Have you been told to "be less sensitive" or to "just get over yourself"? Then we have something in common! There is much to say, and read, fortunately, about being an empath. Until someone introduced me to that word in 2010, I had no idea why my life was so complicated and painful. The books which helped me most are The Reluctant Empath and The Empath as Archetype volumes One through Five.
The toughest part for me was to figure out that not only did I embody people, thinking that their thoughts and feelings were my own, which obviously created chaos and confusion in my life (and was not fair to them), I also subconsciously perceived what they wanted from me. Unbeknownst to myself I would start to live their wants and needs and end up in one way street situations and relationships. I am very happy and relieved that with understanding has come a happier, healthier life.
I have only met a few empaths in person (so far). Their ages range from 13 to 52. All of us seem to lack a social life where we do not constantly have to defend ourselves and can interact with a level of mutual care and consideration that makes us feel 'safe'. I am starting this group to find each other. I am grateful to Meetup for offering the possibility to find each other online, but I myself am sensitive to wifi radiation, and will therefore limit e-mail communication and instead put all my positive energy into organizing in the flesh meet-ups in New York City. Because of how sensitive some of us are, this will be an alcohol-free group where we also ask you to please consider that smoking and even coffee, sugar and chemicals in our food and water can throw empaths off (even when just around other people engaged in those energies). Let's create a community where everyone's different neuro-paths and comforts are respected. I will, because of this, choose events and locations that avoid all of the above. Please let me know if something should be added for your convenience, so I can add it to this posting. In general it would helpful if members post a little bit about themselves, so please do.
Also let me know if you have a great idea, want something specific organized, or become a co-organizer to initiate meet-ups in your own city. Just think of it…in the long run, if we build this community up together in that way, wherever you travel, worldwide, you can find and connect to your fellow-empaths!
Since I have researched and written about this topic, which pretty much saved my life, I am always open to give lectures about navigating through life with "an empath energy field" upon request. Or host one of you doing so! I am hoping that in the future loved ones around us who may not understand all of the above, will attend. The core of our struggle seems to be the fact that most people around us (for now) do not believe that being an empath is this specific, and that one can be that highly sensitive.
Bringing people together, raising awareness, and providing information seems like a positive move forward in a society that lacks empathy more and more. That in itself of course is the reason that people no longer "dare to feel". But for any human being, not just empaths, the solution is not to suppress the pain (reason for the current raise of all addictions), isolate yourself, or to only care for your own family to create a false sense of safety. So let's open our hearts, have some guts, be strong, unite in bringing empathy back online, and turn all this around!
When I recently watched Judith Orloff's The Unhealthy Attraction Between Empaths and Narcissists I got my final confirmation. I truly am not the "oversensitive, boarder-line crazy woman who needs therapy" some tried to convince me I was. Yes, over the past few years the joyous creative girl (see dreeinthebigcity.com) who I had been able to hold on to despite my life long struggle due to "empath-unawareness", had turned into a shadow of herself. I had started to feel so unlovable, worthless and insecure that it blocked my creativity. Which I soon found out had been my lifeline. Without that lifeline, I quickly started to flirt with believing that there was no way out of the abyss I found myself stuck in. But, long story short, and why I am starting this group, I am rising out of the ashes with gusto; "I was blind but now I see" ; )
Last but not least; in a way I have of course invited "narcissists" into my life. To learn my lessons. They deserve a loving thank you. I am pretty sure that, in the end, their life is more painful than mine ever was. That deep down inside, narcissists are just empaths who lack any and all understanding of themselves. If your life is as out of control as mine was before I understood who I am, it makes sense that you have a need and therefore choose to manipulate and control another person to feel you have some kind of grip. In other words, consider that some of us become the master while others, subconsciously, the slave. But the only true solution, I think, is to learn to be fearless and dare to live, to ground ourselves, in the reality that is this world. Of course it is a key issue for empaths to detect narcissists (who refuse to change) because we are like magnets to them. But never forget, people can change.
Towards a human mental evolution; to all empaths becoming 100% self-aware, freeing themselves!