Kant’s Cave: Ursula Blythe - The Philosophy of Grief

Ursula Blythe - The Philosophy of Grief: Love, loss, and the so-called human condition

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Can Philosophy Inform Grief?

Death is part of the human condition, yet we tend to avoid the subject in everyday conversations and philosophical discourse. Engaging with Grief reminds people of their own inevitable losses and demise during their life-cycle. However, death remains a curious mystery where our sense of loss and confusion is somehow out of our control. This phenomena generates the concept and real-life experience of Grief itself.

As a starting point, it is important to understand or appreciate: Why we avoid the topic of Grief, particularly across Western cultures? Indeed, there are many social, psychological, and philosophical reasons for avoiding the discussion of Grief. As a prelude to my talk, I have signposted some significant examples of why we may avert discussions of Grief, as follows:

Emotional Discomfort:
Grief is an intensely painful and overwhelming emotion. Discussing it openly can make both the grieving person and others feel uncomfortable, as it forces an acknowledgment of vulnerability and mortality.

Fear of Saying the Wrong Thing:
Many folks are unsure of what to say or how to support someone who is
grieving. They fear causing further pain or appearing insensitive which often leads them to avoid the elephant in the room!

Social Norms and Stigma:
Western culture often emphasises resilience and “moving on” quickly. So, open displays of intense emotions, especially prolonged sadness can be seen as a sign of weakness or an inability to cope, leading to avoidance of the subject.

Lack of Personal Experience:
If an individual has not experienced a significant loss themselves, they may struggle to empathise or appreciate the depth of another’s pain.

Pace of Modern Life:
Everyday life moves quickly, and there is often little time or space for the extended period of mourning that Grief requires. People may feel pressure to maintain normalcy and avoid “bringing down the mood” in social interactions.

In Philosophical Terms:
Traditional philosophy, particularly from the Stoics onward, has often focused on how to overcome or control emotions like ‘Grief’ through reason, rather than exploring its inherent value or meaning. The goal was often ataraxia (a state of freedom from emotional disturbance) which positions Grief as something to be managed, rather than discussed openly. Solomon (2007) states that the avoidance of Grief stems from a human disposition to: Shield ourselves and others from intense pain and the profound existential challenges that Grief presents.

On reflection, normative definitions explain Loss as the event of losing
something or someone. However, death remains a curious mystery here a sense of loss and bewilderment is out of our control known as the ‘process’ or ‘stages’ of Grief, which I will strongly argue against.

For me, Grief is nether inherently rational or irrational, as it a natural
emotional, mental, and physical response to the loss of a loved one. However, everyone’s experience of Grief is different, both culturally and individually. When endeavouring to “draw out meaning” from Grief. Perhaps it is very subjective in the early stages, and more objective in the later stages, which may generate a new understanding of Grief as a philosophical concept. In this talk, I will be drawing on the work of C.S. Lewis (1963), Robert C. Solomon (2007) and Michael Cholbi (2022), in order to assess if philosophy can actually inform our understanding and meaning of Grief.

Ursula Mary Blythe is a public philosopher, essayist, researcher, and someone who has experienced profound loss and grief in recent years.

This event is sponsored by the Royal institute of Philosophy.
Lecture and discussion! See you there?
For the full programme of events pls see pfalondon.org