What we're about

Integrated Men - Denver is a men's support community of men based on the works of Dr. Robert Glover the leading authority on the subject. We welcome men from all walks of life and provide a safe space for men to start learning to be their authentic self. Having read the book is not important to join the group, but if the description below chimes with you, and you wish to make necessary life changes, join our group.

If you are not familiar with the above-mentioned body of work I would recommend starting with the book No More Mr. Nice Guy by Dr. Robert Glover and getting familiar with the core concepts discussed in our group meetings.

Nice Guys have been conditioned to believe that if they are "good" and do everything "right", they will be loved, get their needs met, and have a smooth life. Sound too good to be true? It is. This belief is a myth, which only leaves Nice Guys feeling frustrated, lonely, and powerless.

Dr. Glover says:

An integrated male takes responsibility for getting his own needs met.

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This group is about taking Full Responsibility for our lives instead of blaming others for our life situations. Time and again we fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to others' lives and situations. The goal is to forge our own lives based on our own set of values and purpose.

There is nothing wrong with being nice. But the Nice Guy does it to seek approval and avoid rejection. He's a people-pleaser. He constantly sets his own needs and wants aside, and pretends to be something he's not, in order to make other people happy. Suppressing his authenticity does not work for long. The Nice Guy eventually blows up in a rage, passive-aggressive behavior, or compulsive sexual acting out. Nice Guys do not feel that it's safe to be exactly who they are and therefore are secretive, manipulative, and very unhappy.

We are a group of men who want to start taking control of ourselves and our lives. We have seen that we cannot do it alone. The group aims to provide a safe space for men to have difficult conversations without fear of judgment.

We pledge to help, support, and encourage one another in our journey to become Integrated Males.

We strive to:

• Stop seeking the approval of others.

• Learn effective ways to get our needs met.

• Feel more powerful and confident.

• Create the kind of intimate relationships we really want.

• Learn to express our feelings and emotions.

• Have a fulfilling and exciting sex life.

• Embrace our masculinity and have meaningful relationships with other men.

• Live up to our potential and become truly creative and productive.

• Accept ourselves just as we are.

• Live with total integrity.

If these are things you want in your life, please join us! Any adult male is welcome, regardless of relationship status, position in life, religious beliefs, or sexual orientation. We strive to make our meetings safe for all.

Our support/discussion group meetings are held every Tuesday night and last about 2 hours. Along with our Tuesday night meetings, we also meet in-person at least twice a month over the weekends. We also do plenty of other group activities to give you a chance to bond with our group of amazing men.

Even though we take the principal themes for our meetings from the book "No More Mr. Nice Guy", by Dr. Robert Glover, we also use other inspirational books and materials to enhance our discussions. Join us and start getting what you want in life, love, and relationships!

Please read the following Community Values and Guidelines

• Respect for the rights, differences, and dignity of others

• Respect confidentiality.

• Honesty and integrity in dealing with all members of the community

• Accountability for personal behavior

• Live an authentic life.

• A pursuit of vulnerability through sharing of personal experiences.

• Being fully present (And listen actively).

• Discover your personal passion.

• Accept that everyone is on their own journey.

• Support others as they pursue an authentic life.

• Respect women. (without putting them on a pedestal and treat them as equals)

• Be an example to children.

• Honor your commitments. (Keep your word.)

• Strive to build a community spirit.

• Know our responsibilities.

Members shall refrain from pursuing other members for the sole purpose of personal gain or personal agenda.

Members shall refrain from creating disruptions within the group.

By attending the meetings, I agree with the community values and vow to withhold the code.

Membership Requirements

We advocate authenticity, and this is the first and important step towards it. .

As part of the membership process we require that all members meet the following requirements:

• Have an appropriate Meetup profile picture

• Provide their name.

Note: This is a paid membership group to ensure I provide the best community experience of a safe space for men possible. If you are ready to join, start by sending a Meetup join request and then taking a free quiz below.

If you are ready to begin your journey take a short quiz to get started. ( https://niceguysto.integrated.men/go ) page.

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Thank you.

Upcoming events (4)

Finding Your Really Great Woman [Part 1] - The path to better relationships

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To put it succinctly, nice guys tend to have issues with relationships.

Whether it's anxiety and frustration about dating,
or when nice guys do get into a relationship - they often don't pick the healthiest partners.

When it comes to relationships, most nice guys don't have a very high bar.

They tend to date down and settle for less than what they really want.

They will often pick wounded women because they either believe that's the best they can do or because they unconsciously believe a wounded woman won't focus too much on their own perceived inadequacies and eventually leave them.

The longer you stay in one unhealthy relationship - the longer you delay finding a more suitable one for you.

There are boatloads of good women out there.

But there’s only a small handful of women who have the potential to be YOUR really great woman.

And there are only just a few women who have the potential to be your really great match.

That's why it is so very important that you do not waste time toiling in a relationship with a woman who's not a good match for you.

This is always the most sought-after event in our series.

If you are not a member of the Integrated Men's Personal Development Community and would like to attend the meeting, please join us at https://apply.integratedmen.net/join

The meeting passcode is sent to paid members’ email.

Finding Your Really Great Woman [Part 2] - The Makings of a Mature Partner

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There are many wounded people out there.
And these wounded people are probably out there wanting to be in a relationship. And that's great. You just don't want to be one of the people that matches up with these wounded people.

This week we are going to talk about how to recognize these wounded people who haven’t resolved their past hurts.

As we talked about in part one, there are boatloads of good women out there, but there’s only a small handful of women who have the potential to be your really great woman.

And there are only just a few women who have the potential to be your really great match.

That's why it is so very important that you do not waste time toiling in a relationship with a woman who's not a good match for you.

Since it's usually pretty easy to tell if a woman is a wrong woman for you, you might be wondering why we would pick up an entire discussion on this matter.

Well, the way most nice guys tend to date is they try to seduce a woman to get them to like them.

Most nice guys have this underlying feeling of inadequacy.

Therefore they tend to pick women that are not really their first choice.

Since getting any woman to like them often seems like a major hurdle,

If any woman does like them, No matter how wrong she might be for them, Nice guys are often open to that opportunity purely just because they think that’s the best woman they are going to get.

There are many different kinds of wrong women and I’m going to help you identify a few.

Join us this week where we’re going to be discussing how to find a really great woman and the ones to avoid.

This week we are going to talk about how to have a healthy approach to dating and putting ourselves out there all the while making sure we don’t get into a relationship with the wrong woman.

If you are not a member of the Integrated Men's Personal Development Community and would like to attend the meeting, please join us at https://apply.integratedmen.net/join

The meeting passcode is sent to paid members’ email.

Finding Your Really Great Woman [Part 3] - Choosing Wisely

Network event

Link visible for attendees

For most Nice Guys, if they are with a woman, the minimal basic requirements usually include:

She isn't too bad-looking or too fat.

She is at least minimally interested in him.

And at least in the beginning, she's willing to have sex with him.

When it comes to relationships, most nice guys don't have a very high bar.

They tend to date down and settle for less than what they really want.

They will often pick wounded women because they either believe that's the best they can do or because they unconsciously believe a wounded woman won't focus too much on their own perceived inadequacies and eventually leave them.

There are boatloads of good women out there.

But there’s only a small handful of women who have the potential to be your really great woman.

And there are only just a few women who have the potential to be your really great match.

That's why it is so very important that you do not waste time toiling in a relationship with a woman who's not a good match for you.

Join us this week where we’re going to be discussing how to find a really great woman and the ones to avoid.

This week we are going to talk about how to have a healthy approach to dating and putting ourselves out there all the while making sure we don’t get into a relationship with the wrong woman.

If you are not a member of the Integrated Men's Personal Development Community and would like to attend the meeting, please join us at https://apply.integratedmen.net/join
The meeting passcode is sent to paid members’ email.

Finding Your Really Great Woman [Part 4] - What You need to know about BPD

Network event

Link visible for attendees

This weeks discussion is covering the really wrong women for Nice Guys; women with Borderline Personality Disorder.

These discussions are not meant to keep men feeling helpless or rageful towards women because of the bad behavior of a few.

Nice Guys are extremely bad at dealing with conflict, and BPD people love to create conflict as they thrive on it. This appeals to Nice Guy's fixer tendencies but it never ends well for them.

They’re meant to keep you more conscious as you date.

To teach you to go as slowly as possible to find out as quickly as possible to find what a woman’s nature is.

To remind you not to ignore yellow and red flags.
To not fall into caretaking or fixing mode with a woman.

To not accept any kind of bad behavior from a woman, and…

To not settle because you finally found a girlfriend and you don’t want to start over or because you don’t believe you can find anything better.

So these discussions are really about you...

NOT about women.

They are about teaching you to be a conscious decider - to be a good ender with wrong women and really wrong women.

To leave the door open for meeting women who have the potential to be a really great partner for you.

You want your relationship to lighten your load, not add to your burden.

Sadly, nice guys are attracted to the chaos of BPD women for all the wrong reasons.

This week we are going to talk about how to understand your own motives and ensure that you stay mindful of the red flags that come under the guise of fun for the first few weeks but only reveal themselves when you are stuck way too deep.

I hope that these presentations give you some insights into becoming a better decider of what kind of people you would like to have in your life.

If you are not a member of the Integrated Men's Personal Development Community and would like to attend the meeting, please join us at https://apply.integratedmen.net/join
The meeting passcode is sent to paid members’ email.

Past events (56)

Success September: Rules for Successful Relationships

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Photos (84)