What we're about



Hello Seattle Polyamory Under 40, to all the returning members and all of the new members who joined this group during the pandemic hiatus. I, Taylor, Ashley, and Iz are happy to welcome you all back to a group that is ready to host events once again! I would like to give a quick introduction to anyone who would like to know what we are about and our principals on event hosting during Covid, but for anyone who would like to skip ahead we are posting our guidelines for event organizers and members to follow below!


This group is a community organization that creates spaces and opportunities for non-monogamous people to meet, form relationships, and have fun together. This is a bottom-up organization, meaning that nearly all of our events and activities are planned and hosted by the members themselves, including the co-organizer team. With the exception of two regularly scheduled monthly meetups (that will be on hold for the foreseeable future), we rely on ordinary members who are willing to become event organizers and plan and host their own events. This means that we co-organizers are committed to empowering the event organizers in whatever ways we are able, to ensure that the organizers and members alike feel safe, respected, and free to have fun in whatever ways they see fit.


By June 30th, Washington State will be dropping its mask mandate for vaccinated people indoors and will otherwise allow all venues to re-open in some capacity. With that in mind, we feel comfortable opening our own group back up and trusting our members to do what's right for them and each other. While it's great that we are the first city to have reached 70% vaccination and are living in arguably the safest metro area in the country, we have to remember that Covid has not gone away, not everyone is vaccinated or is able to be vaccinated, and that some of us have children or other at-risk people living with us at home. We still need to stay vigilant and safe and to use our best judgement when hosting and attending events.


First and foremost, we want to support and empower our event organizers. This means that we will respect the requirements, limitations, or lack thereof that any event organizer sets for their events. Members are free to attend or not attend an event based on their own level of comfort, but the final say will come down to those hosting. Please feel free to start a conversation if you have requests or concerns for any hosted events but keep it respectful and do not pick fights with each other. We want to make event hosting a seamless process and we are willing to deal with the more complicated realities of post-pandemic hosting so you don't have to.


The last year has seen the pandemic, safety, and vaccination become divisive and political issues. Please feel free to speak your mind with empathy and respect for your fellow members. Please do not use this group space as a means for harassing or demeaning other members. You are free to have the opinions that you have and we will not moderate the group based on what we perceive to be the rightness or wrongness of ideas surrounding Covid. We will be moderating based on behavior toward each other. If you feel that anyone in the group is violating our rules regarding abuse or harassment, please contact one of the co-organizers immediately. I'm happy to say that this is not a concern that I have, since I've seen this group be nothing but good to each other for going on six years now, but it bears repeating that this is a hard time for all of us and we need each other now more than ever.


* Assume that with any event, indoor or outdoor, you are at risk for exposure and act accordingly. We will be more or less using the honor system, which means that we are asking people to keep following Washington State guidelines and to respect event organizers' requests regarding masks and vaccination status.

* If you have people in your life who are at risk, perhaps it is better for now to limit attendance to outdoor events or indoor events in which all members have agreed to share their vaccination status.

* Do host events outside! We are lucky enough to be opening back up during a beautiful summer and we should absolutely take advantage of this while we can. Outdoors is the safest and easiest way to get an event going, whether it's hiking, biking, a picnic, or any other activity you can think of.

* Do host small events indoors, but be mindful of public health best practices and Washington State guidelines. Limit these gatherings to 10 people in size for now.

* Events may be hosted in public spaces indoors, like concert venues or dance bars once the state opens back up. These events don't have size limitations, with large enough groups of strangers you are assuming the same level of risk as if you were in this space by yourself. Attendees should be responsible to themselves and follow state guidelines for these events.

* Do post your limitations or requirements clearly in the event posting. You may ask that people wear masks, you may ask people to show proof of vaccination, you may host events with no restrictions; the discretion is with the event organizers.

* Don't change things up during the event, don't surprise people by being more or less restrictive. Clarity and consistency is key in keeping each other safe and comfortable.

* If you are uncomfortable attending an event because it is too lax or too restrictive for your needs, you may ask the organizer to accomodate you and they may choose to do so or not do so. Ultimately it is their choice to host as they see fit and it is your choice to attend.

* If you do not see events that you are comfortable attending, we absolutely encourage you to make your own events since there will almost certainly be people who feel similarly.

We all have to trust each other and be responsible to each other. If you are unvaccinated, please wear a mask while indoors in accordance with Washington State guidelines. Please keep in mind that some people cannot be vaccinated for medical reasons, so do not press your fellow members about their status or their reasoning behind it. Be respectful in everything that you do and keep in mind that we're all a little confused and are doing the best we can to reacclimate to normal life after what has been perhaps the hardest year in everyone's lives. Be here for each other and use your best judgement in everything that you do.


Polyamory is the idea, identity, or practice of engaging in (or openness to) multiple romantic relationships at the same time, with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved. It is distinct from monogamy, infidelity, swinging, etc. This group exists to provide community to young polyamorous-identified folks. If you are currently more curious than polyamorous, the internet or other meetups are good places to start.

SPU40 strives to create a welcoming environment for all people attending. All events are meant to be free of discrimination or judgment of any kind and create friendly, open, and zero-pressure atmospheres for its attendees. We do require that you be between 18 and 40 in order to join. Over-40 partners of members may attend as guests.

While some of us are out and proud about our polyamorous identity, not everyone has that luxury. Please keep in mind that for the well-being and safety of our members, we insist that you do not expose, reveal the membership of, publish photos of, or otherwise out any members in the group without their explicit consent.

We have a very strict "no meat-market" policy and will get very, very grumpy if you join our group just to cruise - not all members are necessarily looking for partners via this Meetup. Boundaries are rad, and if someone sets one we're all going to respect that. If we hear you are not respecting them, you will be shown the door.

Does this mean you can't date other SPU40 members? Absolutely not! It just means that if you are interested in doing so, be a respectful human being. The main goal of the meetup is to chat with, learn from, and have fun with other polyamorous folks. If an organic spark happens to develop out of that, well hey, good for you!

We have many different events (socials, karaoke, rock climbing, book clubs, nature outings), and you are welcome to RSVP for any random one you please (our New Member Meet and Greet is not mandatory). Our events will include people all over the polyamory spectrum, from polyamorous for decades to just starting out.

Interested in creating your own SPU40 event? Need to report someone that's giving you some icky vibes? Think we could be doing something better? Talk to the organizers, because we really want to hear from our people!

You can join the Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/groups/196013077435058/) to talk about the group, potential plans, or polyamory in general. The message board has a pinned post with media resources and more.

Thank you so much for your interest in joining, and we hope to see you at one of our events!

Past events (421)

Book Club - Sex at Dawn (chapters 15-19)

Location visible to members

Book Club - Sex at Dawn (chapters 11-14)

Location visible to members

Discussions (0)

This content is available only to members

Members (1,636)

This content is available only to members