The Great Busse Woods Naval Expedition
Details
An Introverts Hangout Outdoor Survival Experience™
Have you ever looked upon the mighty waters of Busse Woods and thought:
"Yes. I too shall conquer these approximately calm suburban waters"? Then this event is for you!
Join fellow adventurers, accidental athletes, and highly motivated snack carriers for an early afternoon of kayaking through the legendary waters of Busse Woods. Together, we shall paddle bravely through scenic forest preserves while pretending we absolutely know what we’re doing.
Some participants may seek:
- Inner peace
- Exercise
- Vitamin D
- Ducks 🦆
- Emotional support geese
- An excuse to buy waterproof bags they’ll only use once
Expedition Details
Location: Busse Woods
Mission Difficulty: Beginner-ish
Vessel Type: Kayak
Chance of accidentally spinning in circles: Moderate
Cost: $25/hr (unless bringing your own)
What To Expect
- Calm waters
- Forest scenery
- Animal
- Mild chaos
- Introverts quietly floating beside each other for 5 minutes without speaking
Required Equipment
- Water
- Sunscreen
- The emotional resilience to be overtaken by a retiree in a canoe
Optional Equipment
- Pirate accent
- Umbrella hat
- Binoculars
- Dry bag
- Dramatic orchestral soundtrack played from your phone
Important Note
- You can bring your own kayak.
- Separate kayaks unless otherwise stated.
- Please do not challenge wildlife to combat.
- This is not the Olympics. If you paddle in a circle for 10 minutes, you are still valid.