Chatter – The psychology of the voice in your head

Introspection - the ability to observe and reflect on oneself - is a good thing, isn’t it? Didn’t Socrates prioritize ‘know thyself’ in his philosophy? But what if your inner voice is a persistent negative critic of yourself, a relentless catastrophizer, an obstinate ruminator? Is that good for your health and relationships?

Book: Chatter – The Voice in Our Head (and How to Harness It) (2021) by Ethan Kross

In our book this month, Ethan Kross, a professor of psychology at the University of Michigan, explores the silent conversations we have with ourselves, particularly negative self-talk. He discusses how such talk has risen dramatically due, in part, to social comparisons evoked by social media. Interweaving behavioural and brain research from his own lab with real-world case studies, Kross explains how these conversations shape our lives, work, and relationships. He warns that giving in to negative and disorienting self-talk - what he calls "chatter" - can tank our health, sink our moods, strain our social connections, and cause us to fold under pressure. But the good news is that there are tools we can use to make our inner voice work in our favour. Negative self-talk can be good in small doses, but it is possible to turn down the temperature when it’s running too high.

So this book is a bit more self-helpy than our previous ones, but it is still an interesting topic even if you are allergic to the self-help genre. And I am guessing a lot of us have at least on occasion wished the critical or ranting voice in our head would just shut the fuck up. Another positive is that he appears to draw upon academic empirical studies and is not a ‘life-coach’ making stuff up.

While reading the book for this meetup is not compulsory, it is strongly encouraged to enable more focal points in our discussion. This book is also shorter than our previous ones. Kross has also several videos, podcasts and articles covering the book. Some of these are linked below.

So join us for a drink (and optional meal) at 6.30pm MONDAY May 6th at the far-end of the 2nd floor at the Keg & Brew Hotel, Surrey Hills. (Note: the 2nd floor here means going up two flights of stairs – Ground (pub), 1st floor (kitchen and toilets), 2nd floor (us), 3rd floor (rooftop, where you can get a drink and order food)). It’s close to Central Station and the Light Rail.

l am trying Monday this time, instead of Tuesday, to hopefully get a quieter room.

Hope to see you there!

p.s. PLEASE ADJUST YOUR EMAIL NOTIFICATION SETTINGS (particularly for the Big Ideas Book Club settings further down the main email notification settings page). This is useful in case I need to notify everyone of any late changes to the event.

p.p.s. Also PLEASE ADJUST YOUR RSVP if you have indicated that you will come but are no longer able to do so. This is courteous to people on the waitlist.

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These are just possible links to consider. If you know of something useful on this topic, feel free to pass on the links in the discussion section.

Videos and podcasts

• Two ABC podcasts with Kross
Controlling the chatter in your head
What influences your inner voice? Controlling 'chatter' part two

• The Big Think with Kross
What to do if your inner voice is cruel

• Center for Positive Organizations interview with Kross
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3V33_f3yVn8

• Action for Happiness interview with Kross
How To Stop Overthinking with Ethan Kross

• An animated summary of the book (9 mins)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LXVl5iB7jfo

• Another summary of the book (8 mins)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xv0-onrMdh8

• A youtuber’s summary of some key parts of the book (16 mins)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i0gdp6cu5pQ

Written material

• Key takeaways from the book summarized by Kross:
The Next Big Idea Club - Ethan Kross

• The Chatter toolbox from Kross’s website
https://www.ethankross.com/chatter-toolbox/

• The Guardian review of the book
Why your most important relationship is with your inner voice