Next Meetup

OC-Polyamory's Eat&Discuss #15(discussion,+more topics via cmts)+
MEEvtL event listing ( MBPR0W: MO0I1G: Now a nearly guaranteed popular event! How? MO0I2T: The date on this event (shown above) is NOT final and WILL be moved forward... UNTIL we have, at least 5 days before it, RSVP YESes from at least 20 people with 55% women. . MO0IPC: Once this happens, the date will be finalized at the soonest reasonable date given: MO0IBD: aiming so the day-of-week and time-of-day stay the same, for easy planning. MP2IIS: NOT on some obvious conflict as a major holiday unless the event description says so (so any listing then would only temporary to collect more RSVPs) MO0J0Y: Once the date is finalized, that will immediately be announced, especially to all who already RSVPed YES. MO0I8Y: Until finalized, the date will be incrementally moved forward... MO0IAY: ideally as soon as clear that's necessary MO0I9Y: by 1 week typically, but MXQ49D: the postpone period will double typically when there has been no significant change from last scheduling, to avoid needless alerting & rescheduling MO0I6W: Any excess RSVP YESes, as most likely any excess men RSVPs, will be moved to a waiting list. MO0JFX: For any excess, we will get selective as to who gets in, but given no other factors, priority will be given to who RSVPed YES first. MO0JWJ: As one could infer, this plan should assure what it's goal is: that we never have another meeting with low attendance (as short of critical mass, yes even for a leftist group trying to take root in conservative (behind the orange curtain ( Orange County) NOR gender imbalance (yes, even for an easily-seen-as sexual group, so normally an-excess-of men, or all men)! MHQ8ST: Want more folks attending, plus great events totally suiting you? Then MAKE IT HAPPEN! -click here (! Including: MJ9E11: for our upcoming/future events MJ9E48: Don't wait, RSVP NOW! And if a MAYBE just say YES with explanation. MJ9EOM: for special-interest Meetups as ours, this REALLY helps build attendance more than anything else. MJ9E9N: SUGGEST TOPICS by commenting on the event listing, with 1 top-level comment per topic. MJ9EPD: We typically cover the topics people suggest. MJ9ESK: BRING YOUR LAPTOP + Devices for accessing Meetup, including for ( website sharing & research, posting questions & announcements, RSVPing for future events, and much more: just click that link. MDJQ6Z: Occurrences plus Historic Changes, in order: MG82DQ: Cost: Free!, though please support our venue as by buying a drink and/or food MHQCM7: #[masked]Fri(1st) ( at Freesoulcaffé ( name "OC Polyamory Meetup (" MHQCPV: #[masked]Fri(1st) ( name: "Coffee, Tea and Smoothies at Paradise Perks. Let's Chat! :) ("; "will repeat the first Friday of every month". MHQCV8: #[masked]Fri(1st) ( MHQCXK: #[masked]Fri(1st) ( MHQD0G: #[masked]Sat ( at The Waters ( named "Connections Games Party and Playshop (". MG85QT: #[masked]Sat1800 ( (named "Connections Game Party & Playshop 2" but became a general meeting), 3 attended, went hours -2200(venue close). MDJR5D: starting[masked], Repeating 1st Tuesday of each month -changed at MNT7VRL below. MG8RQQ: starting[masked], hours 7:00pm-9:00pm MG86AH: starting[masked], named "[OC-Polyamory ('s] General Meeting & Discussion" MBPR0Z: starting[masked], All into & curious about polyamory (, especially those local, let's grab a bite to eat, chat and connect! MKNMLQ: starting[masked]~-: Agenda: recurring community meetup agenda M0TAGN ( MDJQ6D: #[masked] (, went hours[masked](venue close), 4+1 attended, MDJQ89: #[masked] (, , went hours[masked](venue close), 2 attended. MG84AW: Starting[masked] ([masked]), VENUE --changed by MNT7VRL below. MFMAI1: CONVENIENT: right by Irvine Valley College ( (between 5 & 405 freeways) and with plenty of adjacent free parking MFMAKD: COOL: typically features a spirited diverse smart crowd of mostly IVC ( students plus some UCI ( students. MFMAWE: offers a full selection of non-alcoholic drinks plus pastries, with several good restaurants next-door. MFMDRL: We may be in the patio room which is nice but not well-insulated so if cold outside, HAVE/BRING warm clothing. MG86FK: starting[masked], named "OC-Polyamory ('s Eat&Discuss" MG87UG: starting[masked], announced "MJ9ESK: BRING YOUR LAPTOP + Devices for accessing Meetup (" above. MG8RPX: starting[masked], HOURS 7:00pm-10:00pm (as at all prior events, attendees stayed to 10:00pm despite it being scheduled to just 9:00pm) MDJQDH: #[masked] ( 1 week due to New Years Day) --topics "including on Polyamory Dating Sites ( as OkCupid (" MJ9EYU: starting about this point, announced "MJ9E9N: Suggest topics by commenting on the event listing,.." above. MGE0SK: #[masked] (, MHQBJF: #11:[masked] (, MHUAXJ:#12:[masked] ( OWN documentary ([masked]); &more topics via cmts), MJ7W4M: #13:[masked] ( ([masked]),+more topics via cmts), MNT7VR:[masked]Fri2200~ per point MMZ904 of post ([masked]), changes: MO0KZT: new venue (a popular family restaurant, just S. of Irvine Spectrum, a few blocks from freeway exit) so also MO0L1N: new Meeting date to repeating 1st Thursday of month (see MO0JU0), MO0L20: hours starting 1800 (see MO08FM), ending 2130, MJ9DX8: #14:[masked]Thu[masked] (, MO08FM: move time starting from 1800 to 1830 (but leave ending the same as a venue limit) per meeting now actual arrivals and when they said they could make it. MO0JU0: added MO0I1G (now listed at top), my idea I came up with right after everyone (but me) had left early from our yesterday's meeting: which turned out just 4 people, and all men!, for which they seemed notably disappointed, perhaps at me!, perhaps from not fixing a situation nobody in all OC has really been able to honestly fix. Well maybe rightly, for now I'm seemingly first to come up with what seems to be a real fix. :-) MMF3GX: #15: 2013.(when enough RSVP YESes)Thu[masked]~ (, MO0LGO: realized the present date[masked]Thu is the 4th of July, so since my new system MO0JU0 is flexible, including announces the date will move forward if needed, moved the date 1 week earlier (not later, yes even despite our low attendance), so[masked]Thu, as that then instead sooner announces this new and IMHO-exciting system, which offers solution, and by design will then move the date later when needed. MQ3PWP: chart of our progress to reach our RSVP-YES goal (; full discussion in our When thread ([masked]). LG4OWH: What are these codes as “LG4OWH:” on this point? They’re short IDs to date-stamp, uniquely-reference, & portably-track most any point or item. MDMN8M: Listing History, in order ( MKNMPR: all authoring here byIDestiny ( where noted here. MMF3E0: for prior history see last listing ( which this is a copy of. MO08GM: added MO08FM; pst[masked]Thu2100. MO0LHH: added MO0JU0+MO0LGO; pst[masked]Fri0143. MP2J2M: (MO0I1G updated: MO0I2T for clarity (adding "moved forward & "), (MO0I8Y, including MP2IIS motivated by the temporary-schedule on a major holiday ([masked]))); pst[masked]Thu1320. MQ3POA: Updated MMF3GX: replaced date from "[masked]" to "2013.(when enough RSVP YESes)" & added MQ3PWP; title portion: fr "#14" to "#15"; pst[masked]Wed1518. MXQ3NA: Due to a member not getting & heeding top featured dir ([masked]) quote(MO0I2T: The date on this event (shown above) will be moved forward & not-finalized until we have, at least 5 days before, RSVP YESes of (MO0I4Y: at least 20 people,)(MO0I5A: 55% women)) which all ~15 members before had no problem with, to make even clearer by updating to present version; containing section MO0I1G: reviewed again & polished further; pst[masked]Wed1907.

Needs a location

What we're about

Orange County (,_California)'s Polyamory ( with Integrity Community Group, since 2010

MJ6AZ9: For those in or visiting America's Southern California's Orange County (,_California), we are your community group catering to all levels of & interest in polyamory (, from ol' timers to those just curious about the community or if it might be for them. If you're in or around OC (,_California) and one of the increasing many actively living the poly lifestyle, or just experimenting with it, or want to meet other locals into it (maybe even to find some romance!), or just curious to know what it's all about, definitely join us! And we welcome couples, singles, triples, quads, & more!

MJ6CZS: Checking out & doing polyamory ( takes probably the most courage of any leading romance form, especially because it's new and it's all about NOT hiding the romances & multiplicity (, even from your kids. So give yourself a pat on the back!

MJ7NN8: As an example of one of our leaders is our our Event Host Dr. Corynna Clark ( "I'm a Tantra teacher, .. I'm consciously poly & practice bringing awareness to all my relations ..relating.. on the highest level that evokes our divinity.".

MJ6D5O: 2013.03.04- Membership requires approval, including:

MJ6D76: We actively limit who can get in ( membership & attendance) to balance the male-female ratio at events:

MJ6DQS: we only admit a sex (males or females) when it won't cause our events to have an excess of that sex at our events.

MJ6DU5: This has only ever had to apply to males. Because of the high # of males applying, currently only ~1 of 5 males gets admitted our group. So, males, make sure your application is outstanding.

MJD8EG: Be accurate/honest & complete. Including

MJD8WF: it's much faster & easier for everyone for you to do it right rather than do it over. Including apps that don't get it right the first time get 2nd priority as for those then we must stop & explain what all to fix and review again before we approve.

MJD8GX: Allow time for processing your application; we're unpaid volunteers, so we review new & fixed applications ~1x/month.

MJD9BA: We don't yet require but much prefer 1 profile/user per person (as >95% of people do already), rather than a profile which represents multiple people, however:

MJD9GG: In your profile answers, per the rules of poly (of one's romances open-with (so no secret-to) & consenting-of each another) (, to celebrate all your romances plus to show all your romances, both actual and potential (so including people recommending you to to at least some degree, so including our group) to show all them fairly-verifiably that you are NOT one of those with hidden-else-unreachable-romances here to cheat (, tell all your current romances (and keep this list up-to-date), and ideally share any related associates too (as who referred you), by giving for each his/her profile URL (else username plus URL(s) of the groups they're in so that profile can be found) plus telling what additional romances your relationship allows.

MJ6C3D: Here you can meet people to date & build-romances-with who are allowing of you having other simultaneous romances, however:

MJ6CFL: We focus on polyamorous ( families & friends, not on sex (unless it naturally comes from that or is sacred sexuality (

MJ6CBR: Per polyamory custom (, by default, at our events:

MJD58H: we allow children,

MJD59B: a few times a year we offer clothing-optional ( if pre-announced,

MJD5EP: but we don't allow sex at our events.

MJ6CMJ: Absolutely not allowed is a member romantically-cheating on anyone, including on non-members (as cheating on any outside romances), at least not via our members; and so nobody gets hurt from our existence, we do police this; for, per the core definition of polyamory (, if one have multiple simultaneous romances, everyone involved must know & consent.

MJ6AQD: Especially with ( polyamory's notable growth since the 2012 Showtime seri ( (, there are other "Polyamory" Meetup groups in Orange County (¤tpage=1&allMeetups=true&categories=&keywords=polyamory&radius=25&userFreeform=92780&mcId=&mcName=&gcResults=Tustin%2C+CA+92780%2C+USA%3AUS%3ACA%3A%3ATustin%3A%3A92780%3A33.7372177%3A-117.8135579&sort=default) but:

MJ6B74L: We are the largest.

MJ6B7D: We are effectively the oldest (there is one other which is a few months older they are mostly inactive)

MJ6BDB: We know our stuff

MJ6BGP: Co-Organizer & Effective-Head DestinyArchitect (, a MIT CS grad ( and Software & Social Architect including major writer on social issues & self-help publications (

MJKKOJ: who in 2004 founded one of the 1st polyamory ( groups Meetup ever had

MJKKPB: who's been publishing & promoting polyamory ( ever since ~1997 when, despite my being born romantic jealous (, I independently invented polyamory ( (except for compersion ( as something which "just makes good sense" --then later someone told me "Hey, what what you've come up with & doing called "polyamory"!".

MJKJ8O: Consequently most references linked here in this our group description, including "polyamory (" itself, are to his publications on the topic.

MJCQWO: As well as overseeing & managing the group & website and recruiting leaders, the notable events he currently hosts are the main routine general meetups (mostly fun discussion) as 2013.02's ( plus group watch&discuss of related movies as for Showtime's Polyamory (, plus relistings of notable related events as Brentwood Poly Family's Huge Poly Pool Party #9 ( and the US-wide annual Poly Living Conference as 2013 (

MJ6BKG: Event Host Dave Doleshal, PhD, designs & hosts annual polyamory ( conferences & retreats for last 3+ years, as 2012.09.21-23 (

MJCOOF: He is out of the area except for ~2 weeks of the year when he hosts polyamory events here..

MJCOJZ: His role is just (1) an Event Host (specifically just to run any related events he creates) plus (2) pay our Meetup hosting fees per his gracious historic offer & custom to do so (a paying Meetup subscriber is entitled, for his/her payment, to head, so pay the hosting fee for, a maximum of 3 groups, so Meetup listing him as the Head Organizer instead of an Event Host is only so he can pay our hosting fee).

MJ6BQI: And we generally have 1 or more additional credentialed leaders as "MJ7NN8: Dr. Coryanna Clark" above.

MJCRJU: And we're always needing more leaders & events! So please volunteer or nominate someone --by commenting on event listing or doing "Suggest a Meetup".

MJ6B86: Most important, We definitely have the most integrity.

MQFG87: Report & cast-out sexual cheaters! As plagues every poly group (but few well-protect from it), every meeting & month, 1 or more people (usually men, but occasionally women, too) try to use (abuse) our groups&members for their romantic cheating: these sexual predators seek out additional romances here (and at other romance & especially poly groups) when they actually and typically-secretively have other romances (typically a wife or husband, or other girlfriend(s) or boyfriend(s): typically an unmentioned (but often quite significant) person in his/her life or person who is "ok with it" BUT never "happens" to show) who don'tallow the predator additional romances (likely wouldn't allow it for a second!), so rather than renegotiate the predators lies and says or suggests they would allow him/her, or just hides his/her other romances; and while these predators plague dating sites&groups of all sorts in order to pray on members to get more cheating, they especially target & hurt poly groups&members almost certainly because predators figure the polyamorist or poly-curious is an easy target: if the poly member/group finds out about their other romances, the predator predicts (too-often accurately) the member/group will mis-think the predator's other romances have "of course" given predator permission to have additional romances (when anything is further than from the truth!), or at least will be be open to sharing the cheater (the cheater predator wanting to selfishly have & dominate all) --but don't tolerate for a moment anyone being sexually prayed upon: Following th ( rules of poly (which don't allow one's other romance(s) hidden from one another including before a new romance begins), we check everyone as best we can to insure our members & attendees are free from romantic cheaters, including verifying on each person's profile group application, which (per Meetup) is also his/her continual profile ("MJD9GG"+profile). But the biggest difference can be made only by you: Report & cast-out sexual cheaters! --Don't tolerate anyone being sexually prayed upon. Result: as cheater & cheating free as poly is supposed to be; and, if you hear of someone leaving/quitting us in a disgruntled huff, if past is any predictor of future, it's likely because they then realized we're serious and with us the hurt they're doing cheating (or attempting to) is going to get or has gotten exposed.

MJ6BVG: From Destiny's efforts, we're followers of the universal community group rules (see point MDMSQY below) so we make sure everyone is cared for, treated fairly, and no one disrespects anyone. Including having & following top rules:

MJCXHY: we don't allow anyone to act negative against anyone, nor against our group, without appropriate "due-process" -see core rule MJ9IGT below.

MJCXII:We pioneered profile Q MGCRel (, plus member-enforcement per profile accuracy MJCSEK below, especially to allow people wanting to check out us & polyamory but NOT yet allowed to have additional romances to still be a member of our group (yes, even though our group notably facilitates finding new people to romance with) while still preventing them, and every member, from exploiting our members & group to find people to romantically cheat with --a problem for any dating site/group but a notable problem for groups-with-integrity catering to open relationships as especially then both (1) newcomers reasonably first need to investigate this new romance form but (2) other members are then already open to a person having additional romances so then easily mis-assume a member's other romances grant similar permission.

MJCYG1:Whereas for our "competitors":

MJDBG: many polyamory groups have rules which say, & say often loudly, "This is not a pick-up or dating site. This is not a place for posting detailed personal ads or solicitations.", and even though this is also likely denying of what very typically but now covertly still happens nonetheless; whereas we realistically & healthily actively encourage finding & building romance, and can do so with integrity by also developing & enforcing top rules to spot & rid the bad parts.

MJ6BVY: Rather confusingly, one of the "alternative" groups is almost identically named Orange County Polyamory ( but is not the same; I give you here the URL as I recommend you NOT bother joining as no benefit to you, as note both groups are headed by the same person but that group is mostly inactive (indeed note it's description says it's "an experiment.") and it lists just ~1 event/year and that event is already also listed here anyway, and latest plans are the members of that group will be rolled into this one and that one closed.

MJ6BVR: Another of the other "polyamory" groups in OC on first look comes off as very active & sexy BUT at heavy price, including join it expecting to be maybe approved and then quickly & suddenly thrown out (what happens to most people who've tried it), as it's actually brand new to the scene (both the group & to the concept of polyamory) and not-surprisingly formed heavily by former & possibly-present swingers (so from typically overt & rampant casual sex & pure-physical) and, worst of all, hasproven itself to cavalierly & often wrongly throw out ~1/3rd to ~2/3rds of its just-accepted members, including goodfolks including even established polyamory leaders,while ironically keeping & facilitating troublemakers including malevolent gossipers plus those known to use poly groups group & their members to cheat on their spouse and families, starting by their leaders not actually checking the facts despite their claiming to carefully check out each member. With the by-far highest turnover of any Meetup group I've ever seen, they so routinely & without-warning throw out so many members (as in 2013.02 their membership suddenly dropping from ~95 to ~60 in 2012Q4 and then dropping from ~60 to 37 in 2013.02) that it occurs to me & others who've witnessed it that maybe they only just keep members whom their leaders actually might want to sleep with!

MJD13P: Where you can make a big difference! Unlike the huge polyamory groups in neighboring Los Angeles County (¤tpage=1&allMeetups=true&categories=&keywords=polyamory&radius=25&userFreeform=90033&mcId=&mcName=&gcResults=Los+Angeles%2C+CA+90033%2C+USA%3AUS%3ACA%3A%3ALos+Angeles%3A%3A90033%3A34.0502898%3A-118.2117257&sort=default), polyamory in Orange County (¤tpage=1&allMeetups=true&categories=&keywords=polyamory&radius=25&userFreeform=92780&mcId=&mcName=&gcResults=Tustin%2C+CA+92780%2C+USA%3AUS%3ACA%3A%3ATustin%3A%3A92780%3A33.7372177%3A-117.8135579&sort=default) is just starting to have solid roots, seemingly due to Los Angeles typically having ~4x larger Meetup groups than OC plus polyamory still being quite liberal and OC being Behind the Orange Curtain ( notably conservative (at least on-paper/in-public) including still a red (Republican ( county within ( a notably blue (Democratic) state (, though becoming bluer.

MDMSQY: Moreover, like a Better Business Bureau member... Our group is a proud follower & endorser of Universal Rules & Guidelines for L2PG1L (! –a free eBook which includes:

MJ78ND: Want more folks attending, plus great events totally suiting you? Then MAKE IT HAPPEN! -click here! including:

MJ9IGT: Core rule for everyone: Follow "Due-process" procedures for every possibly negative act (including quitting, deleting, removing, blocking, banning --even on your own stuff if that could affect others) to insure fairness, construction rather than destruction, and minimize losses & negatives -especially on Meetup where, like a gun placed in hands where it often doesn't belong, Meetup presently enables any member to typically do notable harm to accomplishments, reputation, & esteem --via typically freely offering users the ability to do these negative acts in couple of mouse clicks and without any safety mechanisms to prevent them (as requiring warnings, following published declared rules, authorization, delay periods, and explanation); so here's the missing procedures for everyone to follow before pulling any trigger.

LTDSHF: a great intro to Meetup. New to Welcome to Meetup, too! – the most-powerful major website to find & host in-person groups. If you want, simply use your Facebook to login. Meetup provides you 92,000 in-person local groups ( all topics, worldwide, & mostly for free.

MJCNH9: Additional rules:

MJCSEK: Be complete and especially accurate/honest.

MJCS5C: This is very-important with us, as the romance world is full of cheating & deception, including profiles on dating sites are very misleading, indeed often the most, but polyamory notably aims to be open & without secrets (

MJCRRE: Group profiles need to be complete & especially accurate, so they do not mislead and can be depended on so one knows who one is dealing with.

MJCXD1: Most notably, so answer profile question

MJCSBS: Report misleads as described under "MJCNGD: Do General problem handling MJProb (".

MJCNGD: Do General problem handling MJProb (

MJ78ZQ: Non-members, we encourage you to apply-to-join ( else reach us via our "Contact" link (

LG4OWH: What are these codes as “LG4OWH:” on this point? They’re short IDs to date-stamp, uniquely-reference, & portably-track most any point or item.

MJ78WV: Member-comments & history (on this section/description (see below for its history) plus on our URL, name, & other basics) (

MJKGS8: Section History, in order:

MJJLHT: I Destiny ( did all authoring here unless noted here.

MJKGWD: Group "Founded Nov 11, 2010" and Kundan ( reports he did it, therefore inital authoring would be by him.

MJKHDK: at some time later, Kundan ( stopped paying for the group and says Mani X ( took it over and did some edits (

MJKHGI: at some time later, Kundan ( says Dave Doleshal ( took over the group but just to pay for it; seemingly didn't do any admin but Event Host for his periodic conferences.

MJKH6J: "April 14, 2012" I joined the group so started to archive this page & others.

MJKH9B: "Posted Sep 27, 2012 12:24 AM"I created above thread (on this section/description (now as well) plus our URL, name, & other basics) (

MJKHOC: "Posted Nov 17, 2012 3:27 AM" I created original thread on (this) the official description ( and started improving it a little; that link details edits.

MJKHYQ: "Posted Mar 4, 2013 9:41 PM" per post ( & subsequent, full rewrite, 1st & more, as that link details.

MJKI0Q: added this "MJKGS8: Section History" plus minor formatting fixes; pst2013.03.12Tue1500.

MJKKVH: "MJ6BGP: Co-Organizer & Effective-Head DestinyArchitect (": updated; to "MJ6CBR: Per polyamory custom (, ", improved that link.

MJKNGE: to "MJ6CMJ: Absolutely not allowed is a member romantically-cheating on anyone, .., at least not via our members", fixed bolding on italics,+added the portion underlined realize regulating beyond this is unrealistic & arguably invasive; pst2013.03.12Tue1651.

MQFEOU: MJ6D5O: fully update, starting 1st with approving apps not 1/wk but 1x/month; MQFG87: added, to MQFG87; pst2013.07.24Wed1030.

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