Past Meetups (56)

What we're about

Hello everyone! My name is John and I'd like to welcome you to a fabulous group devoted to the following Myers Briggs personality types:

INFJ ("The Advocate")

INFP ("The Mediator")

ENFJ ("The Protagonist")

ENFP ("The Campaigner")

We are the iNtuitive Feelers also known as dreamers and idealists!

You can find out if you are one of us at:

https://www.16personalities.com

You are welcome to attend - even if you are not an iNtuitive Feeler - as long as you read and broadly agree to the communication guidelines just below.

Our main activity is a regular social event where people are encouraged to get to know each other and take part in friendly casual discussions about big questions regarding life, philosophy, psychology, the arts, sciences and social sciences. We can also organise other events depending on interest.

COMMUNICATION GUIDELINES >

People often tell me that our events have a good atmosphere. I think this is because we are a group that prides itself on a style of communication that promotes peace, harmony, support and encouragement. This style of communication is sometimes known as "loving speech" but of course it also allows for plenty of what we might call "loving disagreement" too.

We adore debates and discussions - and it's okay to engage in a bit of "playful combat" - but it's always vital to express yourself in a kind, gentle, friendly, supportive, harmonious and respectful way guided by "care bear diplomacy". Avoid anything that might seem harsh, shaming, coldly sarcastic, arrogantly condescending, dismissive, aggressively self-righteous or antagonistic.

That will probably seem obvious but it may not always be as easy for everyone in practice. It's okay if you get it wrong, what matters is striving to get it right. And so, I have provided a few useful examples of the kind of behaviour we would NOT expect to see at our events. None of these are unforgivable but they are the sort of thing we would generally discourage...

EXAMPLES OF DODGY COMMUNICATION >

It may occur to you that what someone is saying is "stupid" or "ridiculous": it's not a crime to think that but there's no need to say it. Words like that come across as slightly aggressive, unpleasant, dismissive, insulting and arrogant. They go against the supportive, encouraging atmosphere we want to create. So just be kind and keep an open mind. A good slogan: "No matter how certain I feel, I could always be wrong and they could somehow be right".

You may think that someone is ignorant about something and that they "should" know better: there's no need to point that out. After all, we want to create a positive learning environment rather than making anyone feel embarrassed about not knowing something. Good slogans might include: "We all have gaps in our knowledge" and "There's no such thing as a silly question".

You may think that someone is not doing something properly. Maybe they engage in "too much" small talk, ask the "wrong" question or explain something "badly": it's okay to think that but try to avoid being openly critical about it. Allow them to have their way and you can have yours. Good slogans might include: "Live and let live" and "It takes all sorts to make a world".

You may think that someone's views are wrong and then be tempted to talk to them as if they are a bit evil: try to assume that they are a good person with surprisingly valid or at very least understandable reasons for holding their own views. You cannot read anyone's mind and you are not there to judge their character anyway. A good slogan might be "Don't assume the worst".

For example, being very left wing does not make someone a Stalinist and being right wing does not make someone a Nazi. Even if they support policies which you consider evil then you could still treat them as a good person with "misguided" views. Using calmly deployed logic is more persuasive then getting upset or angry, calling someone a bad name or demonising.

I'm sure you get the idea: just try to be nice to everyone. Whatever you think about anyone or their opinions, just be nice anyway. Feel free to disagree but tell them why you disagree in the nicest possible way. We want everyone to feel good. It creates a good atmosphere and makes for a great group.

I also believe that loving speech has wider significance. There may be a temptation to judge others by one thing that we know about them but we never really know what they are going through. There is often a lot going on deep beneath the surface of what we know is going on. Yet with our speech, we always have a chance to make the world a slightly kinder place...

THE COST OF THIS MEETUP GROUP >

The group is FREE if you are attending up to three times a year. If you attend more than three times a year then you are not obliged to pay anything but I would certainly appreciate a contribution towards my Meetup fees preferably in the form of the drink of my choice (about once a year is fine).

SOME RELATED GROUPS:

https://www.meetup.com/London-HSP-Psychology/

https://www.meetup.com/Waterloo-Philosophy-Cafe/

https://www.meetup.com/Hampstead-Heath-Philosophy-Walks/

https://www.meetup.com/London-Social-Events-for-Deep-Thinkers/

https://www.meetup.com/London-Highly-Sensitive-and-Creative-Meetup/

A BRIEF INTRODUCTION TO MYERS BRIGGS >

Here is an explanation of Myers Briggs that I've recently cobbled together. It isn't perfect by any means but it's probably okay for beginners. At some point, I hope to improve it with the help of other members.

The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) is a system which provides a very interesting way of understanding different kinds of people. The system divides the human race into 16 broad groups or overall personality types.

Rather than grouping people by age, race, gender, occupation or their favourite TV shows, the Myers-Briggs system focuses on special psychological preferences that play an important role in how each personality is formed during childhood.

These key preferences are about how we experience life and especially how we process our experiences so they are known as processing traits.

THE 4 PREFERENCES >

According to Myers-Briggs, we are all shaped by four important preferences when it comes to how to process our experiences. These preferences make each of us more or less:

1. Introverts or Extroverts (I-E)

2. Sensors or iNtuitives (S-N)

3. Thinkers or Feelers (T-F)

4. Judgers or Perceivers (J-P)

These are the four pairs of processing traits in the Myers Briggs system. For each pair, we tend to lean more towards one processing approach than the other. Here is what each of those pairs describes:

1. Introversion-Extraversion > this is about WHAT WE TEND TO FOCUS ON: either the INTERNAL world of ideas OR the EXTERNAL world of people and things. Extroverts often prefer to experience more of something before understanding it whereas introverts often prefer to understand something before experiencing more of it...

2. Sensing-iNtuiting > this is about HOW WE TEND TO PERCEIVE THINGS, either by SENSING what there is OR by INTUITING possibilities that may exist beyond appearances, beneath the surface or between the lines. Sensors tend to be down-to-earth and more interested in what they can experience directly whereas iNtuitives are more interested in interpretations and hunches about reality including those which emanate from the symbolic, linguistic and unconscious realm. The majority of people are sensors and many of them may come across to iNtuitives as rather superficial since they are stuck in the somewhat mundane confines of what is whereas iNtuitives are fascinated by what could be, sometimes to the extent of dangerously confusing it with reality...

3. Thinking-Feeling > this is about HOW WE TEND TO JUDGE THINGS, i.e. either by THINKING of an impersonal conclusion that is logical, factual, consistent and concerned with objective considerations of cause and effect OR by subjectively finding our way to a conclusion which expresses what we FEEL strongly about. Compared to feelers, thinkers will sometimes lack emotional intelligence such as the understanding of important social signals about thoughts and needs which are often communicated through feelings. Compared to thinkers, feelers tend to be more emotional and will not always critically consider whether an opposing way of seeing things might be true. As a result of their feeling approach, they could be more agreeable and care more about the feelings of others or they could be more self-absorbed and concerned more with their own feelings and sense of "emotional certainty" over the needs and valid opinions of others...

4. Judging-Perceiving > this is about WHETHER WE ARE MORE LIKELY TO DRAW ORGANISING CONCLUSIONS ABOUT EXPERIENCES OR REMAIN CURIOUS, SPONTANEOUS AND OPEN-MINDED while continuing to perceive. Judging types like to have things understood, settled and decided relatively early whereas perceiving types like to keep their options open to change, creativity and chance...

HOW THE 4 PREFERENCES ARE USED IN MYERS-BRIGGS >

It's important to state that every human being will exhibit ALL of the above processing traits, focusing on BOTH the Inner and External world at different times, perceiving through both Sensing and iNtuition, being capable of both Thinking and Feeling as well as Judging and Perceiving on different occasions. However, the leaning towards one or another processing trait within each pair is developmentally significant.

You may have noticed that iNtuition is represented with an "N" rather than an "I". This is because "I" already represents "Introversion", hence the capitalisation of the "N" in "iNtuiting", "iNtuition" and "iNtuitive".

The four preferences are described using letters and dashes as follows:

I-E > Introversion or Extraversion

S-N > Sensing or iNtuition

T-F > Thinking or Feeling

J-P > Judging or Perceiving

They are then placed together side-by-side to describe a personality type as follows:

[I-E] [S-N] [T-F] [J-P]

Examples of a personality type include "INFP" or "ESTJ".

Altogether, there are 16 personality types based on every combination of the 4 major processing preferences.

THE PERCEPTIVE AND JUDGING PROCESSES >

An important point worth noting at this stage is that the second category [S-N] is referred to as the perceptive process or perceptive preference while the third category [T-F] is referred to as the judging process or judging preference.

The last category [J-P] also plays a special role because it tells us whether a personality's particular perceptive process [S or N] or particular judging process [T or F] is their most dominant processing preference.

After all, not all of our processing preferences play an equal role in shaping our personality. For example, there are two types of personality starting with INF: INFJ and INFP. They are similar personality types in some ways but INFJs put iNtuition over Feeling whereas INFPs put Feeling over iNtuition and that makes quite a big difference.

COGNITIVE FUNCTIONS >

Cognitive functions are what happens to processing traits when they are applied to either the inner or the outer world. Each cognitive function has its own two-letter code as follows:

Extroverted iNtuition (Ne)

Introverted iNtuition (Ni)

Extroverted Sensing (Se)

Introverted Sensing (Si)

Introverted Feeling (Fi)

Extroverted Feeling (Fe)

Extroverted Thinking (Te)

Introverted Thinking (Ti)

Here is a rough description of each cognitive function:

Extroverted iNtuition (Ne) - this type of iNtuition focuses on new possibilities for changing external reality, seeking out new ventures, projects or enterprises

Introverted iNtuition (Ni) - this type of iNtuition focuses on new possibilities for changing the individual's inner understanding of the external situation, seeking out new angles or ways of seeing life but finding it hard to express itself especially when emanating from the unconscious

Extroverted Sensing (Se) - this type of sensing focuses on the objective qualities of how things are experienced and suppresses their subjective impressions. It experiences things in a straightforward, realistic, uninterpreted and down-to-earth way, resulting in the concrete enjoyment of the physical world

Introverted Sensing (Si) - this type of sensing focuses on subjective impressions suggested by how things are physically experienced and ignores their objective qualities. It experiences things in a selective, interpreted, eccentric or coloured way filtered by the individual's personal associations, resulting in new ideas through the activation of the unconscious

Extroverted Feeling (Fe) - this type of feeling finds value in the collective ideals of other people and harmoniously adapts the individual to those, for example by conveying warm sympathy and understanding with others or even by suppressing the individual's own standpoint entirely.

Introverted Feeling (Fi) - this type of feeling values, fosters and protects an intense emotional life built around the individual's own ideals, rejecting or ignoring outside factors that do not match it. It may find it hard to express itself, resulting in some isolation, illusion or self-pity

Extroverted Thinking (Te) - this type of thinking focuses on the discovery of objective data, facts, thought processes and theories outside of the thinker, dismissing subjective ideas and experiences as irrelevant or trying to adapt them to what is externally recognised and understood

Introverted Thinking (Ti) - this type of thinking focuses on personal theories, questions and abstractions based mainly on subjective experience, observation and insight arising from the unconscious, seeking to either ignore objective facts or use them to support internally inspired ideas

DOMINANT AND AUXILIARY COGNITIVE FUNCTIONS >

We all have a dominant cognitive function and an auxiliary cognitive function.

An introvert's dominant function will always be used in their inner world, which is their primary area of focus. Their auxiliary function will be used in their outer world, which is their secondary area of focus.

An extrovert's dominant function will always be used in their outer world, which is their primary area of focus. Their auxiliary function will be used in their inner world, which is their secondary area of focus.

The dominant function and auxiliary function for any personality type are designated by the two middle letters in their 4-letter type description but not always in the same order.

For example the following personality types - INFJ, INFP, ENFJ and ENFP - will all have dominant and auxiliary functions that are either "N" or "F" since those are the two letters in the middle of their 4-letter personality type descriptions.

However, which function is dominant and which function is auxiliary always depends on the first and last letters in their 4-letter personality type description, i.e. whether a personality type is introverted or extroverted (I-E) and whether they are judgers or perceivers (J-P).

Here are the rules regarding which functions are dominant and which functions are auxiliary:

If an extrovert's 4-letter personality type description ends in a J then their dominant function (used in the outer world) is a judging one (either T or F) and their auxiliary function (used in the inner world) is a perceptive one (either N or S)

If an extrovert's 4-letter personality type description ends in a P then their dominant function (used in the outer world) is a perceptive one (either S or N) and their auxiliary function (used in the inner world) is a judging one (either T or F)

If an introvert's 4-letter personality type description ends in a J then their dominant function (used in the inner world) is a perceptive one (either S or N) and their auxiliary function (used in the outer world) is a judging one (either T or F)

If an introvert's 4-letter personality type description ends in a P then their dominant function (used in the inner world) is a judging one (either T or F) and their auxiliary function (used in the outer world) is a perceptive one (either S or N)

Here are some examples:

An INFP has introverted Feeling (Fi) as their dominant function and Extroverted iNtuition (Ne) as their auxiliary function.

An INFJ has introverted iNtuition (Ni) as their dominant function and Extroverted Feeling (Fe) as their auxiliary function.

An ENFP has Extroverted iNtuition (Ne) as their dominant function and introverted Feeling (Fi) as their auxiliary function.

An ENFJ has Extroverted Feeling (Fe) as their dominant function and introverted iNtuition (Ni) as their auxiliary function.

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