Gratitude: Game Changer

Article summary and topic for group discussion. Meetup facilitated byJean Chuang Menges, L.Ac. (http://wisdomhouseny.com/about/jean-menges/), AdvCBP

Gratitude

Game Changer

By Lorraine Miller, HD, AADP

Pathways Magazine Issue 37, page 40

http://photos4.meetupstatic.com/photos/event/6/9/3/4/event_231806932.jpegA classic article by Robert Emmons and Michael McCullough that was published in 2003. Long story short, they did a multi-study paper on an intervention of counting blessings, where people kept a gratitude journal either daily or weekly, and the effects they found were absolutely tremendous. “Why do grateful people feel grateful?” Specifically when someone does something kind for you, you think about three things: * You think about how intentional that kind act was, and to what degree they went out of their way to do this.

• Then you think about how much it costs that person, not just in money, but in time, energy and other resources.
• And then, finally, you consider the benefit to yourself for that kind act, gift, etc.

The degree to which you process receiving something good with these thoughts (cost, intent and benefit), the more grateful you are. For parents, modeling what it looks like to be a grateful person is critical. You have to wonder, “If it works for other good behaviors and also bad behaviors, why wouldn’t it work for this?” And the answer is that it does. Obstacles for gratitude for kids are: * Distractions. They have their iPods on while they’re texting, walking or playing a game. They just have so much going on that they’re not slowing down and thinking about things.

• Materialism. The values that materialism deals with, specifically fame, wealth and image, run counter to the values that a grateful person would have, specifically competency, autonomy and relatedness. What we find is that the more materialistic people are, kids and adults, the less grateful they are.

Benefits for being grateful: Grateful kids tend to be much happier than their less-grateful counterparts. They are much more satisfied with their lives, they tend to be more pro-social, and they tend to report more meaning in life. They also report better GPAs. They report much better, stronger and more supportive relationships. They also report more community involvement and a real desire to use their strengths to better their neighborhoods, so that, of course, is tremendous as well. They also report being less delinquent, meaning they are less likely to cheat on exams, skip school, or have been suspended or expelled. Gratitude, as far as the signature strengths, has the strongest relationship with life satisfaction. So if you want to make life better, this seems like a pretty good way to go.

Resources

The Gratitude Challenge (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OHxlXLDMG0Q): A video documenting what happens when 30 bloggers were asked to participate in a gratitude challenge for 21 days. Very insightful! Froh, Jeffrey, J.: http://www.people.hofstra.edu/jeffrey_j_froh

The Gratitude Challenge: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OHxlXLDMG0Q

Miller, Lorraine: www.nourishbynature.com (http://www.nourishbynature.com/)