Friendsgiving Dinner - Plan B for Buffet

Comments are turned off because I do NOT read messages or alerts from Meetup. THE ONLY way to communicate with me is to call/text the DudeistJon Help Line at 513-99-HAPPY

Are you one of the millions of Americans's who experience symptons of loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted?
Do you have crazy family members that believe politics should be the sole topic of discussion at the dinner table?
Are you just tired of pretending that the green beans with the fake onions on top are edible?

If you are experiencing any of these symptons, the DudeistJon Institute for Holiday dinners may be for you. DudeistJon and his untrained friends offer inexperienced and unprofessional help for anyone suffering for MFSS (My Family Sucks Syndrome)

Consult your therapist to find out if DudeistJon is right for you.
Taking DudeistJon has been known to cause side effects such as pregnancy, people staring, costumes covering the body, and conversations that end with "I promise Officer, we won't ever do this again."

Rules for this event:

1. Costumes or ugly sweaters encouraged.
2. Before you are allowed to leave you will be required to share two things you are grateful for. Generic, low effort responses like "My family" will not be accepted.
3. Politics will not be discussed at the dinner table. If you want to fight, take it outside.
4. No one is allowed to ask the staff to say/sing the "Fra-rah-rah" song from the Xmas story movie. (yes, this happened once)
5. If you can burp a song, it is encouraged but only after giving people at the table fair warning and time to get out of earshot (again, this happened once and I was sincerely impressed)
6. The only animals allowed in restaurants under Ohio law are certified assistance animals (sometimes called service animals), trained to perform specific tasks for a person with a disability. Emotional support animals are not assistance animals for public-access purposes and their presence in food service establishments violates ORC 3717