If you are considering a divorce, going through divorce mediation will save you a lot of money. The Divorce Help Clinic (San Diego/Carmel Valley) has a free drop-in clinic every Wednesday (12-1 pm) for people to stop by and get your questions answered and get direction during this confusing time.

COMING Thursday, September 9: Free 30-minute class (5:30 pm) that discusses full details about divorce mediation to see if it's the right option for you. If not, we will give you referrals to other resources that will meet your needs.

What is Divorce Mediation?

Divorce Mediation is an alternative to litigation (where attorneys fight one another for what their clients want.) Mediation, on the other hand, is an informal meeting with a neutral mediator and the couple working together cooperatively, calmly and fairly.

The mediator guides the couple through a series of step-by-step confidential sessions to resolve issues that might block agreement. The process is quick and efficient.

In mediation, the private issues discussed in session as well as your personal and business finances are kept out of public records. When using attorneys to obtain a divorce, nothing is private. Any "Joe" can access your information at any time.

If you have minor children, a mediator will help you create a co-parenting plan (a.k.a. child custody and visitation schedule) that makes the children’s welfare the top priority.

Document preparation in Mediation: Although our mediators cannot and do not represent you within the mediation (as they work as neutrals), they do hold legal degrees and are therefore able to draft and file all of the necessary documents to initiate and finalize your divorce, including your Marital Settlement Agreement.

Role of Attorney in Mediation: Consulting Attorneys in Mediation: While you do not need to retain an attorney, if you choose to mediate your divorce, it is HIGHLY recommended that you consult with an attorney. At the very least, once the Marital Settlement Agreement is completed (before you sign it), it is best to have an outside attorney review the Agreement from your own personal perspective and give you feedback as to the agreements made. 

Privacy: What You Don't Know will Shock You!

Many people don't realize that at the end of a divorce (one using attorneys), everything that came out in the divorce becomes public record--financial statements, debts, accusations of cheating, molestation, addictions. Making matters worse, nothing is private. Anyone can read the sordid details. This is not the case when couples use mediation to divorce as you will read shortly.

While the lack of privacy may not seem like an issue now, down the road it could be. For example, anyone who has romantic interest in you

if there are issues with co-parenting and baseless calls are made to child protective services, your divorce file is surely to be a document that will be reviewed by CPS! Or your future mate may be interested to learn about whom he or she is dating and realize she can grab your divorce file to learn about your behavior with your previous mate. We all know that divorce is a stressful time and a time when you are not on your best behavior, so to keep your private life private - avoid litigation!  

At the end of the divorce mediation process, the only document made public is your Marital Settlement Agreement. This document sets forth the final agreements made within mediation--how much support will be paid, co-parenting arrangements, visitation schedules, who gets the pet, and so on. Though still personal, it is minor compared to what is revealed at the conclusion of a litigated divorce. The courts guarantee confidentiality for those using mediation. The goal is to encourage people to agree on their own without clogging the courts with their fighting.  

Popular Partial Mediation Services

Not all issues require weeks of mediation. Some things can be resolved in a matter of hours.

• Couples Considering Divorce: Working with couples to decide IF divorce is the best option. Sometimes all that's needed to save a marriage is mediating problem issues to find workable solutions.

• Custody Battle. Often times, making slight adjustments in your behavior during the divorce process is all it takes to get the court to divide custody time more evenly. Just because your situation may look helpless, doesn't mean it is.

• Single Parents: Teaching separated parents how to spend quality time with their children.
• Divorced Parents: Helping divorcing couples to establish a co-parenting plan that works for everyone involved.
• Engaged Couples: Don't let the first year of marriage be your worst. Money is the number one reason couples divorce. Learn how to avoid this by establishing solid financial practices. Also learn how to build a strong foundation and avoid the other pitfalls that lead to divorce. Come up with agreements to make your marriage strong from the start. (Also suggested for Newly Married Couples)

• Blended Families: Blended families have the highest rate of divorce. Mediating new roles, expectations and issues of conflict can help avoid commonly destructive forces between spouses and new family members.

• Post-Marital Adjustments in co-parenting plans after a divorce.

• Pre-Nuptial Agreements. With couples marrying later and multiple marriages, having a pre-nuptial agreement is a smart decision. And if handled poorly, can end a relationship

• Pet Visitation Schedules. Don't forget your precious pets during divorce. They don't have to end up with one "parent." Instead, setting up a formal agreement about shared visitation can be as detailed as some people make for their children. For people who love their pets, putting your pet's interest first will make a better life for everyone.

• Marital Mediation. If you and your spouse can't resolve certain issues, mediation will help you find resolution before the problems get so deep-seeded that divorce becomes the only way to solve the issues.

According to the National Conflict Resolution Center, “Research shows that when you compare couples who have mediated their divorce with couples who go through an adversarial divorce, mediating couples are more likely to be satisfied with the process and the result, likely to take less time and spend less money, and are less likely to go back to court later to fight about something.”

COST: We have two programs for you to choose from:

1. The All-Inclusive, Flat Rate Fee ($3,750). This program is recommended for more complex cases. If you and your spouse have yet to come to an agreement on any issues and feel you will need a sufficient amount of help to negotiate your issues (3 or more 2-hour mediation sessions), then this fee structure is best for you. Under this arrangement, you will know your entire cost of your mediation up front, no matter if it takes you 3 sessions or 10 sessions. This includes preparation of all of your court documents as well as your final Marital Settlement Agreement. It DOES NOT include your court filing fees.

2. Hourly Rate ($300) Plus Document Preparation Fee ($2,500). This program is recommended for couples who have come to many agreements already on their own and need a session or two to ask questions regarding the agreements they made and the consistency with the local laws regarding the issues. Perhaps there is an issue or two to work out, but for the most part you and your spouse need help with arranging everything into proper order and getting all agreements made into a proper Marital Settlement Agreement. This arrangement will save you money only if you limit your sessions to two 2-hour sessions. Once you reach a third session, the hourly fee will exceed the flat fee rate. This program DOES NOT include your court filing fees.

To get more information or set an appointment, Nancy@TheDivorceHelpClinic.com

LOCATION: The Divorce Help Clinic, 11622 El Camino Real, suite 100, San Diego (Carmel Valley), CA 92130.

For detailed directions,   http://www.thedivorcehelpclinic.com/c....
(Parking: All parking spaces are open. Ignore the painted numbers)