Salsa Meetup Message Board › Ladies do you say no politely?

Ladies do you say no politely?

A former member
Post #: 1
Ladies we hate to do it (and guys we know it kind of stings when it happens)...but no one enjoys saying no to an invitation to dance. Sometimes we really are just tired, or the song doesn't appeal to us or we just finished dancing a merengue marathon and our legs and feet are screaming! And sometimes...yes its true...ladies will try to avoid dancing with someone that they have danced with before that they just don't click with. So guys what can you do or look for to avoid being burned?

1) If a lady is sweating and gulping down water...she probably just finished dancing..wait a song or two and ask her then.

2) I would suggest offering a compliment such as..You're a beautiful dancer!! Would you mind dancing a song? A little sugar goes a long way :)

3) Try not to be too insistent..if she doesn't immediately say yes or hints that she's uninterested...just let her know that its ok and that you would look forward to dancing with her sometime. Sometimes persistence can get misconstrued as being a bit creepy. Most female dancers are looking just for that...a dance...not a date.

Ladies... realize that it takes an incredible amount of courage for a guy to ask you to dance..especially if he doesn't know you. Be nice!! Give him at least one dance if you can but if you really don't want to dance with him... Don't postpone it and say later or not now because most likely he will keep asking you. You can say things such as.. I appreciate the offer but I've already filled up my dance card or I've already promised a few people to dance...You can be straightforward without being rude...

Last but not least...guys if you really want to learn how to dance and to practice...leave the "confidence serum" at the bar. The last thing a lady wants to do is be seen on the dance floor with a guy who'se had a bit too much to drink and making a fool of himself. The same goes for ladies..we tend to backlead already...don't make it worse.

Ladies.... what is your opinion on this topic and please share your methods of saying no that have worked
A former member
Post #: 3
Interesting points, Tali. I'll tell you how I deal with it. I try to say "no thanks" and give the reason.

Like you said, sometimes I'm tired; sometimes I'm thirsty; sometimes I was just about to leave. Sometimes someone asks me that I'm a bit afraid to dance with...people who don't know that I'm still learning to find my center (i.e., my balance) and give me a bit too much momentum. But no one has to be afraid of my "no's"...because they're never a commentary on the person's character (Who am I to judge anyone?) With that being said, I will say that it is ocassionally a comment on a person's social behavior, like if they're drunk and acting offensively.

Would like to hear why some of the guys say no. Any men reading this who would care to comment?
Mike R.
Group Organizer
Houston, TX
Post #: 25
Guys...I think this is a great topic. We tend to ask girls we either already know who will most likely say yes or who have never told us no. In order to really learn we need to ask all ranges of dancers...from the new beginners to the very experienced. Most girls will say yes if they know your intentions are just for practice. You can always say..hey can i practice a new move with you that I just learned? And don't take it personally if she says no..but appreciate it when she says yes.

If any member have any topic... Please feel free to post in the message board.
Mike S.
user 2834902
Sugar Land, TX
Post #: 5
yes, it can be difficult. It took me a long time to be comfortable just dancing outside of my classes and no less asking strangers to dance with me.
Whats bad is when a girl will turn you down, then she immediately dances with someone else, and I always remember those . Its not hard to see they stick to their own people, and dont venture far away from their click.

But , I usually get more turn downs then I do get people that accept my invitations, I dont know why, but I try to just not think about it too much. Imagine if it was switched around and the ladies always had to ask the guys to dance?
Laban J.
user 3163612
Houston, TX
Post #: 30
GUYS Try this. When you arrive to the club don't walk around the room scoping people out. Don't wait to have a dance partner. La vida es corta. Proceed directly to middle of the dance floor and Dance. Guess what happens next? The same women who would have turned you down will compete to dance with you because You Are now the Life of the Party. Do this from now on.
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