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Nerd Fun - Boston Message Board Nerd Fun - Boston - Event Related Discussion › NERD FUN: Why rsvp YES and then not come?

NERD FUN: Why rsvp YES and then not come?

Somerville, MA
Post #: 7
I also run a meet-up group, and have had my own issues with RSVPers and whether or not they show up.
Like Rick, I am definitely willing to give flakers more of a pass now that there is no more maybe, though, I think that people who RSVP yes and mean maybe should indicate that they are actually a maybe in their RSVP. If it is something I am not 100% sure I can come to but want to keep up to date on the event, especially in case there may be a date change, etc... I will RSVP Yes and then next to my yes I will add **Maybe**, and hopefullyremember to put a more accurate Yes or No when it gets closer to the event.

To be honest, my problem had always been that I can never get an accurate accounts most of my die-hards do not RSVP at all, so even when there were Maybes, i would tend to get more people at an event than RSVPed Yes or Maybe. And although there were always one or two YESes that never showed, I could always count on my die-hard non repliers to fill those spots and then some
Group Organizer
Cambridge, MA
Post #: 193
Reading this thread has been very interesting and has given me some things to think about. I do notice however, that the vast majority of the suggestions here have to do with the event organizers taking on more responsibility, nagging people, keeping attendance, limiting group numbers, instructing people on common courtesy, etc.

It is sad that something as simple as practicing good manners could resolve this issue, but some of the comments here only illuminate how unlikely that is to happen. The cavalier attitude towards rsvps has already had the consequence of me limiting the type of events that I run for this group.

Now I am going to seriously consider capping events and keeping track of no shows. If I do this, I will also track more closely the yes rsvps to my events. I am not going to let repeat offenders take up spots on an rsvp list to one of my events, preventing others who really want to attend from coming.

Before I forget though, I would just like to add that I thank all of you out there who are not guilty of this behavior, for keeping your rsvps up to date, and actually showing up when you say you will. It has been a pleasure to meet and discover things with you over the last couple of years. My social like has become so much more diverse and rich through the friends that I have made in this group. I look forward to making even more nerd friends going forward. You are the reason that I keep running events!


I think I'm going to start axing people from the group that RSVP yes and don't show, and I might do it like a mad dictator - just when I feel like it, for no good reason, with no accountability. pfffft...

Members can rejoin... I won't ban these people... members wouldn't need a note from their doctors.

...unless maybe they flake on a volunteer event (that was bad... a volunteer event I ran had more than 50% no shows... bad). Flaking on a volunteer event might mean a group ban...

Or maybe I can make a wall of shame page on here that makes the worst RSVPer list public, and not just something organizers can see ... hmmmmm. perhaps, rabbit, perhaps.

Orrrrr... maybe I'll start charging membership fees... from the flakes only..

Capping event's attendance is going to cause a lot of complaining and offline whiny emails to me... I will ignore these.

btw, the "maybe" option is not coming back 'cuz the meetup programmers can't figure out how to program their new attendance tool with a "maybe" option.

cool... I feel much better now. I like this no-accountability thing... :-D

Doreen C.
Medford, MA
Post #: 48
Good for you!
user 4347773
Boston, MA
Post #: 14
Things are what they are ....... you and NFB will be better off accepting that IMO . Don't take it so personal , be happy for the event and the people who show up . I have been there before with a club I ran and a on line group or two . People will come and go , show up or not . No matter what you do....... If you keep making posts / emails complaining ---- it will turn people off from what you are trying to do .

Group Organizer
Cambridge, MA
Post #: 194
I started the group in 2007 ... I believe this is the first time I made an issue of it... 'cuz it is a problem now.

just sayin'

Once every three years, Dan... if people get turned off... then go. meh... no biggie.

Things are what they are ....... you and NFB will be better off accepting that IMO . Don't take it so personal , be happy for the event and the people who show up . I have been there before with a club I ran and a on line group or two . People will come and go , show up or not . No matter what you do....... If you keep making posts / emails complaining ---- it will turn people off from what you are trying to do .

user 13542536
Cambridge, MA
Post #: 5
I like the 'wall of shame' idea. And Viva La Benevolent Dictator-For-Life!!
T.J. M.
Quincy, MA
Post #: 200
I have 88 people coming to a lecture I am attending tomorrow.

88 people.

Yes, 88 people.

How do I know they are coming? In the past month the event has been on the Nerd Fun calendar, they all RSVPed Yes... So, of course all 88 people are coming!

Wow. I can picture 88 people trying to sit at the small tables the MIT Museum provides. 88 people surrounding me outside the MIT Museum as I try herding nerds. 88 people following me down the street walking to Asgard for dinner. 88 people trying to sit at the same table. Me attempting to learn 88 names and forgetting my own. ;)

user 11731135
Cambridge, MA
Post #: 2
Speaking for myself, I am very shy with strangers. The thought of going to something with a large group can be very intimidating. Sometimes I sign up for an event and truly want to/mean to go, but at the last minute, I become too anxious and am not able to. Before seeing this post, I honestly didn't know that people RSVPing and then not coming was such a problem, especially when the numbers are so large -- I didn't think that one person would be missed. I will now be more careful about changing to "no" when I realize I won't be able to make it. Still, I feel that a draconian policy for no-shows would be unkind to introverts/shy people. Realizing that organizers will be angry at me if I don't make it turns something fun into another source of stress and makes me less likely to sign up for events.
A former member
Post #: 1
I was "talked to" for showing up to an event that I hadn't RSVPd for...I truly thought I had RSVPd "on time" but apparently when organizer printed the list of RSVPs for the event, it was before I had checked that I would be attending. As it turns out, no harm done there was room for me, but the organizer made it VERY CLEAR to RSVP as early as possible or I may not get on their printed-off list they use to check attendance..I found it interesting. I had RSVPd my attendance about 8 hours before the event...
Doreen C.
Medford, MA
Post #: 57
Well, drop-ins can be annoying too. If you have reservations or limited seating or something, having someone show up can mess things up. However, if the organizer wants to limit the rsvp time, it is easy enough to do in the system and this kind of mix up would not happen. Sorry that you experienced this.

However, I really think many organizers are getting uptight about rsvps in general. I have had events with all no shows. Granted it doesn't happen often, but if I had known ahead of time that no one was going to show, I would have simply canceled the event. It rather ticked me off.

It seems to me that a lot of people miss the maybe option for meetups. Believe me, the organizers of this group were really not pleased with that decision, but it is out of our hands. I think that allowed you to receive reminders and have things posted to your calendar. Instead many people seem to sign up for multiple events to decide later what they are really going to do. This is not a problem for open ended events, as long as you go back in and change your rsvp. But if you are not sure and you take up a spot on a limited rsvp event and there are people on the waiting list who genuinely want to go, then that is really bad form.

So if organizers are clear about limits and rsvp cutoffs and members are good about keeping their rsvps up to date then it's all good.
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