Psychology Chat: Let's Discuss Boundaries

In the next conversation of the Foundation Series, we’ll explore the topic of Boundaries.

From calls to “protect our peace” to stories of estrangement, the topic of boundaries is a hot one these days. At their best, they define the physical, emotional and psychological space we need to feel safe and respected in our interactions with others. In principle, they reflect both a recognition of individuality and a commitment to mutual care.

And yet… boundaries can feel confronting. Asserting our own or receiving someone else’s can stir up guilt, fear, or even shame. In cultures where selflessness and tolerance are presented as a moral virtue, the idea of setting expectations of behaviour with others can feel like a taboo. And for those who crave connection, the idea of creating space with others (and allowing them to do the same) may feel threatening.

But what if boundaries could be relational? What if they could actually bring us closer together? Is it possible to hold others while holding our own?

Our conversation will be structured in two parts:

Part 1: Our Relationship to Boundaries
We’ll begin by exploring our personal and cultural relationship to boundaries, including questions like:

• What does the word "boundary" bring up for you?
• What messages did you receive about boundaries growing up?
• Why do boundaries sometimes feel like rejection (to ourselves or to others)?
• Have you ever experienced boundaries being used in a controlling or distancing way? How did that impact you?

Part 2: Boundaries as a Relational Practice
Next, we’ll explore how boundaries can deepen trust and connection, including questions like:

• How can we frame boundaries as invitations to connection, not rejections?
• What helps us feel safe when others set boundaries with us?
• What is the difference between a boundary, an ultimatum and a withdrawal?
• What are some boundaries you currently hold or would like to set for yourself?

We value curiosity over certainty. Whether you share a story, ask a question, or simply listen in, you belong here.

The Foundations Series is a collection of discussions where we map out the inner landscape of connection. These gatherings explore the building blocks - from the inner practices that make connection possible to the vulnerabilities that unravel it.