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Single Parents - Divorced Adults Group Message Board › Question #4: Advice to a Person in the Process of Divorce

Question #4: Advice to a Person in the Process of Divorce

A former member
Post #: 3
If you had to give one piece advice to someone experiencing a divorce, what would it be?
A former member
Post #: 34
Things will get better.
user 8080883
Waunakee, WI
Post #: 15
Be good to yourself. Listen to your body and give it what it needs - physically, emotionally & spiritually. Sometimes that can be hard when your mind is so busy thinking about issues regarding the divorce.
user 6540411
Group Organizer
Madison, WI
Post #: 42
Try to let go of the anger and develop an amicable relationship with your ex, particularly if children are involved. Obviously, this is a two-way street, but it will make life so much easier and more peaceful for everyone. And never, never bad-mouth your ex in front of the children.
A former member
Post #: 3
If you need help- don't hesitate to ask for it. This might include antidepressants, or sleep aids temporarily, but a good friend won't mind listening (yes, even again!).
A former member
Post #: 1
Never forget your kids... ever. You will always be one of the most important people in their lives and need to be someone they can count on.
As someone that has seen one parent pretty much ignore the kids in favor of their own wants, it can be hard to not feel that perhaps you need some time too. However that light in their eyes they see for me is more precious than gold.
Always be there for your kids and you will make it.
A former member
Post #: 1
This post has been deleted by the group organizer. If you have any questions or comments, please contact Laura individually. Thank you.
user 7897886
Madison, WI
Post #: 14
I know it's hard not to be angry, because I've been in your shoes. My son has had over 30 surgeries and I sat through many of them on my own. But try to realize that the anger only saps your energy and won't change how he chooses to behave. Try not to get caught up in wanting other people to see him as selfish and not there for his daughter. Focus on doing what you can for your daughter, not for what it will show other people about you, but because that is where you need and want to be. The past is already the past so rehashing it in your mind will only lead to more frustration and anger. Really try hard to focus on the present for yourself and your children. It's very hard to do, but if you constantly work on staying present in the moment it gets easier. Good luck, if you need people to talk to you are in the right group.
A former member
Post #: 2
Hi Julie,

I am new to the group and will meet up in February. I just saw your post, so I think you are in the beginning stages of the process. I have been divorced 9 years. Unfortunately my ex fought for more custody than 50/50, failed to co-parent, and alienated our children. The FCCS is swamped and over worked. I did not have a good experience with them or our GAL. The key point is this: If you have a contested divorce, they will seek out the weaker or better yet the parent who is more reasonable, and try to make them compromise. Stay strong for your kids best interests, and you will do fine. I hope your husband comes around. Speaking from experience, if your ex battles you every step of the way, it is extremely costly and very hard on your kids.

The best of luck to you. smile

Bob M.
A former member
Post #: 23

Yes, that's all. Just love. It's the only thing the heart knows, and it's the only thing that will bring you growth and inner health.

Whatever is in the way of living with an open heart needs to be honored for what it is, and sometimes we need to dance with things like anger, resentment, guilt and sadness. But these are teachers, not enemies, and when we've learned their lessons we can let them go. Then we can love.
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