I've received email from three different people over the last week or so, from people trying to justify their belief that their bodies disobey the laws of physics. In other words, that they can decrease their caloric intake, maintain the same caloric output, and not lose weight. This is important to consider for reasons that have nothing to do with weight loss. It goes to the very heart of why human beings can have so much difficulty getting to their goals.

Let's get to it: I take the position that physics supersedes biology. That you simply cannot reduce calories below caloric output and not lose weight. Cannot happen in a universe that obeys the basic laws of physics. Anyone who honestly believes they can should present themselves to the local biophysics lab at the local university and collect their Nobel prize. Here is what's true: it seems that way. You reduce calories, keep your activity level apparently the same... but don't realize your body is slowing down to conserve energy, believing that you are in a famine. Wouldn't you realize it? No, not if your mind is affected the same way. It's kinda relativistic, in the same way that if you're in a sealed airplane traveling at a constant rate, you can't tell you're moving. Or, you aren't conscious of the calories you're taking in. Considering the number of times I've watched people munching their way through the day and then claim that they ate only at meals, I think that this is a very, very common human flaw.

And a flaw it is. Because any hole that gapes in one arena should be assumed to gape in others as well. While the body responds to basic physics (losing weight is difficult because of the physiological, cultural, economic and psychological factors, not the physics) the other two arenas are much more difficult to nail down. The Beauty/Power axis isn't physics. Beauty isn't quantifiable, and neither is power, really. But still, I believe that if you have a little conceptual flexibility, you'll see how this impacts relationships, and can open the doorway to personal growth and success in love. It isn't an absolute, but about 90% of relationships fall right into it.

Finances are even trickier. Remember: losing weight requires your action and resolve, and you can do it with zero cooperation from anyone else in the world. But you simply CAN'T have a relationship without the cooperation of at least one other person. So whatever tendencies we have to delude ourselves, to ignore what we know to be facts (I've had people with degrees in math make the same mistake in relation to biophysics) are DOUBLED, if not squared, in a relationship. Two people, each with their own agendas, their own wounds, their own hidden value structures and negative emotional anchors. If a serious percentage of intelligent, educated and otherwise perfectly sane people can believe something that is disprovable with a calorimeter, no wonder relationships seem like Chinese algebra.

Making money requires the cooperation of dozens of people. Sometimes hundreds or thousands, each of whom has his or her own agendas, etc.

So: body is easiest, then relationship, then finances. The basic building blocks of perception, discipline, passion, ability to force yourself to do things that aren't fun (balance the checkbook, anyone?) and so forth are similar from arena to arena. You want to be very, very careful: if you find yourself believing something that logic says cannot be true, then the only thing that makes sense is to assume you do it in places where you HAVEN'T found it yet. That whatever creates that one little brainfart is going to spread to other arenas, and breed in the dark.

There are only two things to write about. Maybe only two things to really think about: What is the world? Who am I?

Cosmology. Epistemology. Deep identity. How do you know what you know? How do you check for errors? The calorie thing is fascinating not because everyone should lose weight. No. If you're happy with the results you're getting in life, GREAT!!! But relationships and finances are incredibly complex in comparison. Look at the simple arenas, where you can see basic math at play, and can't blame your results on the economy, other people, whatever. And you'll see that even with that minimum level of outside interference (in comparison) we are not a species that is honest with itself. Maybe that's the cost of consciousness. Meditation is important because it forces us to ask the question What Is? What Is? Over and over again, digging deeper and deeper, throwing away comfortable excuses, until we reach bedrock.

This is one of the foundations of thought, maturity, evolution, human communication. What is true? First, look at the beliefs you hold that simply aren't accurate, and ask yourself why your perceptions are flawed, why we live in illusion, why our emotions subvert our intellect. This is serious business, people. Your ability to reach your goals depends on having an accurate map, as well as an accurate compass.

Use body, relationship, and finances to calibrate, and you can find your way out of the woods.

-Steve Barnes, http://darkush.blogspot.com/2009/04/cuba-and-calibration.html