstrate as a member of this club.

How it Works:

I will plan and put together groups of approx 6-10 people out of the membership of this group for each dinner party series, and I will decide on a specific style for the series. The dinner party series will consist of each individual, couple, or team hosting a dinner party for the rest of the people in that series. For example, we may have 4 couples who have been chosen to participate in an Iron Chef dinner party series. This means that each of those couples would be required to host a dinner party at their home for the other couples, and each couple must be committed to attending the dinners of the couples in the series also. The Iron Chef series would be working with surprise ingredients, whereby at a planning meeting, each couple would pick surprise ingredients from a basket which have been written up in advance, and they would be required to incorporate those ingredients into their meal when they host.

All dinner parties must be smoke-free and pet-free. If you have pets, placing them in another room during the dinner party is ok. However pets and smoking must not be present at any dinner party. In addition, the only guests permitted at each dinner party are members of this group who have been approved to participate in a dinner party series. Hosts must make arrangements for other people who may be living in the home during the dinner party, including children, visiting guests, roommates, boarders, etc. All dinner parties are restricted to members of this group.

The most important thing at any dinner party is having the right mix of people together, the energy of the group determines if the dinner is a hit or a flop. The outcome of every well-planned dinner party is success, and that’s our ultimate goal. Planning, etiquette, foresight, reliability, manners, and effort are the minimum acceptable standard for all members of this dinner party club, regardless of whether you’re role is as a host or a dinner party guest. I will make every effort to avoid recruiting members whom I feel have the potential to hurt the group dynamic, who have a negative/critical personality, and whom I feel would not be a positive addition to the group for whatever reason. I reserve the right to cancel a membership if I feel the individual’s presence/participation at dinners has hurt the dynamic of this club.

Dinner Party Style:

Our dinner parties will be a combination of various styles including, but not limited to pot luck, host served, hors d’oeuvre inspired menu’s, outdoor bbq’s, cocktail parties, progressive dinner parties, mystery dinners, etc. Some parties will be themed, some will consist of competitions, some will require working with surprise ingredients, or surprise recipes, some will focus on ethnic cuisine’s, some will require working with a co-host, some will be a ladies only, some will consist of men cooking and ladies cleaning up, others will consist of ladies cooking and men cleaning up, etc.

Geographical Location: Our dinner parties will span the GTA, and suburban area.

Dietary Restrictions:

If you have a long list of dietary restrictions, whether they have been born out of health necessity, religious beliefs, likes/dislikes, allergies, etc. this may not be a good social environment for you. I will not restrict membership to anyone based on their dietary restrictions, having said that, the expectation is that each individual accepts personal responsibility for the choices they make in life, and it is our own self that needs to be in control of choosing to eat a food that’s put before us or not.

Therefore, dinner party host/s will not be expected to take personal dietary restrictions into account when hosting a meal. The accountability will be on each of us individually to accept liability for the choices we make and to manage our own health, beliefs, allergies, and preferences in a manner that best suits our own needs, without placing a burden on others to cater to our individual need. Menus for dinner parties will not be planned around any one individual’s needs, but rather the group as a whole.