Past Meetups (13)

What we're about

• A little about me and my motivation: I am a CA transplant. I love CA but I also found it difficult to find and keep platonic gay friends. I often feel like an outsider even after several years in CA. I work in the community as a marriage and family therapist. I want to create a network of friends who can show up authentically as themselves. Many times as men and more specifically gay me we go through life without a support system. I am no exception. While I cannot change anyone's situation, perhaps together we do not have to face it alone.

• The purpose of the group is help establish a community of platonic friendship in Orange County, CA through discussion and interpersonal interaction (meetup events). This group will meet up periodically to have targeted discussions based on topics related to being single/dating beyond our 20's and 30's, men’s issues, and anything else that may be relevant. Topic include: making friends, labels/"tribes", our heroes/role models, intersecting identities, sex/dating/relationships, growing up gay, and spirituality.

• There are so few spaces in OC that accommodate gay* men’s issues. Usually you have to go to Long Beach or Los Angeles. It gets harder to make friends the older we get especially if you are gay*. Some men can be weird about reaching out and establishing friendships. You are not the only one. It is hard. It's natural to want to surround yourself with others who are similar or have gone through similar experiences. As we age, we grow, and change and so do our relationships.


1. Are motivated to meet up & identify as over 30 years old and gay


2. Maybe you are: Non-scene gay guy, a transplant; have “out grown” your current circle of friends; maybe you are gay but do not have gay* friends; are a busy professionals and it's hard to make new friends; tired of social media and/or gay* apps that do not focus on friendship; guys separated from family; widowers; single dads; or anyone who wants to make sincere friendships with other guys.

3. The screening questions I ask are kind of personal but they help build a better group. They are basic questions I would ask if we meet in person any way.

4. If you truly feel that you would like to join or are not clear on if there is a match based on the description, send me a message and we can talk about it.

5. You need to have a clear face picture in your profile (Most already do). Please no random body parts. (It happens more than you think).

•TO BE ABSOLUTELY CLEAR: This is not a sex group/hooking up group. If this is what you focus is, this group is not for you. Maybe try one of the gay dating apps (Grindr, Scruff, etc.).


*Gay is loosely defined as same-sex oriented.

I identify as gay. Being same-sex oriented will be a running theme. You do not need to identify with a label to the join the group, but it helps.

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