What we're about
Come learn, play, and grow with us!
SexPositive San Francisco ("SPSF") was started by Weston Grey on April 26, 2015, and is a sister group to SexPositive Reno, which Weston Grey also organized in early 2013. SPSF is a warm, friendly, and open-minded group of adults ( i.e. 18+) who believe that sexual energy is a powerful tool for transformation, healing, solidifying relationships, and building community, and we develop that energy by sharing ideas and experiences in real world and virtual settings.
***PLEASE NOTE: We are a LOCAL group. ALL of our members currently reside in the San Francisco Bay Area. We DO NOT accept members who do not live in northern California because they are unable to be regular, active members who contribute to the group.
WHAT IS SEX POSITIVITY?
Sex positivity is a social movement and philosophy which regards all consensual expressions of sexuality as healthy, encourages sexual pleasure and experimentation, places an emphasis on informed consent and advocates sex education, and risk-awareness. Sex-positivity makes no moral distinctions among types of sexual expression, orientation, or identification among consenting adults, rather it regards these choices as matters of personal preference. Sex positivity is affirming of the various ways sex can be pleasurable, intimate, nurturing, and adventurous between consenting individuals. The sex positive movement encourages the exploration and enjoyment of sex without guilt, shame, or judgment. Along with these principles of embracing all forms of sexual expression, we also emphasize the tenets of consent, respect, and person agency.
SexPositive San Francisco is a safe, judgment-free, place for discussion, education, events, and social interaction. We're NOT a dating site, nor are we a therapy or treatment group. While sexual dysfunction and disorders may possibly be discussed at an event, SPSF's purpose isn't the treatment of addiction, trauma, repressed desires, sexual disorders, or other conditions. Our active sexpositive community members plan, host, and attend SPSF educational seminars and events centered around understanding and exploring all aspects of human sexuality, relationship styles, kink, gender, and orientation. We're comprised of individuals and couples, heterosexuals, gays, lesbians, transsexuals, bi-sexuals, queers, monogamous and polyamorous individuals, asexuals, pansexuals, sapiosexuals, BDSM enthusiasts, kinksters, tantra/sacred sexuality people, swingers, burners, etc... and lovers of all ages. ALL adults are welcome, no matter what your race, gender, sexual orientation, relationship status, or sexual interests. Events offered by SPSF are led by a variety of hosts, many of whom are SPSF "partners". The format of each event varies. We encourage you to carefully read the event description, and ask questions, before deciding whether an event is for you. Some events are discussion based, and others may require participation. Several may also involve consensual touch. We have a level system that dictates who can attend a particular event and also indicates the maximum level of activity that may take place at any particular event.
If this interests you, then carefully read the rest of this page. When you're done, go ahead and complete your Membership Application Profile. We're a real group of individuals who seek to build a community. Accordingly, we require applicants to answer a few brief questions that are designed to elicit unique information about each member. These questions are carefully reviewed by SPSF's Membership Team. We also require a photo of yourself which clearly shows your face. PLEASE NOTE: If there are problems with your Membership Application Profile, we will send you an email requesting that you make revisions. Accordingly, please check your email shortly after you submit it. You cannot make revisions to your Membership Application Profile after you submit it for review and approval. We also cannot make revisions to your Membership Application Profile. Therefore, if we require revisions, we will have no other choice but to decline your Membership Application Profile so that you're able to reapply after making the requested changes. Please don't take it personally.
4 REQUIREMENTS IN ORDER TO BE CONSIDERED FOR MEMBERSHIP IN SPSF, AND TO ATTEND EVENTS HOSTED BY SPSF:
(1) You CURRENTLY RESIDE in the SAN FRANCISCO BAY AREA, or Northern California (a northern California city should be reflected on your meetup.com Profile) - we seek active, local, members who have the ability to attend some events, not voyeurs.
(2) You responded to ALL of the PROFILE QUESTIONS posed by SPSF, including subparts. Please answer the questions thoroughly and thoughtfully, in complete sentences i.e. ONE WORD RESPONSES will NOT suffice. We want enthusiastic members, who are willing to take a few minutes of their time, to tell us a little bit about themselves. We actually read your answers, and we WILL automatically decline Applications based on inadequate, or partial, answers. Our meetup group is "private" which means that only members can see the events posted, or our membership list. Your answers will only be visible to members of SPSF, NOT meetup.com individuals who are not members of SPSF.
(A) COUPLES MUST complete 2 separate Profiles/Questionnaires. Each individual member must have their own Profile. Please reference your partner in your Profiles so that we know you're a couple.
(B) OLD MEMBERS (i.e. those members who joined prior to June 2016) who have already paid their annual membership dues, but still have not completed their Profile Questions, WILL NOT be allowed to attend events until they complete the questions. They will be placed on the Waitlist for all events that they RSVP to.
(3) You posted a PROFILE PHOTO which CLEARLY shows your FACE (i.e. not a photo of a cartoon character, an object, or place, or someone who is not you), that remains on your Profile at all times, not merely while awaiting membership approval. We require a recognizable photo of you on your Profile. It is MANDATORY. We must be able to recognize and identify you at our meetups. This is for safety reasons. In addition, our members want to actually connect with one another and build friendships/relationships. That's impossible if someone refuses to post a Profile Photo of himself/herself. These Profile Photos can ONLY be seen by members of SPSF. If you have issues with the requirement to post a Profile Photo that clearly shows your face, perhaps you should re-think whether this is the right group for you. We don't have any anonymous members.
WE SEEK DIVERSITY!!! We welcome individuals of all races, genders, and sexual orientations. If you identify as "female," please seriously consider becoming a SPSF member, and tell your female friends about us. We currently have several members who identify as female, but we're actively trying to increase the number of females who join our group, in order to achieve more balance, since we receive so many male applicants. We have no trouble attracting "male" identifying members.
We receive far more membership applications from single heterosexual men than we receive from any other subgroup. Accordingly, we're more selective when it comes to single, heterosexual, men. If that describes you, please don’t let that discourage you from becoming a member. Just make sure you give detailed answers when filling out your Profile/Questionnaire, and give us enough information about yourself so that we can make an informed decision regarding your membership. As we stated above, profiles that are filled out incompletely, or provide the bare minimum, with answers that provide no insight into who the applicant is, will be automatically declined.
(4) You paid ANNUAL MEMBERSHIP DUES: in the amount of $15.00 per membership year. When you sign up, you will have a 14-day TRIAL PERIOD. During this time, you can RSVP and attend events without paying the $15 membership fee. When the TRIAL PERIOD has expired, you will no longer be able to RSVP or attend events without paying the annual membership dues. After a GRACE PERIOD of 30 days from your join date, if you have not paid the $15 annual fee, you will be dropped from the group. The annual membership fee is NON-REFUNDABLE. This fee is used to offset the cost to run the meetup. Meetup.com charges a registration fee for the right to operate SPSF on meetup.com.
WHAT DOES OUR GROUP DO?
SexPositive San Francisco is a real community of open-minded, alive, and awake people (members and volunteers). We provide a chance to explore, learn, and grow in a safe, welcoming, and consensual environment. We believe that sexual energy is a powerful tool for transformation, healing, solidifying relationships, and building community, and we develop that energy by sharing ideas and experiences in real world and virtual settings (Facebook community page, secret Facebook Group, Twitter, Instagram, and other social media.) Our real world events include classes, discussion groups, workshops, socials, parties, movie nights, festivals, and more. They range from member hosted events (in homes, parks, restaurants, rented space, etc.), outings together where we might go watch burlesque shows, sexpositive theater, LGBTQ parades, or visit a dungeon or club together, to signature events (facilitated events like our cuddles and couple/triads massages) that are created by SPSF and led by its core volunteers. We strive to keep events free or at low cost (enough to cover expenses) when possible, but we sometimes do fundraisers, which may cost a little more.
WHO IS WELCOME?
Any adult, (18 and over) who shares our philosophy and has a desire to teach or learn about the complexities of human sexuality is welcome to attend. You must be a member of this meetup group to participate. Both single individuals AND couples are welcome.
TYPES OF EVENTS:
Events are coded Level 1 through Level 4. In summary:
• Level 1 is Social/Educational (workshops, classes, cocktail mixers, burlesque shows, plays, etc.)
• Level 2 is Sensual (cuddles, sensual workshops; group massage, movie nights, sensation play: consensual touch that is nurturing and affectionate; some nudity possible.)
• Level 3 is Sexy (sensual massages, play parties, etc: more arousing consensual touch, teasing, and excitement with clearly stated limits; some nudity likely.)
• Level 4 is Sexual (themed play parties,and other events; PLEASE NOTE: we never post these events on meetup.com due to their rules regarding certain event postings.)
ORIENTATION and LEVEL SYSTEM:
Level 1 events are open to all members, and non-members alike. Whereas Level 2 events require attending an Orientation and a few Level 1 events, as well as payment of $15 in annual dues. Orientation is an event that introduces our ideas and mission, explains how our group and events work, and includes some fun interactive exercises. These occur approximately once a month.
To attend level 3 or 4 events, you must have attended several events at the previous level AND be approved by the Leadership Team (we have to know that you are great with boundaries - yours and others - and can take care of yourself and others). We provide more details regarding progressing from one level to another after you become a member of SPSF.
The posted level indicates the maximum level of activity which may take place at an event. But, know that you are NEVER expected to do anything that is not a, “Hell Yes!” no matter what level event you attend, no matter what anyone else is doing, and no matter what you may have done previously with that person or with another person. No is no, and all activity must be fully consensual.
Please note that YOU NEVER have to go to level 2-4 events. Many members enjoy and learn a tremendous amount at level 1 events for years! It is also possible that your L2-4 status can be revoked if there are any complaints, or we notice you struggling with boundaries or consent. Please respect the Leadership Team's wisdom and discretion with this. We are trying to sure we have a safe, fun and functioning community!
WHAT TYPE OF BEHAVIOR IS EXPECTED OF ME, BOTH ONLINE, AND AT EVENTS?
Both online, and at events, you're expected be respectful of the boundaries of other members. We're NOT a "dating" or "hook-up" group. We pride ourselves in protecting the privacy of our members. Accordingly, we firmly ask that you do NOT contact, online or otherwise, SPSF members, that you have NOT met IN PERSON, for any reason. Our members should always feel that SPSF is a safe place. SPSF's membership list should NOT be used for your personal, or financial, benefit. In addition, the fact that someone is a member of SexPositive San Francisco should not be discussed with anyone outside of SPSF, unless you've obtained their express consent to reveal that information. Should someone violate these rules, we ask that members immediately contact one of the SPSF organizers so that we can make sure that the community remains safe and comfortable for all members.
We seek participation by all members of SexPositive San Francisco in order to build community. At events, all activities are done only with your consent. You may withdraw at any time. All members and hosts are required to respect the boundaries and behavioral guidelines set for the group experience, as well as specific choices of individuals they connect with. At every point within any event you attend, you are expected to take care of yourself, and honor your boundaries and agreements, whatever they may be. Asking for what you want, saying “No” or asking for things to be changed or slowed down is your responsibility, if you are not comfortable with what is happening. Remember that no one can read your mind. Members won’t know what you need unless you ask. That said, the host can help you if asked, and the event will also include helpful exercises and guidance to support your comfort level. Beyond that, anything else is up to you. You will never be expected to do anything you don't want to, or to interact with anyone you don’t wish to. But we do expect you to contribute as an active participant through positive social interaction. Sex-positivity is about authentic, respectful, open communication, and being honest about your desires.
Meeting new people can be great fun, but at the same time we encourage you to do it safely. As would be appropriate with any community group, please exercise caution and due diligence with respect to who you share personal information with, and who you meet with privately, which you do entirely at your own risk.
We look forward to seeing you at an event soon!