Forgiveness is more about your future than your past.
The loss of emotional/psychological energy in maintaining a grudge, especially over a long period of time, is staggering. Yet most people are unaware of how corrosive and far reaching the long term effects of "hangin' on" to the past really is.
So, what is it to forgive? Is it even possible to really do it on the deepest emotional level where it has to happen to do any good? Most approaches to forgiveness are actually confrontational in nature, requiring an almost inhuman will and god-like consciousness to accomplish. But is this realistic? More importantly, are there any real benefits in forgiving?
Those clanging the forgiveness bell typically have one approach: "Just do it..." But when it comes to something as beneficial as forgiving some person or event or situation, we need to see real results. If you're ready to let go of past events you can't change anyway, be prepared to face your monsters and to understand how they have infected your core beliefs. And how your core beliefs perpetuate whatever it is you're shackled with.
A) Way back when, something terrible happened.
B) That something made you feel bad, angry, sad, helpless, vulnerable, alone, victimized, betrayed, all of the above and more.
C) You developed painful feelings, which have sapped the vitality from your life.
D) You adapted your beliefs and behavior to either compensate for or accommodate A-C. (messy)
E) At some point in life, maybe years after the fact, you realized you've been robbed by all this
F) Someone comes along and gleefully shouts "Forgiveness is the Way to Salvation!"
G) You try to forgive but get nowhere because you've been taught that forgiveness is tough, confrontational, and takes years of therapy.
H) Because you're still looking at A the same way you did while living in B-D, the term "Mexican Standoff" takes on new meaning.
I) And so, the Endless Loop continues: Nothing changes.
The premise of this non-religious but spiritual approach goes something like this: Look for and find the Gift inside A, consider the meaning of it, when you accept the meaning, the Mexican will blink and your view of A will move off center, all on its own.
There is, of course, more to it than this and this is not the only technique you'll learn, but once you grab the common underlying principles you'll see what a simple process it is to forgive. Not necessarily easy, emotionally speaking, but uncomplicated. And you will be able to do these on your own.
These are spiritual techniques, not psychotherapy. Register early.
Because of the nature of this work, and because every participant will get the opportunity to work on a real issue, I must limit class size. Also, what happens in this workshop, stays in this workshop.
Rick McBride is mixedblood Ani'yunwi'ya (Cherokee) who has walked the Red Road for over 35 years. He was named Cante Lute (Schan-tay Lou-tuh) by the spirits through his sundance chief, which means Red Heart. He is a sundancer and has been traditionally trained and authorized to lead ceremonies, such as inipi (purification lodge), prayer with the Canunpah (Pipe), drum healing and so forth. Prepayment appreciated. PayPal on website: https://mixedblood.info/schedule.htm