Closing the Door to Blame

One of the characteristics I find appealing is the ability for someone to take responsibility for their actions. It is a powerful step toward personal growth and can create healthier relationships. And, can be achieved by closing the door to blame. Living without blame means you can stop finding fault in others and instead see your part in the situation. And, choose connection to another over “having to be right.”

This is not always easy because we don’t want to appear wrong or stupid or somehow incompetent. Instead, it seems easier to just deny the truth and find someone (usually someone weaker) to use as our cover up for our own limitations.
But is it really easier to blame someone else for our shortcomings? This means we are constantly criticizing others as our defensive strategy. This means we harden our hearts as we sit in judgment, often holier than thou of what that other person did to you, often in righteous indignation. Maybe it’s easier in the moment but not in any ethical or spiritual sense.
In this short time we have on earth, where do we want to put our energy? I remember hearing that the Dalai Lama, upon hearing of the brutal Chinese oppression invading his country of Tibet, immediately asked in concern about the safety of the Chinese people. (no blame). When Harry Truman was the President he had a quote on his desk that said “the buck stops here”. That is, as President of the United States, he lived by the belief that the decisions he was making were ultimately his responsibility and he took the consequences for those decisions. No blame.

Now more than ever we have to stop our blaming. It leads to separation and building walls between us and others. It leads to a right-wrong way of viewing life (I am right and you are wrong) and perpetuates a fighting energy. (can even be warlike with some people).
So here are the choices—we swallow our pride and admit our limitations and live with our hearts softened and forgive and accept others while inquiring about that part of ourselves when we blamed. OR, we continue this cold war, on guard all the time, reactive when someone says you are wrong, and you continue being in a battle with not only others that you care about but also with yourself.

Join us on August 13th

Zoom Link: https://us02web.zoom.us/j/89494059358?pwd=y0pbzYvdtqVJBdI9S5CZwIKwCM4jTv.1