What we're about
We are a diverse and inclusive group of non-monogamists, polyamorists and relationship anarchists in the Southern Oregon area. We come together in a sex-positive environment to create friendships, community and support of each other as individuals whose identities and lifestyles challenge the mold of monogamous culture. We come from a wide range of backgrounds and welcome long-term poly practitioners as well as those who are just curious or beginning on the poly path for the first time.
What is polyamory?
There are many definitions of polyamory, but basically, it's the practice of having multiple romantic and /or sexual relationships in which everyone has consented to do so. This is not to be confused with polygamy, in which only men are allowed multiple partners and women are not. Polyamory is based on equality, trust, open-ness, and often involves the philosophy that love is infinite and does not need to be restricted to one relationship at a time .
Why attend a polyamory group?
Those who practice polyamory are a very small portion of the population at large. This can lead to many of us feeling alone, isolated, ashamed and insecure about our way of life. A poly group can remind us that we are not alone, that there are people out there who are like us and who have had similar experiences. We can be reminded that healthy, happy polyamorous relationships actually exist. We can gain perspective, friendships, potential partnerships, and network with each other knowing we won't be judged, discriminated against or ridiculed for desiring or having multiple honest relationships. And further, a strong poly community sends a powerful message to the mainstream that we have a right to be just who we are. Simply gathering together in pride and confidence can challenge the many stigmas we face daily and can create positive change and general acceptance of our identities and practices.
WHAT WE ARE NOT:
A dating service or pick-up club.
Although many of us are looking to find new partners, many of us are not. We are forming community based on friendship and trust, and although it may be tempting to explore new connections at our gatherings, it's more appropriate to explore new relationships elsewhere to keep the atmosphere neutral for those who aren't currently seeking. If you meet someone you like, get together with them outside the group to see how you jive together.
A sex/swingers club
There's really no other way of saying this: don't show up to our gatherings expecting to get laid. We don't schedule orgies through this group and we each have our own requirements when choosing partners. Some swingers are poly and vice versa, but this group focuses primarily on the practice of having multiple long-term romantic and sexual partners in which commitment, emotional connection and trust are the focus. There are many gatherings in the area for the purpose of swinging, so find your play partners there.
More enlightened or evolved than monogamous people.
We do not claim that polyamory is superior to monogamy. Many emotional, mental and interpersonal complications can arise in polyamory which is why we do not claim that polyamory is right for everyone all the time . We are not here to "convert" anyone to our way of living. It is our hope that the support we provide each other will strengthen us to live happily and in harmony with a culture that is primarily monogamous without needing to criticize or change how others think or lead their lives.
Cheating or attending without the consent of our partners.
Many people come to polyamory with a history of cheating, but polyamory is based on the consent of everyone involved. If your partners are not OK with you attending, invite them to come along, seek counseling, and/or communicate with them honestly and openly about how you are feeling and what you hope to gain from the experience.
An exclusive club.
We invite anyone over the age of 18 who can conduct themselves in a mature, polite and courteous fashion at all times. We welcome those who are vanilla, kinky, straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, sapiosexual, demisexual, asexual, aromantic, etc. We do not discriminate based on ethnicity, religion, class, gender, gender identity, body type, disability, or marital status. We also understand that there are many ways to practice polyamory. We welcome singles, couples, triads, quads, V's, N's, poly chains, and any other relationship configurations that we haven't mentioned. Although some relationship styles are considered more ethical than others, we choose to engage in healthy dialogue about how to embrace these differences for the sake of our thriving community.
A NOTE ABOUT CONSENT
As it's NOT assumed we're a dating service or a sex club, we require impeccable communication regarding consent at all times. This means if you are inclined to interact with someone or nourish a connection with them, ASK THE PERSON FIRST. The absence of a "No" does not imply a "yes." We do not promote or tolerate the assumption that just because we are poly, we want to be touched, hugged, engage in conversation, have sex or leave the event with anyone. Inappropriate behavior that does not involve consent will result in one's invitation to the group being revoked and /or the involvement of local authorities.
OUR PRIVACY NOTICE
We keep the names of everyone involved confidential and we honor the privacy of our members. Conversations and interactions that take place in the online forum as well as at our in-person gatherings are to stay within the group. This is because many have children, jobs, or other concerns that require them to remain closeted about their poly lifestyles.
Thank you for your interest in the community. We look forward to seeing you at one of our next events.