Reclaiming Our Joy

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I recently heard a podcast with Dr Judith Joseph who talked about her new book titled “High Functioning: Overcome Your Hidden Depression and Reclaim your Joy”. In her work, Dr Joseph describes High Functioning Depression very differently from how we normally think of depression.

In our usual definition of depression, this is a common mental health disorder where the person presents with sadness, loss of interest in activities usually accompanied with a heavy feeling of unhappiness.

Conversely, in the case of high functioning depression, there is no sadness or overt feelings of morose. This is not a clinical depression but rather a way where we function well in our lives but we keep ourselves so busy that we don’t deal with our feelings. Instead, we go through the motions of our activities in our lives but in the process we are no longer present and instead we not only suppress our pain but we also suppress our joy.

Said in another way, we are no longer living in the present moment, experiencing our range of feelings. As a result, we have often lost that sense of the present moment which is where our joy lives.

Much of this is because of the many demands we have living in this fast paced world. And because we have been taught to by-pass our painful feelings. Not even to acknowledge them.

Instead we overcome –we use social media or emails or create diversions or addictions to suppress our feelings and we don’t regularly check in with ourselves to feel our loneliness or sadness or rage for example.

When I heard this podcast I realized she was talking to me. I have deep deep feelings about the world we are living in. And I haven’t allowed myself to feel in a long –my sadness, rage, anguish, loneliness, fear, worry. I talk about the politics of it and might keep myself up at night ruminating about certain issues but I haven’t given myself the luxury of allowing these emotions into my life, feeling these emotions, befriending these emotions, accepting these emotions, embracing these emotions.

Instead, I shut down that door and don’t want to acknowledge the present moment. The result has been my feeling some flatness in my life. And this can permeate all parts of our lives. Can anyone relate? Can anyone relate to being functional in your life but some joy is missing?

We are a culture where we don’t discuss “bad “ feelings. The pandemic came and left and there was no national acknowledgment of the experience. I don’t mean statistically about how many people lost their lives or lost their jobs, etc. But rather as a country or as a community, how many of us collectively mourned—not the loss of lives but mourned how our lives had changed so profoundly. In Judaism we gather together for a week after someone dies and mourn the loss. But we didn’t do that after the pandemic subsided. Instead we just moved on as if it didn’t happen.

Likewise, how many of us are mourning the assaults that plague our world on a daily basis? How many of us need to scream or cry or pound pillows to discharge these pent up emotions and we just don’t? We all need some way(s) to get our upsets out and not just be high functioning and overcoming our hidden depression. We all need to reclaim our joy. We all need to get some color back in our lives.

Join us on May 7th from 5-6:30 PST for this important discussion.