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Single Parents - Divorced Adults Group Message Board › QOW #5: Ex Spouses & Significant Others

QOW #5: Ex Spouses & Significant Others

A former member
Post #: 1
My ex had his significant other for about 10 months before he ended our marriage....oh, no wait a minute - I am recently reminded that I am the one that left.....! Darn, I hate it when I forget the facts! Anyway, I was recently informed that his lovely girlfriend has posted pics of them on her facebook page. I refuse to view them but for the sake of our kids I did tell him I didn't think that was very cool - and they need to consider the feelings of others before they do stuff like that.

Our 15 year old has no desire to meet her and the older kids who are out on their own don't care to meet her either. I have not met her and I am fearful for the day I run into her/them because I don't know what will happen. I pray that God will take over and nothing bad happens!

The thought of any of my kids spending time with this woman breaks my heart. I am still so sad and having difficulty dealing with this split. I'm on a roller coaster - couple good strong weeks and then a couple of weepy weeks. God is holding me up and I am grateful. I feel horrible for all of you that are dealing with this issue and I don't know how you do it. Kudos to you!
A former member
Post #: 3
I don't mean to go off on a tangent and maybe this could be a new topic, but I wanted to respond to Todd's post. I completely understand why you can't be around your ex. I cannot be around mine either because it is too painful. He doesn't understand why we can't have a relationship! It's not that I haven't tried but I end up in lots of pain and have to cease any communication with him. There is no middle ground that comes close to feeling right. I could go on and on but wanted to just tell you that I understand what you are feeling - I truly do. Take care.
Jane L
user 9999308
Madison, WI
Post #: 9

Sometimes I have to re-read the question to understand what I was suppose to 'respond' to ... So - for the sake of 'children' I would not subject my child to another significant other unless it made sense to do so, ie for the safety of the child(ren). What I mean is that there is so much of this 'stranger danger' going around, that younger kids might not know who the 'other' is, in the moment, and I struggle with teaching when to tell my child that it is okay for "mom's friends' to be at school to pick up ~
I definately agree with Becky, that family decisions NEED to be made by the father and the mother of each child and there is a time and place for new spouses and former spouses, but they shouldn't make anyone else's lives confusing or unsafe.
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