|Sent on:||Friday, July 24, 2009 9:06 AM|
There is still time to contribute to my election campaign! Voting doesn’t close until midnight! If y’all send some campaign dollars I’ll finally have something to fill the empty space in my deep freeze. Help some cold hard cash escape global warming in my freezer! Every campaign donor will receive the email address of a Nigerian widow, one of the many widows of deposed rulers and government officials, anxious to invest millions in your startup company. Or volunteer to help in my erection campaign! As a special thank you for helping, all volunteers will get a free weekend in a Florida Timeshare Condo just as soon as we can get the rest of our stimulus money to complete the erection.
P.S. remember to vote, and vote often, we’ve already counted your votes with our electronic voting machine, and now we just need you to cast them.
New Orleans, Louisiana – the place to pass a good time!
If you are not free to choose wrongly and irresponsibly, you are not free at all. – Jacob Hornberger (1995)
When the government’s boot is on your throat, whether it is a left boot or a right boot is of no consequence. – Gary Lloyd
Polls close at 11:59 pm TONIGHT.
Remember, voting is your civic duty. If you don't do it for yourself, please... think about the children. Do it for the children... they are our future. You don't hate children do you? Or is it the future you hate? Puppies? You don't like puppies either? What's wrong with you?
...because the future of kittens depends on you.
Oh, you're allergic to kittens you say? Well, ok that's understandable my eyes get kinda scratchy too and sometimes...ok fine, just vote or don't....whatever...what do I care anymore...bunch of children hating, future fearing, puppy kicking, "kittens make me ill" whining people, do whatever you want, alright?
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