What is this group all about?
This group is about:
- supporting each other as we experience separation and divorce from our spouses, life partners or significant others.
- creating new friendships.
- creating a new social network.
- having fun social events to get you out of the house!
This group is not:
- A dating forum. Dating should NOT be your reason for joining this group.
- A forum for promoting your businesses or services.
- A forum for conversion of others to your political or religious viewpoints.
Our group will communicate through email. You are encouraged to email for support anytime you need to. I am hopeful that we will have a very active email list! Profile
You're encouraged to complete your profile and post a picture of yourself within a week of joining the group. It helps other members to find points of connection. The picture also helps us identify each other at first meetings. Safety
Creating friendships is one of the main goals for our group. We do want to remind you of some basic safety rules. Being so open and sharing experiences with people creates an instant sort of familiarity or intimacy. Please remember that many of us are at very vulnerable stages. Keep these guidelines in mind as you begin to meet people outside of group functions.
- Meet in groups
- Drive yourself
- Pay your own way
- Always let someone know where you are going
- Let others know who you are meeting
- Carry your cell phone
We also do not recommend that you post your contact information (full name, address, phone number) on the message board/email. If you wish to share your contact information, please do it through a private email. You may do this through the meetup website. Find the person's profile. Click on the small envelope by their name to create the email.
Event hosts may share their cell numbers with you in order to facilitate a meetup, but please, do not misread this as an invitation to contact them outside of an event. Dating
As stated earlier, friendship and support is the main focus of our group. That does not mean that dating within the group is not allowed. It is just not the focus of our group. People are not joining this group for the purpose of dating. They are joining it for the purpose of support through the difficulties of separation and divorce.
If you do choose to date within the group, please be aware of each other's vulnerable emotional state. Close friendships are worth so much more than a date gone badly. Treat each other with respect and communicate your intentions and feelings openly. Inactivity
If your account becomes inactive for 30 days, an organizer will send out a private email to you. If there is no response, your account will be removed from the group. Public and Private Events
Everyone is nervous about attending their first event! Just take a deep breath and DO IT! Public Venue Posted Events
These are planned social activities where the entire group is invited. These are posted on the calendar for everyone in the group and require an RSVP. Everyone is encouraged to attend these events. It is at these events that you meet people with common interests or those who are in similar situations. You are encouraged to attend public venue events prior to attending private venue events. Many of these events will be appropriate for family or guests to attend with you. Hosts will post that it is a "Family Friendly" or "Guests Welcome" event. Private Venue Posted Events
On occasion a member will open up their private home for a posted group event. For safety considerations, addresses and phone numbers are not posted. The address of the location for the event and contact phone numbers will be privately emailed to you upon your "YES" RSVP. You are encouraged to attend public venue events prior to attending private venue events. Please be considerate to your host about prompt changes in your RSVP and also contact them if it is appropriate for guests to attend. Non-posted Events
Sometimes these happen through private email, on the message board, or by people who have exchanged phone numbers. Non-posted events are will sometimes be held at a public venue or a private venue. Many times these events are created to meet specific interests or needs. If you choose to host a non-posted event, you are encouraged to think safety. You are encouraged to know the people you are meeting, let others know who is attending, tell others where you are meeting, don't invite unknown persons to your home or meet individuals for the first time unless you're in a group. Please contact the host if it is appropriate for guests to attend with you. Guests
There are many events when it is appropriate for guests to attend an event with you. If you wish to bring a guest, please include them in the RSVP. You may wish to attend some events with your children, family members, or a friend. We ask that the Coffee Clutch be children free. If you would like your child to be involved in the conversation, please let Anne know prior.
There are some events where it may not be as appropriate for guests to attend if they are not part of our group. We will begin to include "Group Only" on those events when they are posted. If you have a question about whether it is appropriate if a guest attends, please ask the person hosting the event. If you RSVP to ANY event, please be polite and change your RSVP if your plans change and you cannot attend. Please be considerate and give the organizer/host enough notice (1- 3 days) when you change your RSVP. Message Board Posting Guidelines
What is the support part of this group? A large part of the support in our group is provided through the ability to email the group at any given point during your day. This builds a very powerful support system.
When posting to the group there are some Do’s and Don’ts.
1. Do be polite. We’re all here for similar reasons. Most of us have been very hurt. A little human kindness and expectation of politeness can go a long way toward making this feel like a safe place to share your thoughts and feelings. A bit of compassion can go a long way toward helping people with life's challenges and reaching out can help alleviate feelings of loneliness.
2. Do use good judgment. To our knowledge no one on this board is an attorney, a psychologist, a counselor or a physician. The information shared on this board is opinion and experiences by its members. Please consult with professionals to meet your legal, medical or mental health needs. Remember that what's right or has worked for one person may not be what's right for you.
3. Do remember that sometimes the best policy is agreeing to disagree. Lively debates and discussions ON TOPIC are encouraged. Be sensitive to when a topic may turn from a discussion to a personal attack or rant. Remember to always be polite during debates or message board exchanges. If a topic of discussion bothers or offends you, delete it and do not respond. Opinions will differ.
4. Do welcome new members. Many of you remember your first post to the message board and how much nerve it took to post into this established group with ongoing conversations. Help new members to feel part of the group.
5. Do use descriptive titles for your posts. Avoid “generic” post subjects like “help” or “question”. Avoid one word responses to emails.
1. Don't respond when you're angry
2. Don’t generalize or stereotype. Generalizations can be hurtful and unfair. We need to avoid statements that stereotype people.
3. Don’t post things that are overtly political or religious in nature OR post things promoting advocacy of a particular personal, medical, legal, religious, political viewpoint. Remember we are here offering mutual support to each other.Warning: Your postings on this public message board will become public. Your text will be available to anyone who joins this group and has an internet connection.Organizers
Being a new group, we only have one organizer. If you are interested in becoming an organizer and helping out, please let Marie know!
Please contact me if you have questions, concerns, or ideas! Welcome to the group!
We think you will find this to be a rich and rewarding experience. Remember, that it is your participation in the group that makes it a success. Plan to attend events. Get involved in the email discussions. Get ready to make some great friends and look forward to having some wonderful experiences!