TRUST THE COMPUTER! THE COMPUTER IS YOUR FRIEND! You are a Troubleshooter! Congratulations!
As a Troubleshooter, you are a member of Alpha Complex’s most expendable elite force. Tasked with finding trouble and shooting it, you will be hunting mutants, terrorists, traitors, [CLASSIFIED], secret societies, renegade bots, and DAIVs, which are [REDACTED]. You’ll save Alpha Complex from its greatest threat, unless you accidentally become Alpha Complex’s greatest threat.
You look worried, citizen. Relax! It’s still Paranoia. The year is still 214. You still have six clones and a laser pistol. The Computer is still your friend.
Thank you for your service to your friend, the Computer! Stand perfectly still! Everything will be Perfectly Safe! Blissfully brief! And Faultlessly Hygenic! We look forward to working with your next clone. * Be advised that citizens containing POTENTIALLY HARMFUL BAD DATA are not genuinely ‘us’ in this context.