Confident Social Skills

Why Being “Nice” Backfires (And How To Set Better Boundaries)

Wed, May 6 · 5:30 PM PDT

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Online

Online

You can find recordings from this workshop and other Confident Social Skills events on YouTube: Confident Social Skills Workshops Playlist

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Many of us were taught that being nice is the right way to move through the world. Be agreeable. Be accommodating. Don’t make things awkward. Don’t upset people.

On the surface, those traits can look like kindness. But sometimes what we call being nice is actually something different.

It can show up as avoiding conflict, saying yes when we mean no, over-explaining ourselves, or prioritizing other people’s comfort at the expense of our own needs. Over time, this pattern can lead to resentment, exhaustion, and relationships that don’t feel very balanced.

Ironically, trying too hard to be nice can actually make our relationships less honest and less authentic.

In this meetup, we’ll explore the difference between niceness and genuine kindness, and why people-pleasing habits often backfire in both social and personal relationships. We’ll talk about how these patterns form, why they’re so common, and how learning to set clearer boundaries can actually improve connection and respect.

This will be a discussion-based and interactive meetup rather than a lecture. We’ll begin with a short introduction to the topic and then move into small group conversations and optional exercises designed to help you reflect on your own patterns and explore new ways of responding in everyday situations.

The goal isn’t to become harsh, confrontational, or “less kind.” The goal is to learn how to show up with more honesty, self-respect, and clarity in your interactions with others.

This event is great for people who:

• Often say yes when they really want to say no
• Struggle with people-pleasing or fear of disappointing others
• Want to build healthier boundaries in friendships, dating, or work
• Enjoy conversations about personal growth and social skills

There’s no pressure to share anything deeply personal or to have everything figured out. Everyone here is learning and practicing.

If you’ve ever walked away from a conversation thinking, “Why did I agree to that?” or “I wish I had said something,” this meetup will likely resonate with you.

Come join us.

The Hidden Pattern Behind Insecurity (And How To Break It)

Wed, May 20 · 5:30 PM PDT

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Online

Online

You can find recordings from this workshop and other Confident Social Skills events on YouTube: Confident Social Skills Workshops Playlist

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A lot of people think insecurity is something you either have or you don’t. Like it’s a personality trait or something you’re just stuck with.

But insecurity is rarely random.

For many people, it follows a pattern — one that quietly repeats itself in conversations, relationships, work, and social situations. You might find yourself overthinking what you said, comparing yourself to others, holding back from speaking up, or worrying about how you’re being perceived.

Over time, these moments can create a cycle: self-doubt leads to hesitation, hesitation leads to missed opportunities, and those missed opportunities reinforce the belief that something is wrong with you.

The good news is that once you begin to see the pattern, you can start to change it.

In this meetup, we’ll explore some of the common patterns that drive insecurity and how they develop. We’ll talk about why insecurity often shows up in social situations, how our thoughts and behaviors can unintentionally reinforce it, and what it looks like to begin interrupting that cycle.

This meetup will be interactive and discussion-based rather than a lecture. We’ll start with a short introduction to the topic and then move into small group conversations and optional exercises where you can reflect on your own experiences and hear from others working on similar challenges.

The goal isn’t to eliminate insecurity overnight. The goal is to better understand how it works and to start building the awareness and actions that gradually replace self-doubt with confidence.

This event is great for people who:

• Often overthink social interactions or conversations
• Want to feel more confident speaking up and expressing themselves
• Notice patterns of self-doubt or comparison
• Enjoy thoughtful conversations about personal growth and connection

There’s no pressure to share anything deeply personal or to have everything figured out. Everyone here is exploring and learning.

If you’ve ever thought, “Why do I keep getting stuck in my own head?” this meetup will likely resonate with you.

Come join us.