Let's Get Real About Who We Are Looking For

Ever seen those online profiles where the person is looking for someone who has it all? The perfect person who has virtually no flaws? I’ll bet you thought, ‘get real’ and then ‘Next!’. Have you looked at your own profile or wish list? Are you looking for the perfect mate? Wonder why, with the millions of singles in the world, you can’t find that person? Let’s get real for a moment.

Who exactly are you looking for? Prince Charming? Superwoman? There is certainly a fine line between having realistic expectations and settling. Nobody wants to settle, nor should they. Life’s too short to settle. But it’s also too short to sit around waiting for that perfect person who may not exist. I’ll bet nobody reading this thinks they are looking for perfection. However, I’d also bet you have some ideas about what traits you want. Have you considered if they realistically come packaged in one human being? Do YOU have all the traits someone is looking for in a perfect mate?

I’ve seen all too many times that people are looking for competing qualities in a mate. By competing qualities, I mean qualities that compete with each other. I have done it! For many years I was looking for a strong, driven, highly ambitious man who would also be a devoted father and nurturing husband willing to show his soft side. I’m not saying those men don’t exist; what I’m saying is those traits tend to be in opposition. A man who is strong, driven and ambitious is typically not also going to be soft, nurturing and willing to cry at a chick flick. He probably wouldn’t even go to a chick flick; he’s got work to do anyway. You get the picture, don’t you?

Have you ever heard that men are looking for a lady in public and a whore in the bedroom? (please pardon my French) Seems like it might be a tall order if you define a ‘lady’ as someone who is politely reserved and wears conservative dresses from Macy’s and you define a ‘whore’ as a woman who wears black leather outfits from Fredrick’s of Hollywood in the bedroom and rips your clothes off. Of course this is all subject to how we define a lady and how we define a whore, but you get the idea. All of those traits are usually not held by the same woman.

If you are open to discussing what traits you are seeking in a mate and doing a reality check on which ones you are likely to find in one person, please join us. And to reiterate – this is NOT about settling. Never settle. Just be real about who we all are as human beings and be clear on your true values. It could open up lots of possibilities.

Please be sure to answer the question asked during the RSVP process about your top 5-7 traits.

Please update your RSVP no later than 6 hours before this event if you are unable to attend, even if you are on the wait list.