*** Before you apply, read the following thoroughly. ***
SexPositive Eugene (SPE) believes that there are a lot of awesome groups out there doing cool stuff; however, our purpose and the spaces we hold are unique. You should not apply for SPE membership if the description below doesn’t resonate strongly with who you are and what you seek.
SPE is intended to be resourceful and educational as well as an opportunity to network and have experiences with others who have a professional or personal desire to be better informed and more experienced in the realm of sexuality. Classes, workshops, outings, and parties endeavor to explore all topics related to sexuality. We also have a private Facebook group that allows members to deepen their connection to each other and to the topic.
What is Sex Positivity? Sex positivity is a philosophy which regards all organic, consensual expressions of sexuality as healthy, encourages sexual pleasure, informed consent, and advocates sex education and risk-awareness. Care, Consent, and Confidentiality are its cornerstones. Sex-positivity makes no moral distinctions among types of sexual expression, orientation or identification, regarding these choices as matters of personal preference. Sex positivity is affirming of the various ways sex can be pleasurable, intimate, nurturing, and adventurous between consenting individuals. (Modified from the definition found in Wikipedia).
SPE is a member of a larger organization, SexPositive World. SPW is a nonprofit 501c3 organization with chapters in Portland, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Nashville, Singapore, and Brusells, just to name a few. They put on numerous large events every year including an annual Chapters Convergence and Polytopia. Check them out at www.sexpositiveworld.com.
When applications aren’t approved, the most common reasons are: 1) Overly brief, incomplete, vague, or generic answers, 2) Indication that the applicant hasn’t read and comprehended what SPE is, does and how it works, 3) Signs that the applicant is seeking something outside of the focus of SPE. Be sure to respond to each item in multi-part questions. Please note that it is sometimes essential to limit the number of single, heterosexual, cis-gendered men as that population applies in far higher numbers than other demographics. We’ve found that there needs to be a balance or the groups don’t work.
Our Mission is: To create educational and experiential opportunities for fellow members that balance safety with freedom, and that promote pleasure, experimentation, and growth.
Our Vision is: A thriving and supportive sex-positive community that influences society and the world.
We value healthy sexuality that is created through autonomy, boundary setting, enthusiastic consent, and pleasure. We are building a community based on direct communication, social justice, connection, fun, and support. We value accessible education focused on experiences and growth, and replacing unhelpful patterns of behavior through a diversity of new ideas.
What we are not:
• A hook-up group, a dating site or a place for swingers to play (not saying that never happens, but it’s not the focus of the group). Those all have a place within sex-positivity, but that is not what we are. If that is what you are looking for, please look elsewhere.
· A dating site for our leadership. We have strict rules about leaders not being able to date or to play with newbies except in a scene or as a demonstration, but that is also limited.
· Trolling is not allowed. Do not contact any member unless you have already received clear unambiguous approval from them to do so, preferably in person,
· A political or social activist organization (we are informed by social justice ideals, however, social activism is not our purpose)
· A therapy or treatment program. While sexual dysfunction and disorders may be discussed, SPE is not intended for treating addiction, trauma, sexual disorders, or other types of mental illness.
· A business. No one makes a profit or even gets paid a real salary, though some functions that can’t be counted on by volunteers can be compensated. NO ONE WILL EVER upsell you on a training or a product! We keep our events low cost or free, with the exception of occasional fundraisers which are also on a sliding scale. In order to maintain this policy, we ask members to pay a very small annual ($35) membership fee after a three-month trial period. If you cannot afford to pay this it can be waived for a time.
· Safe. We do not claim to be able to keep you from having uncomfortable experiences, experience an occasional boundary violation, or to find yourself in a difficult situation. What we do try to do is create a safer environment where people learn to communicate desires, fears, and boundaries, to have the safer sex talk, to learn to negotiate and to respect relationship agreements, and to resolve issues when they arise. We understand that total safety only comes at the expense of freedom and exploration. So if you need to be VERY safe, this group may not be for you.
Before you apply to join, read this:
We are a secret group. That means only members can see your profile.
PLEASE FILL OUT ALL QUESTIONS FULLY AND COMPLETELY. Short answers mean that you have not read this and will be immediately denied.
• Related experience or learning (books, workshops, friendship circles, college classes).
• Enthusiasm and willingness to be a part of a community by volunteering and/or coming out to events regularly.
• We look for emotional maturity, social awareness, good communication skills, and a willingness to grow.
• You must live within 60 miles of Eugene or visit often.
• Diversity and equity are very important to our community. Knowing who is in our group gives us a better idea of how we are doing and how we can improve. Please share some of your identities with us (gender, racial, sexual orientation, and proclivity) to create a vibrant community.
• If you have a common name, please add an initial or last name. We prefer real names, not alias.
• You must be over 21 (25 and over preferably).
• Couples must apply separately. Please reference each other.
• We prefer you have a recognizable photo of your face without anyone else in it.
When you fill out your profile, know that that is what other members will see, so aim to impress, but please be as open and frank as possible.
Sex Positive Eugene events are coded Levels: 1 through 4
Level 1 events are open to all members and non-members alike, whereas level 2 requires attending our Orientation and our class called “Awesome Boundaries”, plus a handful of other events (we need to know you). To attend level 3 or 4 events, you must have attended several events at the previous level AND be approved by the leadership team (we have to know that you are great with boundaries - yours and others - and can take care of yourself and others).
The posted level indicates the maximum level of activity which may take place at an event. But, know that you are NEVER expected to do anything that is not a, “Hell Yes!” no matter what level event you attend, no matter what anyone else is doing, and no matter what you may have done previously with that person or with another person. No is no, and all activity must be fully consensual.
During the posted hours for an event, members must agree to not engage in any activity that exceeds the stated level of the event, it's up to the host to ensure this. Leadership has the responsibility and final decision on whether a member can attend an event, and may refuse inclusion in activities if they decide the member is not ready, qualified or because the type of event requires existing relationships within the community.
Progressing up the levels is not necessary to enjoy the group, many members enjoy and learn SO MUCH at level 1 events for years! Also, for the safety and wellbeing of our community, it is possible that Leadership may decide that you aren't quite ready to progress, and it is strictly up to them to make that determination (please consider taking a turn in leadership to help ensure the safety and wellbeing of the group). It is also possible for your L2+ status to be revoked if there are any complaints or we notice you struggling with boundaries or consent. Please respect the leadership team's wisdom and discretion with this. It is a difficult job, but someone has to do it to ensure we have a safe, fun and functioning community!
Here's an overview of the level system:
Level 1 is Social/Educational: workshops, classes, performances, discussion groups, field trips, socials, activism type stuff (Pride, Slutwalk, etc.)
Level 2 is Sensual: snuggle parties, group massage, sensation play: touch that is nurturing and affectionate without sexual arousal (should you become aroused, excuse yourself and come back when you cool down!)
Level 3 is Sexy: Playing in sexy energy without direct genital contact. Basically an opportunity to practice boundary setting while in a state of arousal.
Level 4 is Community and play. You will learn more about this at Orientation.
We have a way of vetting people and helping them work up the level system. But many people are happy staying at Level 1, 2 or 3.
People tell us our level system is the thing they like the most about our group.
We hope you join us and we look forward to seeing you very soon!