The feeling of friendship is this life-affirming, somewhat mysterious, alchemical connection between people who find joy in each other’s company. The nature of friendship is something intangible, and something that can’t be forced. However, you can definitely put yourself in the right places at the right times, where friendship is likely to flourish. And you can be proactive when budding friendships are just starting to form.
If you need any further motivation, other than the magic of making a new friend, consider Harvard’s famous study on happiness. Over a number of decades, researchers discovered that your sense of community is just as likely to impact your overall health and longevity as are your genes. This revelation, combined with the fact that the Surgeon General of the United States recently warned of a loneliness epidemic, makes friendship seem more vital than ever.
Luckily, the seeds of future friendship are all around you! Follow this year-long approach with quarterly benchmarks, and you’ll not only make valuable social connections, but you’ll also try new experiences, learn new things, and find yourself growing along the way.
January through March: acquaintances
At this first stage, a low-key and achievable goal is to just meet new people—as many as possible! An acquaintance is someone you’ve introduced yourself to, and often someone you’ve shared a group experience with, but they’re not yet a friend.
The best way to go about making acquaintances is by going to social events organized around topics that you’re genuinely passionate about. By doing so, you’ll not only enjoy your experience more, but you’ll also increase the likelihood of meeting people who share your interests and values. You might check out Meetup groups like Shut Up & Write!, Folk Music NYC, or other communities dedicated to sports, meditation, drawing, sewing, and more.
During this first quarter, habit is the key word. Find Meetup groups and activities that inspire you to keep coming back. And whenever you’re at an event, make the habit of introducing yourself to people you don’t know. If you’re feeling a bit out of practice, learn how to have a conversation with someone you just met.
April through June: friendlies
Now that you’re starting the second quarter, you’ve established a bunch of new acquaintances and you can start deepening those connections. Think of the “friendly” period as a transitional phase between acquaintance and friendship. During this time, you can begin to:
- Ask your acquaintances more about themselves
- Discover their likes and dislikes, their backstories, etc.
- Exchange contact information and/or follow each other on social media
You might also fold in people you already get along with, but haven’t spent social time with in a while. These might include coworkers, old friends, school friends, distant family, and more. Overall, the goal here is to develop a narrower pool of people with whom the joy of spending time together feels mutual.
July through September: friends
The third quarter is when bona fide friendship starts to emerge—but it doesn’t just happen all on its own! You can create this change by seeing what events are happening near you and inviting a group of friendlies to go together. Some great options are free film screenings in a local park, food festivals, concerts, and pop-up markets.
During this quarter, you could also take the leap to a one-on-one hangout with someone you’ve really hit it off with. You can’t go wrong with a simple walk to a coffee shop.
Whether it’s a group hang or a one-on-one, be sure to send a nice follow-up to the people who reciprocate the effort to spend time with you. It demonstrates your appreciation (and everyone loves to feel appreciated), plus it’s a great opportunity to cement some future plans. If some of your new friends came via Meetup, try inviting them to a future event with the brand-new Connections feature!
October through December: close friends
A close friend is someone who has become a truly dependable source of social bonding. Now, in this final quarter, you’ve been staying in touch with many of the same people over the year, attending events together, and inviting special folks to spend time with you one-on-one. Chances are good that you have at least a handful of people who you can call a close friend!
Round out this quarterly approach to making friends in 2024 with a celebration! Reflect on how far you’ve come and how much more full your life is by inviting your people to an end-of-year gathering, whether it’s a party at your home, a happy hour, or a barbeque in the park.
You set out to meet people you didn’t know at all, become acquainted, get to know each other, and turn budding friendships into life-affirming relationships. The journey isn’t over, of course—the friendships you’ve made will continue to deepen and grow, even as you start forming new connections with other people, too.
Learn more about Meetup+, a premium subscription designed for friendship.
Last modified on January 16, 2024
