Social + Discussion: What part does commitment play in polyamory?
Details
Thursday 12th February 2026: 7.30–8.45pm
Polyamory & ENM: Social + Discussion –
“What part does commitment play in polyamory?”
(Free)
Since becoming polyamorous, one of the most common assumptions I’ve heard from monogamous folks is that ethical non-monogamy and commitment are somehow incompatible, as though monogamy holds the monopoly on commitment. But is that really true?
What does it actually mean to be committed?
Definitions:
The word commitment itself carries a wide range of meanings:
The Oxford Dictionary defines it as “the time, work, and loyalty someone devotes to a cause or activity,” and also as “an engagement or duty that limits one’s freedom of action.”
The Cambridge Dictionary says: “a promise or firm decision to do something,” and “a willingness to give your time and energy to something you believe in.”
Synonyms:
Responsibility, Obligation, Duty, Liability, Engagement, Tie.
Dedication, Devotion, Allegiance, Loyalty.
Promise, Vow, Pledge, Undertaking.
ENM & Marriage:
In our mononormative culture, getting married is often seen as the ultimate relationship commitment. Many ENM couples do, in fact, choose marriage, civil partnership or hand-fasting with one or more of their partners.
According to AlternativeCeremoniesuk.com:
“While legally within the UK only two people can be recognised as being within a marriage, poly people can celebrate their union with a wedding or ceremony. Celebrant ceremonies enable people with many lifestyle choices to have a meaningful and bespoke wedding or ceremony in celebration of their relationship and union.”
But many do not. In fact, many see 'marriage' as irrelevant and antithetical to the freedom offered by ethical non-monogamy.
So, let's explore these questions:
- What does commitment mean to ENM folks?
- Can we be deeply committed to more than one person?
- And how do we personally experience, define, and live commitment in our relationships?
Expect an open, curious conversation where there’s no single right answer, just shared experience, insight, and learning.
Open to both total newbies and seasoned poly wanderers. Bring your curiosity, your questions, and your own lived wisdom – all perspectives are welcome.
We will take the question as a starting point for a deeper conversation and spend time in breakout rooms to allow people to connect and chat with more people and hear more perspectives.
Please note this isn't one of those impersonal online events where participants engage minimally and at a distance from behind their muted faceless screens. Numbers are limited precisely to encourage real human connection and in-depth conversation in breakout rooms with like-minded folks, to whatever extent feels authentic and safe to them.
Cost: Free