What we’re about
This is a free social/support group for progressive, feminist, high-functioning, and socially well-adjusted baby boomer (+/-) women who got started later in life and/or missed out on a part of life due to the consequences of emotional abuse or neglect* in childhood, and who are now coping with current stressors—in addition to the pandemic—while running on empty and feeling stuck due to a lack of enough attuned emotional support. The goals of this group include gradual, genuine friendship and the payoffs that such friendships provide, including (not exclusively) the cultivation and/or maintenance of motivation, purpose, and meaning. An important part of the mission of this group is to provide needed recognition and reinforcement that you are still you, filled with all kinds of potential, and with plans you should pursue, if you have them and you want to, whether or not you are retired, or never worked outside the home, no matter your age.
Research has repeatedly shown that close, caring friendships are, in fact, significantly more important than even diet and exercise in promoting a long and satisfying life. Therefore, as we get to know each other our aim will be to learn how to appropriately show up for each other, and for ourselves, in ways that leave us feeling fulfilled instead of depleted. If done successfully we will build a sense of belonging and community. In line with this, although I am a retired psychotherapist, this not psychotherapy, even though it might seem like it sometimes, given that we will be limited to meeting on Zoom until vaccines make it safe for us to meet in person. But the group will not be structured the way group therapy is. I will provide some initial guidelines, but we will create this group—this community—together.
Who this group isn’t for:
Although this is a group for women who are open to experience and to being playful, this is a group for women who believe in astronomy, not astrology.
This is also not a group for chronic complainers. A “chronic complainer” is someone whose perceptions of their personal hardships have become so deeply ingrained a part of their personality that searching for and applying potential solutions to their problems is a threat to their identity.
Last but not least, this is also not a group for people who are quick to judge. Keep in mind that, often, it is only after getting to know someone and finding out you can trust her that you discover you also like her. It will take time to get to know and trust each other.
In "How We Show Up," Mia Birdsong wrote, “We live in a contradiction—we are made for interdependence, connection, and love, but [are] part of a culture that espouses the opposite. Creating what is counter-culture requires vigilance. We stumble, backslide, and forget…But like so many change processes, the thing we are trying to get to holds the key to getting there.” If this resonates with you, you might want to give this group a try.
*While emotional abuse is usually easy to recognize, emotional neglect sometimes isn’t. This is because there are parents who love their children but who are also unintentionally emotionally neglectful. If you have a history of frequently feeling like you are running on empty and don’t know why, childhood emotional neglect might be the reason.