During one of the expats meetup I met two Germans who wanted to improve their English. We became friends and decided to go to a cafe near Hauptbahnhof after the meetup. While deciding which cafe to visit, I had a wild idea of visiting a gay bar nearby because I never been to one. I am neither gay nor I drink alcohol so was curious but had fear of people's judgement and felt bit uncomfortable about the whole thing. Surprisingly, we three had great fun and a night to remember. Nothing big but that led me to do few uncomfortable things everyday. In doing so I realized that the more you push yourself in uncomfortable situations the more fearless and confident you become.
This meetup involves going out and doing things which will make you uncomfortable. Each one of have different fears. Some of the things that can be tried are :
+ lying on the floor on a busy area like Hauptbahnhof for 30 seconds
+ asking strangers to spare some change
+ 10 push ups on crowded street
+ asking phone numbers randomly
+ Hi5 people + complementing people + long awkward silence + and lots more
Are these not senseless things to do? How will these tasks make you confident? Well, there is a psychological concept developed in 1950s called the Exposure therapy, which encourages to do things that scare the hell out of you. There is no better way of conquering your fears than facing them. Once you overcome that fear you become confident about it. Examples like your first time swimming, your first time driving or your first time speaking on stage needs no explanation about fear and it eventually dissappears. Fear is something that exist only in out minds, in reality it doesn't exist. Most people have either fear of social anxiety (what will people say if I do that) or fear of rejection. Self confidence is winning over both of them. We will make ourselves uncomfortable in both ways until that fear surrenders. Let's make the best of our lives and come out of the prison of non existent fear. Check these TED talks: