Future Plans & Friends

Welcome!

This group is for younger adult women 18+ (this may be the most helpful meetup group you'll find) who are curious about life goals, improving dating (How dating standards change by age #shorts funny), or the possibility of having children someday. Whether you’re certain, undecided, or just exploring your options, this is a supportive space to reflect, learn, and connect with like-minded women.

We meet for gradually casual to deeper discussions, thought-provoking questions, and friendly conversation — all designed to help you clarify priorities, explore options, and gain insights into relationships and life planning. Each gathering also draws on curated insights from experts, research, and evidence-based sources to guide discussions on topics such as:

• Fertility and biological timelines, the "secretary problem" in dating
• Emotional and psychological dimensions of motherhood
• Modern family structures (traditional, single, or hybrid like co-parenting, etc.)
• Career, lifestyle, and financial planning
• Personal values, life design, and relationship compatibility
• Evidence-based insights on child development and parenting

Optional: Bring questions about dating or life planning — this is a chance to explore ideas, share perspectives, and make meaningful connections in a judgment-free environment. You don’t need to be actively trying for children — curiosity and an open mind are all that’s required!

For those who are socially conscious and responsible, one challenge society faces is that we are not having enough children. Additionally, your parents or family likely want you to have kids and live a happy life. Some studies suggest that people who have children tend to be happier overall, and those with more children are often happier, than those with only one etc. If happiness is a priority, this suggests that having children sooner—even with a less-than-ideal partner—may be more important than waiting for an ideal partner and risking not having children at all. In other words, if you focus first on finding the perfect partner and only then consider whether to have children, you may be approaching things backwards if long-term happiness matters most to you.

Rule of thumb, on average, linking priorities to timing/deadlines (consider the Secretary Problem) for having children:

• If a woman prioritizes children/others more than career or herself, she should probably start having children before age 25.
• If she values children and career roughly equally, or is unsure, she should probably start having children before age 30.
• If she prioritizes career more than children but still wants them, she should probably start having children before age 35.
• If she mainly prioritizes career or herself and views children as optional, it may still be possible to get pregnant before 40, though risks and difficulty increase significantly.

This rule of thumb is valuable because it offers a simple guide to make choices while fertility is still favorable, so that the potential number of children is optimized, life happiness is maximized, and unnecessary risk or regret is reduced. As you may already know it may also be harder to find a man you want as time passes.

There is much more to explore on these topics, hence the meetup events. Rather than offering a full analysis of how dating and relationships are changing—especially without knowing your specific interests, challenges, or knowledge gaps—we share easy-to-understand and engaging resources so you can explore the topics further on your own, including:

• Unrealistic ideals trap women
• “I Wasted My 20s Partying” — TikToker Panics at 28
• Dating power shifts with age
• Do Women WASTE Their Lives?
• THIS Is The Biggest Problem With Dating Apps... | No.1 Couples Therapist
• This Statistically Is The Best Age To Get Married So You Don't Get A Divorce!
• The Real Problem With Online Dating | Alain De Botton
• Why So Many Women Think Men Are Trash | Matthew Hussey
• The REAL Reason Women Are (Quickly) Losing Men
• Women Are Begging Men to Date Again
• The mathematics of love | Hannah Fry (In the Secretary Problem, wait through about 37% of your timeline, then pick the next best option than what you have seen, before your deadline.)
• And many more...

If you enjoy this kind of informative content, feel free to reach out, and we’ll share a top 10 list of YouTube channels on these topics to help you deepen your knowledge and understanding, and reach your relationship—and ultimately life—goals sooner.