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Bi-Weekly Discussion - Has The Internet Ruined Romance & Relationships?

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Brian B.
Bi-Weekly Discussion - Has The Internet Ruined Romance & Relationships?

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We're currently hosting our discussions at Café Walnut, near the corner of 7th & Walnut in Olde City, just across the street from Washington Square Park. The cafe's entrance is below street level down some stairs, which can be confusing if it's your first time. Our group meets in the large room upstairs.

Since we're using the cafe's space, they ask that each person attending the meetup at least purchase a drink or snack. Please don't bring any food or drinks from outside.

The cafe is fairly easy to get to if you're using public transit. With SEPTA, take the Market-Frankford Line & get off at the 5th Street Station (corner of 5th & Market), and walk 2 blocks south on 5th and then turn right on Walnut Street and walk 2 blocks west. With PATCO, just get off at the 9th-10th & Locust stop and walk 3 blocks east & 1 block north. For those who are driving, I'd suggest parking in the Washington Square parking deck at 249 S 6th Street which is just a half block away.

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HAS THE INTERNET RUINED ROMANCE & RELATIONSHIPS?

...OR IS THIS JUST A "CYBER-SEX PANIC"?

INTRODUCTION:

In this group discussion, we'll team up with the "Skeptics in the Pub" meetup and explore a range of allegations about the supposedly negative effects that the internet and smart phones are having on our society's sexual norms, dating habits, and marriage & divorce rates.

In the first section, we'll explore the social & psychological effects of widespread free pornography on the internet. We'll look at allegations that porn is addictive, that it harms romantic relationships, and promotes sexual objectification of women.

In the second section, we'll look at claims that online dating sites & hookup apps have created a dramatic decline in committed dating - a.k.a. the "dating apocalypse" - and replaced it with a "hookup culture" of casual sex, open relationships, and exploitative arrangements like "sugar dating". We'll also examine the oft-heard claim that social media & online dating sites present too much temptation for monogamous couples and has increased cheating, breakups & divorces.

In the third section, we'll look at parental fears that the internet has stolen children's sexual innocence by exposing them to a decadent "raunch culture", and that smart phones have bypassed parental supervision & encouraged an underage "sexting epidemic".

In the fourth section, we'll consider the seemingly contradictory claim that the internet has created a decline in sexual activity among Millennials - a.k.a. the "sex recession". As we'll see, some technology critics allege that this is indicative of a broader shift away from face-to-face interaction & relationship formation that could pose problem for our society, perhapeven leading to a "demographic death spiral".

In all four sections, our main goal will be to try to separate the facts from the media spin, and we'll try to identify whether or not the news media has generated a "cyber-sex panic" (my term) on these issues. Essentially, we're asking if our society might be in the grips of a "moral panic" - i.e. a form mass hysteria that causes people to overestimate certain kinds of dangers - in this case, the dangers posed by the internet & smart phones to our sexual norms.

We'll also address the ethical issues underlying the political debates about when, if ever, the government should intervene to promote a specific view of sexual morality and/or to try to alleviate negative social side-effects of disruptive technologies, such as declining marriage rates & birth rates.

RELEVANT MATERIAL FROM PAST MEETUPS:

Back in July of 2017, we had a meetup entitled "The Economics of Sex" which addressed some current political debates surrounding sexual norms, dating & marriage from an economic & game theoretical perspective. We looked at how birth control split the dating & marriage markets, why the odds of finding a suitable mate declines over time, and how one's "sexual market value" is affected by 4 factors: beauty, age, socio-economic status, and race.
https://www.meetup.com/Philadelphia-Political-Agnostics/events/wxsktmywkbmb/

Then in August of 2017, we had a meetup entitled, "Sex, Demographics & Declinism" where we discussed concerns over how marriage & child-rearing has been delayed for white collar workers, how the marriage rate has declined for blue collar workers, how the divorce rate has declined but remained relatively high, and how birth rates in the US are teetering on the brink of sub-replacement rates, leading to a demographic decline that can only be prevented through mass immigration.
https://www.meetup.com/Philadelphia-Political-Agnostics/events/241373059/

Back in March of 2018, we had a meetup entitled "Understanding Gender-Based Violence" where we discussed the data on sexual assault, domestic violence, sexual harassment in the workplace, and some broader concerns about the effects of "raunch culture" (e.g. porn, sexually explicit music, strip clubs, etc.) on the rates of violence against women.
https://www.meetup.com/Philadelphia-Political-Agnostics/events/xvbrznyxgbmc/

Back in June of 2018, we discussed the research on different parenting methods, most of which suggests their effects are exaggerated. This may relate to the concerns about child-rearing in the internet age we'll discuss in Section 3:
https://www.meetup.com/Philadelphia-Political-Agnostics/events/251066458/

Back in March of this year, we discussed the factors behind the alleged depression & loneliness "epidemics" which could be related to the "sex recession" we'll discussion in Section 4:
https://www.meetup.com/Philadelphia-Political-Agnostics/events/wpjnnqyzdbwb/

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DIRECTIONS ON HOW TO PREPARE FOR OUR DISCUSSION:

The videos & articles you see linked below are intended to give you a basic overview of some of the major debates over the effects of the internet & smart phones on our society's sexual norms, and dating & marriage patterns.

As usual, I certainly don't expect you to read all the articles & watch all the videos prior to attending our discussion. The easiest way to prepare for our discussion is to just watch the numbered videos linked under each section - the videos come to about about 44 minutes total. The articles marked with asterisks are just there to supply additional details. You can browse and look at whichever ones you want, but don't worry - we'll cover the stuff you missed in our discussion.

In terms of the discussion format, my general idea is that we'll address the topics in the order presented. As you can see, I've listed some questions under each section to stimulate discussion. We'll try to answer most of them. I figure we'll spend about 30 minutes on each section.

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I. INTERNET PORN ADDICTION & PORN'S EFFECTS ON SEXUAL NORMS & RELATIONSHIPS:

  • IS THERE ANY EVIDENCE TO SUGGEST THAT THE UBIQUITY OF INTERNET PORN HAS CHANGED SEXUAL NORMS OR INCREASED SEXISM & MISOGYNY?

  • IS PORN PSYCHOLOGICALLY ADDICTIVE? IF SO, DOES PORN ADDICTION CAUSE NEUROLOGICAL CHANGES & ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION IN MEN, OR DOES IT MERELY WASTE TIME & MONEY?

  • DOES PORN USAGE HARM RELATIONSHIPS? IF SO, IS IT BECAUSE IT'S VIEWED BY SOME AS "SINFUL" AND/OR "VIRTUAL CHEATING" OR BECAUSE IT BECOMES A SUBSTITUTE FOR SEXUAL INTIMACY?

  • IS THERE ENOUGH EVIDENCE TO SUGGEST THAT PORN ADDICTION IS AN "EPIDEMIC", OR ARE THESE FEARS PART OF AN IRRATIONAL "PORN PANIC" THAT RESEMBLES THE "SOCIAL HYGIENE" & ANTI-MASTURBATION CAMPAIGNS OF THE LATE 19th CENTURY?

  • HAS RESEARCH ON PORN BEEN DISTORTED BY THE FEMINIST VIEWS OF PSYCHOLOGISTS & THE RELIGIOUS VIEWS OF CONSERVATIVE ORGS LIKE "FIGHT THE NEW DRUG"?

  • SHOULD THE 1st AMENDMENT CONTINUE TO HAVE AN EXCEPTION FOR BANS ON "OBSCENITY" BASED ON THE "COMMUNITY STANDARD"? IF SO, SHOULD THAT MERELY APPLY TO BUSINESSES LIKE STRIP CLUBS & SEX SHOPS, OR ALSO TO ONLINE PORN VIEWED IN THE PRIVACY OF ONE'S HOME?

  • IS THERE A MORAL JUSTIFICATION FOR STATE INTERVENTION IN THE INTERNET'S DISTRIBUTION OF PORNOGRAPHY, BESIDES MAKING SURE ACTORS ARE OF LEGAL AGE & ALL ACTIVITY IS CONSENSUAL?

  • IS THE UK'S NEW "PORN BLOCK" LAW A MODERATE SOLUTION, SINCE IT FOCUSES ON ENSURING MINORS AREN'T VIEWING PORN BUT ALLOW ADULTS TO OPT IN? OR IS IT AN INVASION OF PRIVACY?

  • IS WEBCAMMING A BETTER, NON-EXPLOITATIVE ALTERNATIVE TO THE PORN INDUSTRY?

1a) Laci Green, "Is Porn Addictive?" (video - 6:14 min.)
https://youtu.be/EBSG98qzaPc

1b) Nat'l Center on Sexual Exploitation, "Is Distributing Pornography Illegal? Obscenity Law Explained." (video - 2:11 min.)
https://youtu.be/5Tyne1JM-QY

1c) Mike Harris, "The UK Porn Block is a Massive Privacy Threat!" (video - 3:48 min.)
https://youtu.be/R2z5XteweA0

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II. ONLINE DATING & THE PANICS OVER HOOKUP CULTURE, STDs, SUGAR DATING & CYBER-INFIDELITY:

  • HOW HAVE THE OVERALL MARRIAGE & DIVORCE RATES SHIFTED OVER THE LAST 20 YEARS? CAN WE DISCERN THE EFFECTS OF THE INTERNET ON THESE TRENDS?

  • HAVE ONLINE DATING SITES LED TO A "PARADOX OF CHOICE" AND HURT YOUNG PEOPLE'S CHANCES OF DEVELOPING SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS, OR HAS IT HELPED MORE PEOPLE FIND POTENTIAL MATES?

  • DO HOOKUP APPS LIKE TINDER LEAD TO "COMMODIFICATION" OF POTENTIAL DATES? IF SO, COULD APPS HELP BY DEEMPHASIZING PICS & LOSING THE SWIPE FEATURE?

  • DOES ONLINE DATING LEAD TO TOO MUCH "ASSORTATIVE MATING" AS TYLER COWEN SUGGESTS? WOULD SOCIETY BE BETTER OFF WITH MORE CROSS-CLASS MARRIAGES? HAS ONLINE DATING COMPENSATED BY LEADING TO MORE DATING BETWEEN PEOPLE IN SEPARATE SOCIAL CIRCLES & BOOSTING INTER-RACIAL DATING?

  • IS "HOOKUP CULTURE" - I.E. CASUAL SEX WITH STRANGERS & ACQUAINTANCES - A GROWING PHENOMENON DUE TO "HOOKUP APPS" LIKE TINDER & A LOOSENING OF SEXUAL MORES?

  • HAVE DATING SITES LED TO AN INCREASE IN STDs? IF SO, WOULD THIS CONSTITURE A PUBLIC HEALTH ISSUE THAT WOULD JUSTIFT GOV'T INTERVENTION?

  • IS "SUGAR DATING" - WEALTHY MEN FINANCIALLY SUPPORTING YOUNGER GIRLFRIENDS - INCREASING IN THE U.S. DUE TO ECONOMIC PRESSURES (E.G. STUDENT LOANS)? HAS THE INTERNET FACILITATED "SUGAR DATING" LEADING TO AN OVERALL INCREASE, OR HAS IT JUST SHIFTED ONLINE?

  • IS "SUGAR DATING" EXPLOITATIVE & SOMETHING THE GOV'T SHOULD OUTLAW AS COMPARABLE TO PROSTITUTION, OR SHOULD CONSENTING ADULTS BE LEFT ALONE?

  • HAS THE RATE OF CHEATING & MARITAL INFIDELITY INCREASED? IF SO, IS IT DUE TO THE TEMPTATIONS OF HOOKUP APPS & SITES LIKE THE (NOW DEFUNCT) ASHLEY MADISON? OR DO SOCIAL MEDIA SITES LIKE FACEBOOK POSE THE GREATER RISK DUE TO ITS PLAUSIBLE DENIABILITY & THE EASE OF RECONNECTING WITH OLD FLAMES?

2a) The Economist, "Online dating and its global impact" (video - 3:49 min.)
https://youtu.be/3qPlglxzt5c

2b) NY Mag, "Is 'Hook-Up Culture' Real?" (video - 2:31 min.)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PtQx-rhsnJU

2c) CNN w/ Roland Martin, "Online Infidelity: Facebook Is Not The Issue, There Is A Problem In The Marriage" (video - 2:54 min.)
https://youtu.be/BSxM8DvgwUA

2d) ABC10, "Millennials aren't getting married, but they are preventing divorce" (video - 0:46 min.)
https://youtu.be/X8lM5a9HucA

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III. TEEN INTERNET USE, "RAUNCH CULTURE" & THE ALLEGED "SEXTING EPIDEMIC":

  • WHAT DO WE KNOW ABOUT YOUNG PEOPLE'S VIEWS ABOUT SEX & DATING? IS THERE EVIDENCE OF ANY MAJOR SHIFTS RECENTLY?

  • ARE TODAY'S GIRLS BEING CORRUPTED BY A CELEBRITY "RAUNCH CULTURE" THAT ENCOURAGES SELF-OBJECTIFICATION & SEXUAL PROMISCUITY, AS ARIEL LEVY WARNED IN 2005? OR HAVE "TEEN MOM" SHOWS ACTUALLY SCARED THEM AWAY FROM SEX?

  • WHY HAS THE TEEN PREGNANCY RATE DECLINED SINCE THE 1990s? ARE TODAY'S TEENS HAVING LESS SEX OR MERELY BETTER ABOUT USING BIRTH CONTROL?

  • IS IT TRUE TODAY'S TEENS ARE PUTTING OFF DATING, DRIVING & DRINKING? IF SO, IS IT MORE DUE TO OVER-PROTECTIVE "HELICOPTER PARENTS" OR BECAUSE THEY'D PREFER TO INTERACT ONLINE?

  • HAVE SMART PHONES CONTRIBUTED TO A WEAKENING OF PARENTAL SUPERVISION, OR HAVE TRACKING APPS TURNED THEM INTO "ELECTRONIC LEASHES"?

  • HAVE "SEXTING" & NUDE SELFIES BECOME COMMON AMONG TEENS? IF SO, HAS IT MADE BLACKMAIL & "REVENGE PORN" A SERIOUS THREAT?

  • SHOULD WE ALTER PORN DISTRIBUTION LAWS SO VOLUNTARY SEXTING BETWEEN MINORS DOESN'T LEAD TO FELONY CHARGES?

  • ARE RECENT FEARS ABOUT A "SEXTING EPIDEMIC" SIMILAR TO THE URBAN LEGENDS ABOUT "RAINBOW PARTIES" & "SHAG BANDS" IN THE 2000s?

3a) CBS w/ Jean Twenge, "iGen author on why today's kids are developing more slowly" (video - 5:00 min.)
https://youtu.be/E8oBrmlIZe8

3b) Newsy, "U.S. Teen Pregnancy, Abortion Rates Continue To Decline" (video - 2:18 min.)
https://youtu.be/UgpHQqVZrFg

3c) Seeker, "Why Sexting Is So Common Among Teens" (video - 3:19 min.)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CQq7na2cKWA

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IV. THE MILLENNIAL "SEX RECESSION" AND FEARS OF "INCELS" & DEMOGRAPHIC DECLINE:

  • DO POLLS REALLY SHOW THAT MILLENNIALS ARE REPORTING LESS SEXUAL ACTIVITY THAN PREVIOUS GENERATIONS?

  • TO THE EXTENT THAT MILLENNIALS ARE ACTUALLY HAVING LESS SEX, IS IT MORE LIKELY TO BE DUE TO LESS FACE-TO-FACE SOCIALIZING DUE TO ONLINE DISTRACTIONS (INCL. PORN)? OR IS IT MORE LIKELY DUE TO OTHER FACTORS, LIKE ECONOMIC CONSTRAINTS & LIVING AT HOME OR LOWER LIBIDOS DUE TO OBESITY & SSRIs?

  • ARE RATES OF "INVOLUNTARY CELIBACY" INCREASING? IF SO, IS IT DUE TO FEMALE HYPERGAMY (CHASING ALPHA MALES) AS MANY MALE "INCELS" ALLEGE? OR COULD IT JUST BE THE RESULT OF SOCIAL FACTORS THAT ARE NOBODY'S FAULT?

  • SHOULD "ATTRACTION INEQUALITY" BE A SOCIAL JUSTICE CONCERN? WOULD LEGALIZING PROSTITUTION BE A GOOD WAY TO HELP INCELS, OR WOULD IT BE BETTER TO SOMEHOW PROMOTE MONOGAMY?

  • ARE BIRTH RATES AMONG MILLENNIALS LOW BECAUSE OF THE "SEX RECESSION" OR BECAUSE OF DELAYED MARRIAGE & FINANCIAL CONSTRAINTS THAT DISINCENTIVIZE CHILD-BEARING?

  • ARE BIRTH RATES LOW ENOUGH TO JUSTIFY FEARS THAT WE'RE TEETERING ON THE BRINK OF A "DEMOGRAPHIC DEATH SPIRAL"?

4a) CBS, "Behind declining U.S. birth rates, romantic reckoning after #MeToo" (video - 4:04 min.)
https://youtu.be/DoGEwZpUYxw

4b) France 24 w/ Lissa Lincoln, "What is the 'incel' movement and how representative are they?" (video - 6:26 min.)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GnjJ2NUY3AA

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