Another Place for Story and the Heart (Theme: Empathy)

'Stories touch and awaken our hearts and souls. Stories reveal our common humanity in all its colours. Everyone has a story.'

‘Our lives are like pieces of a beautiful tapestry, but we can only recognise the beauty of the tapestry when we put all the pieces together. Each person is a story, a beautiful story, but sometimes a very sad story, and we are all enriched by hearing their story. When we listen attentively to another person’s story, our shared vulnerabilities unite us, and we form a bond which changes or strengthens our relationship to them. We look at them differently, we gaze on them in wonder.’ (Taken from Fr Peter McVerry’s piece in The Empathy Book for Ireland)

‘Most of us grow up in a story. We don’t grow up so much in a house built of bricks and mortar – we are housed in a great story.’ (Taken from Nostos: An Autobiography by John Moriarty)

'A space to tell and listen to stories, our stories.'

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Another Place for Story and the Heart is an online space hosted on Zoom. For each session, I will post a theme in advance to help us tell a piece of our story. Please take note of the theme and follow the instructions below to prepare yourself for the meeting.

THIS WEEK'S THEME:

• EMPATHY: Before the event, I ask participants to reflect on an experience or moment when they felt a sense of empathy. Perhaps they were empathetic towards someone or felt that someone empathised with them. If an experience comes to mind, what were the feelings in the moment? What impact did it have on them? How do they look back on that experience now - what are they left with? The experience should hold personal significance or represent something important. It could be an experience that connects to other stories or aspects of their lives. Participants might find journaling about the experience helpful, using a reflection model such as the Gibbs Reflective Cycle (see here). During the session, I will invite each person to share their story with the group. Each participant will have around five minutes to share, depending on the number of participants. After sharing, there will be time for questions or feedback from others. When asking questions, participants will be encouraged to be led by their curiosity and use open-ended questions (How, What, Who, Where), where possible, to promote deeper thought and richer engagement.
• THE MEANING OF EMPATHY: Empathy is a relatively new word to me, so if it is similar for you, here are a few definitions I found through two online dictionaries and an encyclopedia (namely the Cambridge Dictionary, Merriam-Webster and Wikipedia), as well as two from psychologist and psychotherapist Carl Rogers and one from psychologist and psychotherapist Alfred Adler that may also help you: (1) Empathy is generally described as the ability to take on another person's perspective, to understand, feel, and possibly share and respond to their experience; (2) The ability to share someone else's feelings or experiences by imagining what it would be like to be in that person's situation; (3) The action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another; (4) "The state of empathy, or being empathetic, is to perceive the internal frame of reference of another with accuracy and with the emotional components and meanings which pertain thereto if one was the person" (Carl Rogers); (5) "Empathy says: I'm trying to be a companion to you in your search and your exploration. I want to know, am I with you? Is this the way it seems to you? Is this the thing you're trying to express? Is this the meaning it has for you? So in a sense, I am saying, I'm walking with you step by step, and want to make sure I am with you. Am I with you? So that's a little bit of my understanding about empathy" (Carl Rogers); (6) "Empathy is seeing with the eyes of another, listening with the ears of another and feeling with the heart of another" (Alfred Adler).
• TIME: We will meet at 7pm on Zoom. Please be on time to respect other participants. The link for Zoom can be found on this page.
• IMPORTANT: Please read notes 1-9 below to prepare yourself for the meeting.

Note 1 - Safe Space

Similar to the walking event Wild Walks Into The Heart, in focus and spirit, I aim to provide a supportive, non-judgmental, safe space during the session where people can freely open up about their lives and experiences, as much or as little as they choose to. Anything you share is confidential and shall not be disclosed outside the space. I will go through some guidelines at the beginning of the event.

Note 2 - Theme

If you're unsure about this week's theme, please don't hesitate to ask me for guidance.

Note 3 - Focus and Use of Silence

The focus of these sessions is more on sharing individual experiences, perspectives, and life journeys, rather than fictional tales. In saying that, using metaphor, myth or poetry (and so on) to support the telling of your story is fine, of course.

To support the group's presence, at times, I would like to use silence during the sessions and bring attention to our breathing if time allows. The idea would be that this may also help with transitions.

Note 4 - Donations

Donations are welcome and support the group by going towards Meetup and Zoom costs. I suggest a donation of €2 if you wish to donate. Donations can be made using Revolut or PayPal.

Pay by Revolut - https://revolut.me/davidtbt5

Pay by PayPal - david.mcevoy05@gmail.com (Email address to use)

Note 5 - Structure

I want to stay somewhat flexible on structure, but here is a sample format for the meetings:

• Welcome and Group Guidelines
• Introductions and Ice Breaker
• Time for Sharing and Engagement
• Final Check-in and Feedback

Note 6 - Phones

Please put your phone on silent mode for the duration of the session so we can create a space with fewer distractions.

Note 7 - RSVPs

Please only RSVP if you plan to attend, and update your RSVP to 'Not Going' if you'll be unable to join.

Note 8 - Questions/Feedback

If you have any questions or feedback, please do let me know.

Note 9 - Quotes

SOME QUOTES THAT HAVE INSPIRED THIS EVENT:

‘In our century, for one reason or another, millions and millions of people have fallen out of their traditional story and that is serious because it is above all in a great story that we are housed. And if it is great, the story that houses us will house the stars. Will house our cows, our hens, our pigs, our horse, our ass. Will house leviathan, will house behemoth. Will house tyger, will house lamb.’ (Taken from What the Curlew Said: Nostos Continued by John Moriarty)

‘A story is great when, as we tell it, it tells us. It is great when we emerge from this telling with a deeper and a surer sense of ourselves. There is a sense in which our stories create us…. they aren't only great stories, they are sacred stories. Have you become a great story? Have you, in spite of the moral contagion that infests you, become a sacred story?.’ (John Moriarty - Anaconda Canoe)

‘Have you, instead of bringing home a myth, become a myth that will deepen itself and deepen us every time it is told?’ (John Moriarty)

When story finds a way - ‘But that isn’t the story I know,’ Marilyn said, breaking and yet not breaking an ancient silence in the room. ‘Nor is it the story I knew before I started telling it to you,’ I said. ‘But that’s how it is, isn’t it, with that kind of story. Tell that kind of story with a slack rein, tell it trusting your horse rather than yourself, and it will go its own way - to new insight, even possibly to new revelation.’ (Taken from Nostos: An Autobiography by John Moriarty)