What we're about

Welcome to SexPostive San Francisco! We've been proudly supporting the SexPositive community in the Bay Area since 2015

SexPositive San Francisco is a safe space for people of all experience levels to come together and learn from each other, as well as a place to find like-minded people to connect with. We stress important sex positive concepts like active consent, body acceptance, respect, open sexuality, and tolerance for everyone and where they are in their personal journey. We're an agnostic community that accepts people participating in all legal lifestyle choices (no kids or animals, obviously), including monogamous relationships, open or poly relationships, BDSM, and our asexual friends. We don't judge or pressure members to adopt any specific lifestyle or relationship type.

SexPositive San Francisco attracts a lot of couples and individuals who are curious about various sex positive lifestyles and concepts. We welcome those with questions, as well as those who have been an active part of the community.

SexPositive San Francisco events currently tend to be either discussion groups or social events. The second Thursday of every month is usually dedicated to a group discussion on topics such as What is Sex Positivity, Polyamory, Swinging, BDSM, body acceptance, online dating, and the challenge of the orgasm gap (the fact that women often don't orgasm as often during casual sex as they do in relationship-based sex).

Our rules include:

Consent, consent, consent. Consent is one of the most important aspects of sex positivity. Within the SexPositive community this includes more than just sexual activity; it also includes unsolicited touching, suggestive comments, or aggressive behavior. Our membership includes people with various levels of comfort, and in our efforts to be an inclusive and safe space for everyone, it's very important to seek consent before engaging in any behavior that could create discomfort. This includes forbidding SPSF members from using the group as an alternative to Tinder; please do not send unsolicited private messages to other members; it could get you banned.

Respect for others and acceptance of their choices is a key part of sex positivity. We have members who have had one or two partners in their entire life (and who are happy with that decisions), as well as members who have been with one or two hundred. Both are awesome, and we don't judge. We have members who are masters of BDSM, and others who are just starting to explore the basics. We have monogamous members with no interest in changing their lifestyle, and non-monogamous members who may have dozens of partners a year. (or month). Sex workers are welcome, as are all members of the LGBTQ community. You, as an individual, my not have experience with some of these groups, but we expect all members to treat everyone with respect. We don't shame members for their choices.

Respect for others. Outside of sex, our members can be diverse. So long as they are respecting others and their choices, we hope that you will respect them as well.

What SexPositive SF is NOT:

We are not a group of wild people seeking to jump into bed with you at the drop of a hat. While we're sex positive, most members come to meetings seeking like-minded people, not partners. Of course, connections happen between members, but not if it's obvious that you're here for a single purpose

NO POLITICS! We live in the Bay Area where most people are fairly progressive. However, true diversity comes from accepting people who think differently from you and come from different cultural backgrounds. While it's inevitable that politics creep in from time to time, your hosts will generally gently steer the conversation away from such topics. When we ran Sex Positive Reno, the group had a lot of members from the Mormon community who were seeking to leave behind some of the prohibitions and negative sexual attitudes that they'd been taught growing up. While they were actively trying to change their sexual beliefs, this didn't mean that they were seeking to change their political ones. This is a community for sexual openness, not political discussion.

Your hosts, Diane and Wes, have been active in the SexPositive community since 2012, when they started SexPositive Reno. The two of them have been together for 18 years and have been actively non-monogamous for over 12. Their journey has taken them through several relationship types and lifestyles.

If you're interested in joining our community, please fill out a membership application. We ask that members fill out the form thoughtfully. Once sentence answers are probably not going to cut it. One-word responses will get you denied every time. Please try to get your inner sex-positivity to show through in your answers. It's OK if you're new to sex positivity and are afraid that you don't have the "right" answers. Just tell us why you're interested in the group and what you're seeking. We love members who are new to the community, but we want to make sure you truly are interested in sex positivity.

New Membership Dues (as of August 20)

Due to the sensitive topics discussed at SexPositive San Francisco's events, we have chosen to operate as a closed group. We're thrilled that our membership has grown to nearly 700 people, but we also want to be true to the spirit of protecting everyone's privacy and ensuring that our membership is actively interested in our events.

In that spirit, we're instituting a very small membership dues of $5 a year. While the money will go to things like Meetup.com's annual fees and other expenses, we feel this will also reduce the number of non-active members. You have a 60 trial period, which will give you the opportunity to attend at least one event.

We expect to lose a large portion of our members, but we see that as a positive outcome as we build a more connected and dedicated community.

Please feel free to drop us a line if the new membership dues represent a barrier for attending and we can create exceptions for those who actively participate.

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