3/28/12 questions and discussion

1-is it futile to teach good manners?6

2-how will we ever know if we are "brains in a vat?"3

3-is sisyphus happy?4

4-what's the deal with bullying nowadays?4

6-what are the repercussions of a face transplant?3


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What is the most important lesson you have learned?

Tor: the most important lesson is that you are the actor, director, and producer of your own life and most people are not doing what they want. I came here to learn english, in Norway one would never think to call the king, yet after we'd arrived here I called the White House and asked to see the president! I could tell they were amused but we were told we could sit in the stands behind the president as he reviewed a parade. This taught me that one can ask for anything and one just might get it. I once assigned to my graduate students that they write about something they liked. They disappeared into the library and came back with excellent work, interesting work. People should take advantage of the fact that hardly anybody else is doing this.

Jon: no one has ever said no to you, Tor?

Tor:  my students, no. For me, I have gotten no. Still, what is there to lose?

Steve: I was incarcerated as a kid, it gave me a taste of discipline, wised me up. kind of an epiphany.

Danny: hard question. The weak live for today and the strong for tomorrow. From about the age of 11 i literally thought I wouldn't live to see the next year of my life. My environment, lifestyle, tendencies all reflected and supported that assumption. I had experienced death, had a very negative view of life.

Mike: was that troubling for you community/family?

Danny: it began as gang life. My whole environment seemed to say we were living to die. I lived for today, never tomorrow.

Jon: were "tomorrow people" -- people you encountered who could project out a year or more into their lives -- considered fools?

Danny: it was like watching people from a foreign country, but beyond that I had no opinions about them. I saw life as punishment. Death was to be a release. As my outlook got more negative I became a more unpleasant person. Someone doing good didn't make me mad but I did get mad at life.

Kelly: how did you change?

Danny:  I was homeless for 4-5 years, incarcerated, a friend died, something shifted in me. I had an experience with love and my outlook started to change. I realized that the worse it gets the more I can still enjoy the little things. You're riches are in your fragments. I found if there is a hell it's always worse than the earth's worst. I had a victim mind state and would behave angrier. I thought it gave me power but it didn't. I started thinking about patience; I started to see others succeeding and believing I could do those things too (college).

Jon: is this a miracle?

Danny: it was like a blind person given sight. [yes, a miracle]

Mike; was it one event that tipped the change?

Danny: one day at a store counter -- I used to like to be tough as a survival tactic -- I was just out of surgery and wanted to beat up a bigger guy and instead made a choice not to. I let him go because I didn't want someone I cared about to see this happen. That choice started a  positive snowball effect within me. I learned hate is easy, love hard, but worth it. I used to think other people were forcing me to be what I am. 

Art: when in the army in Vietnam I came across a massacre of kids. I decided humans are animals. It was so far from what I could imagine that at first I hallucinated and saw balls where there were actually kids' heads. This taught me that you can't see what you can't believe. When you know one thing really well it transfers to everything else. I'm talking about skills, discipline.

Jeremy: my dad was a very skilled doctor, all else he tried he failed at!

Art: it's about categories, paying attention to details. 

Jeremy: I was helped by a special ed teacher in 11th grade. I couldn't get past the first question on tests so wouldn't pass tests. she told me to be "expedient". Her advice, to be expedient, may be why I finished high school! I thought it novel to lower one's standards as a means to success.

Tor: to get As!

Jeremy: right!

Mike: do you know wherefrom the problem came?

Jeremy: I don't know but I had become very critical of my work. I may have been trying to hide social shortcomings.

Mike: I am profoundly moved by the golden rule.

Kelly: like Danny, the only thing one can really choose is one's attitude. All depends on this. Joy comes in the morning, troubles never last. It's more natural to see light, rather than darkness.



















A How-To List for Dysfunctional Living and Non-Critical thinking:


1. Surround yourself with people who think like you. 
 
2. Don’t question your relationships. You then can avoid dealing with problems within them.

4. If critiqued by a friend or lover, look sad and dejected and say, “I thought you were my friend!” or “I thought you loved me!” 
 
5. When you do something unreasonable, always be ready with an excuse.
 
6. Focus on the negative side of life.

7. Blame others for your mistakes.
 
8. Verbally attack those who criticize you. Then you don’t have to bother listening to what they say. 
 
9. Go along with the groups you are in. Then you won’t have to figure out anything for yourself. 
 
10. Act out when you don’t get what you want. If questioned, look indignant.
 
11. Focus on getting what you want. If questioned, say, “If I don’t look out for number one, who will?”