What we’re about
We all like to have (good) friends. However, finding and building friendships in your 30s or later seems an unscripted challenge.
Marisa G. Franco (a psychologist who's specialized in friendship) posits that "Sociologists have kind of identified the ingredients that need to be in place for us to make friends organically, and they are continuous unplanned interaction and shared vulnerability […]".
However... "unplanned interaction"??? How does that happen when you have an active and interesting professional life (that, since COVID, takes place at home)? Or how do you mix that repeated serendipity while trying to keep a romantic partnership / having a family / tending to the love one you already have in your life?
Add to this mix that a lot of us moved around during 2020-2021 and you have (we guess) a bunch of people feeling kinda lonely but not knowing what to do next. And, well, we are one of those people.
Hi. We are MJ and Corey. We both arrived to Portland in 2021. Corey (34) from the Bay Area –yeah, he's aware he's almost a trope–; MJ (36) from Mexico City. We met on everyone's favorite hangout these years: a screen. OK Cupid's algorithm introduced us, I flew to meet him and we've been together ever since that red-eye fly MJ took in June 12th.
We are a couple of very nuanced beings who love deep intellectual discussions and light hearted banter all the same. Who grew up in cult-like environments but worked our way out of them with a LOT of therapy. Who marvel at unanswered questions but don't hesitate questioning when something sounds too "woo woo". We care about the present and future of humanity and the world but are too highly-sensitive to take on the full responsibility for saving the world from a debacle on our own. We are both empathetic and good listeners, but refuse to adhere to "woke" stances in a religious-like way.
Aside from that, we LOVE delicious liquids (Corey's been a sommelier and a tea-shop owner; I co-own a cocktail storytelling company) and are unapologetical omnivores who have a well-travelled palate.
We love paradoxes: we relax together watching The Baking Show but decided to orchestrate an entire strategy (Miro boards and all) to try and make some friends.
In short, we are a two complex but balanced individuals who happen to be a couple, are reasonably new to Portland and would like to find friends.
We decided to call this experiment the "friendship roulette" because every one involved (you included) will (we hope) join us in the hopes of finding meaningful (or, at least, enjoyable) connection but sometimes our bets will be off. Our hope is we can all understand this is a complex dynamic system we are all engaging in and can find some humor in the journey itself.
If you want to dive deeper into our obsessiveness and passion-guided quest, you will be able follow our meta-process in a blog we are preparing.
If you just found one of our events and you fancy having a good time, place your bet on it by RSVPing.
Some events will be created by Corey; some by me; some by suggestions of people / authors we meet along the way. We are pretty obsessed with how format can shape encounters so every event will specify what you're being invited to, so you can gauge if it's a good fit for where you're at.
Please know, whether either of us hit it off or not with you, we are committed to being respectful, amicable and recognizant of what it takes to put yourself out there and try to socialize.
We'll adjust as we learn, so don't expect much predictability in this meetup's agenda.
Place your bets and let's get this roulette rolling!
Hopefully, all our lives will be better for having played.
TLDR; If you fancy an event generated in this meetup and are open to making new friends, join us. We are a newcomers international couple in Portland in our mid-thirties (monogamous, heterosexual and cis-gendered, yet open to connection with different identity configurations) experimenting with finding new friends and marveling at the process (while, hopefully, having a good time).