Codependent No More (POSTPONED)

This time our choice for the Beauty&Books book club is Melody Beattie book “Codependent No More”. This book holds the key to understanding codependency and to unlocking its stultifying hold on your life.
Is someone else’s problem your problem? If, like so many others, you’ve lost sight of your own life in the drama of tending to someone else’s, you may be codependent and you may find yourself in this book. With instructive life stories, personal reflections, exercises and self-tests, “Codependent No More” is a simple, straightforward, readable map of the perplexing world of codependency, charting the path to freedom and a lifetime of healing, hope, and happiness.

If you have read or want to read the book, join us. If you haven’t read the book but you just want to know a bit more about it or you’re interested in the subject. Join us too! As I’ve always said, from the start, I will never force someone to read a book.

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We will start soon to share post and quotes about Beauty&Books!

“Furthermore, worrying about people and problems doesn't help. It doesn’t solve problems, it doesn’t help other people, and it doesn’t help us. It is wasted energy.”
(Melody Beattie, “Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself”)

“We don’t have to take rejection as a reflection of our self-worth. If somebody who is important (or even someone unimportant) to you rejects you or your choices, you are still real, and you are still worth every bit as much as you would be if you had not been rejected. Feel any feelings that go with rejection; talk about your thoughts; but don’t forfeit your self-esteem to another’s disapproval or rejection of who you are or what you have done. Even if the most important person in your world rejects you, you are still real, and you are still okay. If you have done something inappropriate or you need to solve a problem or change a behavior, then take appropriate steps to take care of yourself. But don’t reject yourself, and don’t give so much power to other people’s rejection of you. It isn’t necessary.”
(Melody Beattie, “Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself”)

“Many codependents, at some time in their lives, were true victims—of someone’s abuse, neglect, abandonment, alcoholism, or any number of situations that can victimize people. We were, at some time, truly helpless to protect ourselves or solve our problems. Something came our way, something we didn’t ask for, and it hurt us terribly. That is sad, truly sad. But an even sadder fact is that many of us codependents began to see ourselves as victims. Our painful history repeats itself. As caretakers, we allow people to victimize us, and we participate in our victimization by perpetually rescuing people. Rescuing or caretaking is not an act of love.”
(Melody Beattie, “Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself”)

“We don’t have to take other people’s behaviors as reflections of our self-worth. We don’t have to be embarrassed if someone we love chooses to behave inappropriately. It’s normal to react that way, but we don’t have to continue to feel embarrassed and less than if someone else continues to behave inappropriately. Each person is responsible for his or her behavior.”
(Melody Beattie, “Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself”)

“The formula is simple: In any given situation, detach and ask, “What do I need to do to take care of myself?”
(Melody Beattie, “Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself”)

“We Are Lovable. Even if the most important person in your world rejects you, you are still real, and you are still okay.”
(Melody Beattie, “Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself”