🎄 FREE BORING EVENT – Crawley Christmas Hike & Dinner : You'll Probably Regret

Meet: Outside Crawley Station
Time: 11:00 a.m. sharp (also known as “11:15” in real-hiker time)
Difficulty: Moderate — enough to warm up your legs and test your balance in mud, but not enough to require therapy.
Distance: Long enough to earn your Christmas dinner, short enough to still enjoy it afterwards.

It’s that time again — December, when logic takes a holiday and we go walking through mud in the name of “festive cheer.”

Because nothing says holiday spirit like soggy socks, lost dignity, and questioning your life choices one mud puddle at a time.

Every December, I generously spare you from my usual “let’s accidentally cross a county” expeditions and bring the fun (and mud) right here to my town: Crawley — proud home of Britain’s roundabout surplus, some very confident ducks, and scenery that’s almost photogenic if you squint and lie to yourself a bit.

But don’t worry — your reward for surviving this muddy miracle awaits: our annual Christmas pub dinner and get-together, where calories don’t count and roast potatoes heal all trauma.

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## 🌲 Highlights May Include:

✨ Worth Way – the jury’s still out on whether it’s worth it.
🌿 Copthorne Woods – thorns included, nature’s free exfoliation.
🪵 Crawley Down – the name is a lie, but the mud is real.
💩 Enough mud to open our own spa. (Exfoliating, hydrating, and mildly soul-crushing.)
It’s like the Scottish Highlands… if they’d been through budget cuts and installed a Costa.

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## 🏆 The Great Crawley Awards 2025

As our almost final hikes of the year, I’ll be handing out some prestigious honours, including:
🥇 Most Dramatic Sigh While Climbing a “Hill” That Isn’t One
🥈 Best Impression of Enjoying Themselves
🥉 Outstanding Dedication to Repeatedly Making the Same Mistake
💀 Lifetime Achievement in Showing Up Despite All Previous Experiences

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## 🥾 Hike Details

Pace: Medium — fast enough to call it exercise, slow enough for deep existential reflection.
Terrain: Flat-ish. Any inclines are purely psychological (and emotional).
Finish: Around 5:30–6:00 p.m. — perfect timing for phase two.
Weather: Sussex spin cycle — sunshine, drizzle, or both simultaneously.
Mud: Deep, personal, transformative. The kind that makes you reassess your footwear budget and life priorities.

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## 🎒 What to Bring

🧭 The Essentials:

• Proper hiking boots (trainers will surrender by km 2)
• Waterproofs — December doesn’t negotiate
• A torch — daylight clocks may be out at 4 p.m.
• 1L of water — stay hydrated enough to keep complaining clearly
• Packed lunch — snacks are morale

🎅 The Intangibles:

• Festive spirit — Santa hats strongly encouraged
• Bad jokes and acceptance of your fate
• Cash/card for the main event...

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## 🍺 The Real Destination: Christmas Pub Dinner

You’ve survived the mud — now it’s time for the part everyone actually came for.
The real highlight is collapsing into a cosy pub afterwards for our annual Christmas dinner and get-together.
The location is top secret (mostly because I am still finalising it), but rest assured it’ll be a proper local spot with:
🍽️ Hot food that you didn’t have to carry in a rucksack
🍷 Beverages that taste like reward and absolution
🎉 A festive atmosphere born from shared suffering and dry socks
🎁 Terrible Christmas cracker jokes (an upgrade from our hiking banter)
🥂 A chance to celebrate another year of questionable outdoor decisions
🍻 For those planning to fully commit to the “festive” part, an overnight stay in Crawley might be a wise (and wobbly) choice.
Whether you’re there for the full turkey dinner or just a celebratory pint and chips, this is where we toast to muddy boots, good company, and the fact that we voluntarily keep doing this to ourselves.
The pub is the prize. The hike is character building.

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## 🚶‍♂️ Group Etiquette

Please stay with or behind the hike leader at all times.
This isn’t just for safety — it’s to ensure nobody goes rogue and ends up leading a rival expedition to Crawley Tesco.
I lead from the front (and occasionally from a puddle), but we start together, end together, and ideally still like each other enough to share a table afterwards.
Please read the About Us section before signing up for events — it includes important info about how our group runs and what to expect.
🔗 https://www.meetup.com/free-hiking-outdoor-fitness-and-social-activities/

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## 💬 Final Notes

This hike is free, though your muscles may invoice you the next morning.
Expect laughter, camaraderie, and just enough chaos to earn your 2025 “I Survived Crawley” badge.
The pub dinner is pay-your-own-way, but the banter and questionable award ceremony are complimentary.
📞 Lost? Late? Contemplating your choices?
WhatsApp: 07830 374 629
(Response times may vary if I’m currently being claimed by the terrain.)

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P.S. If anyone asks why we’re hiking in Crawley, just tell them:

> “It builds character — and destroys socks.”

P.P.S. Santa hats are encouraged. Festive fleeces are acceptable. Giving up is not — there’s roast dinner waiting.