1) What’s the problem? As the old song says, we are “looking for love in all the wrong places.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FAyDmJvjxbg
But, to make the words of that song more modern, the wrong place is this- Online dating!
2) Why is online dating a problem? Examples- He/she did not look like their photos, he/she lied about their age, he/she is married, and on and on…..Plus, online dating is exhausting!
3) So, why don’t we stop? It is commonly understood that it takes about 40 days to break a habit. What is the habit? Online dating.
So, if you are SERIOUS about wanting a RELATIONSHIP, stop being insane. What is one of the definitions of insanity- “Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.” Many of us have true feelings like “I want a relationship.” “I want someone to share life with, travel together, sleep next to at night, have coffee with in the morning,” ….you get the gist. So, why do we have these desires, yet not getting the results? Bad habits. Well, we have been using online dating for years. So, if it takes about 40 days to break a habit, what is the solution? Stop! Give this new way a try.
4) What is the Solution? Since ~70% of all communication is non-verbal, we need to meet in person. And combine the old with the new. What do I mean by that? Well, the old is pre-internet (ie meeting people in real life) with the new, the internet (that connects people). Thus, the reason to try this new meetup.com group. No “profile” to fill out. No giving out your phone numbers. No countless emails/texting. Instead, via this group, we will have numerous, real life, non- threatening, relaxed situations in which to have fun and meet other (single) people in a neutral setting.
Secondary reason- making new friends and maintaining friendships.
And, when you do meet the right person and start a relationship, don’t leave the group. Keep coming with your new romance to maintain friendships, but pay it forward. Bring single friends with you to give them the same opportunities you received.
5) What methods will achieve the desired outcomes (ie a relationship)?
Planned activities, for singles, in comfortable, relaxed, natural settings, making it easy to get to know others (and even make friends too). And, in natural settings, meaning, usually in public, around other non meetup people. A few examples…
a. Beach bonfires- dress casually, bring a chair, a Frisbee, a volleyball and just interact with others. Roast a marshmellow. Laugh. Have fun. Let nature take it’s course.
b. Live Music Venues- Like, Hennessey’s on Thursday nights in Dana Point. Great music. No cover. Small crowd. Room to dance. Room to sit.
c. House parties- A Sunday BBQ and watch football, play ping pong, play bocce ball, eat pizza. Chill, relax…..
d. Attending a public Food festival, wine tasting, etc. types of events.
e. And, sky is the limit!
There will (well, within reason) never be restrictions on the number of friends you can bring. They just must be single and in the age ranges as well.
And, with the venues, I never intend to single our group out. Meaning, no sign that says our groups name. No name tags. I would just make an invite and say something like, “Meet at Hennessey’s Thursday night. I will be sitting near the band or dancing. Just show up and have fun.” What does this create? Well, you now know that based on who RSVD’d, how many single men/women are coming. That you are in a non-threatening place. No pressure. Blue jeans. We will blend in with whatever crowd is present and no one will know that a “singles meet up group” is over in “that section” to make you feel uncomfortable. And, keep this in mind…..no pressure. Say you show up and you don’t like the “vibe” in the air. Well, you turn around and leave. You did not have to buy a ticket. Buy a fancy dress for a rented hotel ballroom dance event and so on. Casual, normal, and natural. Sounds pretty refreshing, right?
This group is for you if: a) you are single, b) you desire a serious, dating, monogamous relationship, c) and, you are between the ages of 40 and 59, and d) must have a face photo on your profile
This group is NOT for you if: a) You are married or in a relationship, 2) looking for “hook ups”, fwbs, etc.
I am asking for help for those wishing to plan events or be assistant organizers. Or, give ideas for new events. Please email me directly if you wish to get involved.
PS "It doesn't matter who you are in the beginning. what you do in life reveals the colors of your soul. The colors of your soul determine who you are in the end. The choice whether to make those colors beautiful is yours."--------Maximal the Alternative, aka Rose the Masked One.