What is Relational Capacity?

## ✨ What is Relational Capacity

Relational capacity isn’t a personality type — it’s a trainable set of abilities that shape how deeply we connect, co-regulate, and repair with one another.
For many autistic / neurodivergent people, these skills were never modeled — yet they can absolutely be learned and strengthened.

This week, we’ll explore nine core relational capacities that form the foundation of secure, mutual connection.

## 🌿 The 9 Relational Capacities

1️⃣ Self-Awareness
Noticing your inner experience — thoughts, feelings, sensations — without overwhelm or self-judgment.

2️⃣ Self-Regulation
Shifting your nervous system toward more balance so connection becomes possible again.

3️⃣ Attunement
Tracking another person’s emotional state with curiosity rather than assumption or analysis.

4️⃣ Reflection
Accurately mirroring what someone shares so they feel understood:
“Here’s what I heard… does that feel true to you?”

5️⃣ Mentalizing / Theory of Mind
Recognizing the other person has a distinct inner world — their own meanings, needs, histories, and interpretations.

6️⃣ Empathic Resonance
Letting yourself be touched by another’s experience without merging, rescuing, or losing yourself.

7️⃣ Boundaried Expression
Communicating needs, limits, and truths clearly and kindly — while honoring the other’s separateness.

8️⃣ Repair Capacity
Seeing when disconnection occurs and moving gently toward repair — naming the rupture, softening, and re-opening.

9️⃣ Mutuality & Reciprocity
Sharing responsibility for connection — give and take, listening and being heard — rather than one person carrying the relational load.

## 💬 Reflection Question for This Meetup

Before we meet, you’re invited to quietly consider:

✨ Which TWO relational capacities feel strongest in me right now?
✨ Which TWO feel weakest or most fragile?

You never need to share unless you choose to — this reflection simply opens awareness.

## 🌱 What to Expect

A warm, low-pressure, neurodivergent-affirming space.
Participation is completely optional — speak, listen quietly, write in the chat, or simply be present.

All ways of showing up are welcome.
Let’s grow these capacities together, gently and intentionally.

## 🕊️ Closing Poem

### Rumi (Jalāl ad-Dīn Muhammad Rūmī, 1207–1273)

Listen with the ear of the heart.
Not everything true can be spoken,
yet everything spoken can be spoken with love.

Where two souls meet in honesty,
a third presence appears —
a quiet light
that holds them both.