The Great Debate: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

The time has come to answer the single most important question of our generation: Who Is The Greatest Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle?

The only way this can truly be settled is, of course, a 30 person melee featuring hand-to-hand combat - TMNT weapons required - to the death. But since that doesn't seem legal, we'll do it a different way: modified parliamentary debate style.

Everyone must come representing their favorite hero in the half-shell (costumes and weapons very strongly encouraged). We'll divide into teams based on turtle preference, with each team electing speakers on their behalf. Attendees are encouraged to bring whatever materials and/or evidence they believe will help their side's case. A panel of impartial judges will then hear each team out, and render the verdict that may very well shake our civilization to its core.

There will be pizza.

So tell me, Gen Geek: Who's Your Favorite Turtle?

Raphael. I think I'm cooler than I actually am. My angst has angst.

Michelangelo. I'm a basic bitch that digs corporate catchphrases.

Leonardo. I loved high school. I also peaked early.

Donatello. I wear socks with sandals and (not so) secretly want to be Gandalf