What we're about
NOTE: Our group meets every other month: January, March, May, July, September, November. If you have a desire for cuddling in between groups, try reaching out to other members you've met at the group.
When we first launched this cuddle group MEN CUDDLING MEN, our group catered to single, gay men. Now the group is open to all who identify as male: be they gay, bisexual, trans, asexual, questioning, straight, single, partnered, of diverse ages (21 and up) or of diverse ethnicities -- who want to cuddle with other men. It's definitely a gay-friendly space. I've been very lucky to collaborate with Charles Gamble on developing this group. We've had as many as 23 attendees at group cuddles! -- and as few as 10.
Our group is non-sexual. Clothes remain on at all times. (If you're looking for sexual hookups and have no intention of attending our cuddle group, we respectfully ask you to leave the group. There are other groups that are better suited to that.) It's recommended that members contact members only AFTER first attending our meetup and meeting them, for safety purposes. We are not responsible for any interactions outside the group.
I started the group for a few reasons. As a gay man who's been single for a long time, I deeply longed to cuddle again. And at times, I have dealt with stress and anxiety. Cuddling is a good remedy. Now that I'm deeper into the cuddle community, I've come to realize that New Cuddling is part of a larger movement to transform the way that all of us can get our touch needs met. Even by people we just met, or who are aren't romantically involved with. Sometimes we think we want sex, but what we really want is tenderness and affection.
* NOTE: By the way, for those curious about the services of professional cuddling, please visit: http://www.Cuddlist.com
Cuddling is soothing, fun and energizing. When you hug 15 different men in a session, you learn how each man cuddles differently. The experience can be sensual and even a bit romantic -- but think of this as mostly as Communal Cuddling rather than Romantic Cuddling.
You really don't know what the experience is like till you've had it. What are you waiting for?
Here is an article about our group in WINDY CITY TIMES. At the time, the group was focused on single gay men. Still gives you the flavor of the group and its purpose. http://www.windycitymediagroup.com/lgbt/Hug... (http://www.windycitymediagroup.com/lgbt/Hug-cuddle-group-for-gay-single-men-arrives-in-Chicago/53567.html)
One disclaimer: neither Charles nor I are therapists. Please let us know if you have any special needs, or physical or mental health issues we should be aware of. It is up to you to decide if our group might be a good fit for you. [I personally have dealt with depression and anxiety in the past.] We would like to be supportive of anyone, but realize there are limitations.
Here is a video I made about our group. Please enjoy! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dl4qv2avdH8
Our group, CUDDLE ADVENTURES FOR GAY MEN, has been profiled in Windy City Times and Chicagoist.com:
* Various Cuddle Opportunities in Chicago:
TRUTHFUL TOUCH is open to men and women: http://www.meetup.com/Truthful-Touch-Cuddle-Party/
CUDDLIST is a website to schedule a session for a one-on-one professional cuddler for a fee: Or visit: http://www.cuddlist.com/Dwight OR http://DwightCuddles.weebly.com
GROUND RULES for MEN CUDDLING MEN
Traditional cuddling takes place between people who are dating or in a romantic relationship, and the function is basically to deepen intimacy in that relationship. But the reality is that many of us aren't partnered, yet we still have the strong desire for tender touch, hugging, cuddling. And some guys might have partners that don't like to cuddle.
NOTE ON PHYSICAL ATTRACTION: Traditionally people cuddle because they are physically attracted to each other. With New Cuddling, we cuddle with the understanding that we all need to be held, and physical attraction is not relevant. One can say no to a suggested cuddle position, but please do not say no to a whole person.
The cuddle movement has been growing for twelve years and there are cuddle groups throughout the world. "New cuddling" is a bit different from old cuddling. It can occur between people who have just met. It is motivated more by compassion and empathy, than by physical attraction or the constructs of a relationship. It can create deeper feelings of connection, reduce aggression and anxiety, provide comfort when one feels isolated or lonely or when one is going through a difficult time. Cuddling is powerful, healing, and platonic!
REFUND POLICY. We must pay for room space, facebook advertising fees, etc. to hold cuddle events, so we generally don't offer refunds if you must cancel your RSVP. We can refund if a member gives 5 days notice, and asks for a refund. Or if there is an extreme event which prevents you from attending, that is left to the discretion of the organizers.
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1. Cuddling can be exciting but please keep your clothes on at all times. Sexual arousal can happen, but please focus on nurturing rather than arousing -- or we may need to gently intervene. :) This is communal touch which is different than romantic touch. We are caressing each other because we all need to be touched.
2. Most people come to a cuddle group to cuddle. But if you prefer not to cuddle at this time, that is also an option. It's understandable that newcomers might be a bit shy. Though you'll probably have more fun hugging and snuggling!
3. If either cuddler at any time feels uncomfortable with the touch being giving -- please take responsibility for telling your partner, and changing the course of the position. If said partner does not respect your boundaries, feel free to end the cuddle and move on to someone else. Also feel empowered to ask for the kind of touch that you want.
4. To fully experience cuddling, it's important that people come to the group without recreational drugs -- including marijuana and alcohol and other such substances.
5. Members should bring a carryable blanket and small pillow. A light blanket or bed spread is easier to carry.
6. A clean body and clean clothes are essential for cuddling. No strong colognes; deodorants are fine. People often wear sweatpants or gym shorts, t-shirts, etc. Some wear pajamas.
7. Everyone who wants to get cuddled will get cuddled. Make sure you take responsibility for getting your needs met.
8. It's a basic human right to hugged and cuddled -- whether one is in a relationship or not. Don't worry about erections. They can happen. Just focus on nurturing rather than arousing. Or think of baseball!
9. Sexual harassment and drama won't be tolerated. Please respect people's stated preferences. Also please be respectful of people's privacy and avoid gossip of any kind.
10. Some people like to talk while they cuddle. Others may prefer not to.
11. Please share the wonders of cuddling with your friends! We can change the world...one snuggle at a time.